Tangled in the Great Escape

I sat up, rudely awakened from my sleep by the loud banging on the door. I stayed still for a few seconds before throwing my legs off my bed and dragged my feet towards the door. I rubbed my eyes as I opened the door, trying to wipe the sleep away from my eyes, only to find nobody on the other side. I rolled my eyes and went back inside, slamming the door shut. I threw myself back onto the bed and stared at the plain, white ceiling.

Awful would be an understatement when it comes to describing how things are right now. Sometimes I get why I am being treated the way I am but sometimes I also felt like it isn’t fair. I hate the fact that my best friends chose to be on Cassie’s side rather than mine, but I also know that what I did was wrong and honest to God, if there’s any, I would take everything back in a heartbeat.

I sighed and sat up, changed my clothes into something appropriate before heading down to have breakfast. I was skipping down the stairs with my phone in my hand, checking my e-mails and what not when I bumped into Lauren on the way to the kitchen.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there” I looked up from my phone and gave her an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, your mom is in the living room. Just a heads up” She smiled before heading to the laundry room.

I sighed and walked towards the kitchen, spotting my mom sitting quietly on the couch, watching soaps with a bowl of soup from the corner of my eye. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and ate it on the kitchen counter, not bothering to sit down. I could feel my mom’s burning stare behind me as I ate, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and look her in the eyes after what happened.

Yeah my friends might be mad at me for what I did to Cassie, but my mom was furious. She was angry, upset, infuriated and the thing that hits me the most was the disappointment in her eyes when she found out Cassie had gone to London because of me. It has been almost a month since I got back, and approximately 3 weeks since Cassie moved and in that time span, my mom had ignored me the whole time. She used to wake me up every morning when I’m home, she always forced me to spend time watching TV with her or she would ask me to take her on a drive, just because she was bored at home. Now she talked to me only when necessary, leave notes when she has to go out and banged on the door when she wants to wake me up.

I’m not going to lie; I was utterly gutted and sad when I realized my own mother couldn’t look me in the eyes without looking like I had just murdered someone’s kid. She is literally the only reason why I’m alive, or still alive for that matter. After my dad’s passing, I vowed myself to take care of her and give her the life she deserves but now I felt like I had let my whole world down.

“Mom, I’m going to go out. Do you need anything?” I walked closer to the couch after putting the bowl in the sink, hoping this time she will at least turn her attention to me.

I waited for a few seconds but the only sound I heard was the one coming out of the TV.

“Alright then, I’m heading out. If you need anything just ask Lauren to text me” I stood awkwardly for a few seconds then I went out after grabbing my keys. I got into the car and drove aimlessly for half an hour, thinking about all the stuff that happened since Cassie left.

Just last week I tried calling the guys to hang out, although they didn’t say it straight, I knew they didn’t want to because magically, they all have something important to do. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, getting their trust and their forgiveness but I never thought it would be this hard. At first, they wouldn’t even answer my texts or my phone calls, Vic was the first one to reach out to me and actually talk to me. Though we didn’t talk about what happened, I knew he was just as disappointed at me as the rest of the guys but I appreciate him trying to move on and focus on the band.

I literally felt like I was alone, I have no friends both inside and outside my house. Sometimes I even feel like I’m a guest in my own home simply because the only person living there doesn’t want me around. The day my mom ignored me was the day she hired Lauren to help her around the house and to take care of her. Lauren Clarke is the next-door neighbor, my mom and Mrs. Clarke are close friends and when Mrs. Clarke heard that she needs help, she offers her daughter who happen to be a student in nursing school to help out. I had never spoken to Lauren the entire time I lived in that house, I didn’t even know there was a girl living next door until she showed up in my doorstep one Monday morning.

She is the only person that is willing to talk to me without giving me the stink eye or without brushing my ego on the whole Cassie debacle. Oh, she knew about what happened and God did she have some things to say to me.

”Hey Tony, where’s your mom?” asked Lauren as she entered the front door, she was holding a paper bag filled with groceries.

“In her room, what’s that?” I pointed to the bag she has propped against her hip.

“Fruits, your mom asked for them before I come over. I’m going to put these in the fridge, so damn heavy” She exhaled loudly and went into the kitchen. A few minutes later she reemerges and went straight to my mom’s room.

Breaking Bad was playing on TV but my mind was elsewhere. This happens a lot lately, I feel like sometimes I’m not even here; people would talk to me and I would blatantly ignore them, being too engrossed in my own thoughts. About half an hour later I can hear the door to mom’s room opened and closed and footsteps coming closer to the living room. The next thing I knew, I felt a hard smack to the back of my head and my body shot forward, tipping over the popcorn bowl I have on my lap.

