You Had My Heart At Least for the Most Part

“Who is that?” Vanessa asked as she hopped off the counter.

“I don’t know.” I hesitated, hoping it wasn’t Brian with another girl. I don’t think I could handle seeing Vanessa so upset.

The door burst open, and in came Brian with his lips locked with some girl’s. Vanessa gasped as she saw the guy she liked sucking faces with a random chick. Brian didn’t notice and he kept kissing the girl roughly. As he reached the top step, I coughed. He pulled away from the girl and saw Vanessa starting to cry.

“Vanessa! What are you doing here?” He asked wiping his lips.

“Who is she?” The girl asked standing in front of Brian.

Brian pushed her aside then walked to Vanessa. But she just moved away from him. “Vanessa, it isn’t what it looks like," Brian lied.

“What the hell?! It is exactly what it looks like, Brian!” Vanessa yelled at him.

It was breaking my heart to see her crying like that. She ran off the bus and Brian looked at me. “I thought I fucking told you to send her home if she came here!”

“She asked me to go out to a fucking movie, chill Brian.”

“No! You fucked all this up!” He shoved my chest.

“You don’t even care!” I pushed him back. “All she is to you is another chick to sleep with! You are too much of a pussy to be in a relationship! You can’t make a commitment like that, so you just fuck every girl you see! You have no idea how much Vanessa liked you!” I spat.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He walked to the back room and slammed his door shut.

I sighed and walked off the bus to find Vanessa. She is all I cared about this point cause she did not deserve to get hurt like that. Brian had it coming so I could care less if he was pissed off at me or not. “Vanessa?” I asked walking off the bus.

I heard a faint cry coming from the back end of the bus. My feet carried me towards her. I sighed when I saw her sitting on the cold ground, hugging her knees as she cried. I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her. “I am really sorry.” I sighed.

She shook her head. “You knew all along.” She didn’t even bother to look at me. She just stared straight ahead.

“Yeah.” I sighed. I was done with lying to her. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You should have told me, Zach.” Her eyes pierced the side of my face as I looked at the ground.

“I know, it was wrong for me to hide it from you.” I looked down at her. “I really am sorry. I was caught in the middle. Either I told you and