“What the fuck? The hell is wrong with you?!” I shouted as I whipped my head back and found Lauren standing there with an expression I have never seen on her face before.

Hatred.

“Me? What the hell is wrong with you?” She walked closer to me, pointing at my face with her finger.

I stood up, towering over her and closing the gap we had. “You don’t go around smacking people in the head, Clarke. It’s not polite,” I hissed.

“Of course, it’s a different story though when the person is a total asshead” She seethed and shoved me in the chest.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m completely lost” I threw my hands up in the air in confusion.

“I’m talking about what you did to that poor girl, Cassandra. What were you thinking Perry?” She shook her head and crossed her arm in front of her chest.

I went still and suddenly the room got eerily quiet. Lauren and I were staring at each other’s eyes; hers filled with disgust and hate while mine was filled with fear and embarrassment.

“What?” I asked barely above whisper.

“What?” She asked back, in a cocky manner.

“How did–“

“How did I know? Your mother told me everything, and I mean literally everything” She said emphasizing on everything.

I cursed inwardly; fucking mom can’t keep her shit to herself.

“It’s none of your business and I’d appreciate it if you would just shut the fuck up when you know nothing about what happened. You don’t know my side of the story” I spat and brushed myself harshly against her as I walked towards the door.

“Then tell me” She put her hands on her waist, challenging me.

I scoffed and turned around. “Not in your wildest dreams, sweetheart” I sneered and walked out the door.

After that day, we were both ice cold to each other until one day I couldn’t take it anymore. She was the only person I talk to and I manage to piss her off as well. So I swallowed my pride and apologized for being an ass to her like that, surprisingly she apologized back to me, for being too intrusive and insensitive. I was just glad that afterwards, she wasn’t being awkward or distant; in fact, she was nicer and more understanding than before. She knew about the problems I have with my mom and sometimes on her best mood, Lauren would urge me to go and try to talk to her. Until this day, I haven’t said anything about what happened to Cassie and I to Lauren, I figured since things are better now between us I shouldn’t do anything to ruin that.

I realized just as I popped back to reality that I have been driving for almost an hour and now I’ve been sitting still in front of Mike’s house. I closed my eyes and sighed, I missed my friends and if they won’t answer my calls, might as well pay them a visit. I took one big breath and opened the door, walking towards Mike’s front door. I debated whether I should knock or call Mike and tell him that I’m out front, but then again, I’m sure he won’t be answering his phone.

I stood patiently after I knocked on the door, hoping that Mike would open the door instead of Frenchi. Seconds later, the door opened and well, let’s just say luck wasn’t on my side, Frenchi stood there with the look she has been giving me since the last time I saw her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, above her very pregnant belly.

“I… uh, I came to see Mike” I fidgeted, scared as hell.

“He doesn’t want to see you, frankly none of us do” She glared at me.

“Can I just talk to him? Please? I miss you guys and–“

“Stop, I don’t want to hear your bullshit. Just get the fuck out of my front door!” She yelled, startling me.

“Come on French, I said I was sorry. I just really want to see my friends” I pleaded; I must’ve looked like a complete pussy for doing this.

Frenchi’s yelling must’ve gotten heard from inside the house because soon Mike was standing behind her, staring at me with a blank expression.

“Babe, come on relax. You don’t want the neighbors to hear you” He said grabbing her by the waist, trying to pull her back into the house.

“I need to make it clear to him that he’s not wanted here” She wiggled out from Mike’s grip.

“I’ll talk to him okay, you get inside. The yelling won’t do any good for the baby” He put his hand on her belly, and just like that Frenchi took off storming inside.

Mike went out and closed the door behind him and walked towards me, shaking his head. “What are you doing here dude?”

“I just thought I’d stop by and you know, maybe we can talk or hang out or shit” I gave him a small smile.

“You know things aren’t really good right now Tone, I wish you’d understand that. I think we all need time to sort this shit out” He pushed his hair back, I can tell that he was frustrated.

“It’s what I’m trying to do man, I’ve been trying to make amends with everyone”

“Don’t force it dude, everything takes time. You know I don’t mean anything bad but I think you should go, all this stress isn’t good for Frenchi and the baby”

And just like that I felt like I just got stabbed with a fucking axe. My own best friend is asking me to go and I just stood there like an idiot even after he went back into his house. I walked back into my car feeling shittier than I’ve ever felt in the past 3 weeks.

Karma really is a fucking bitch.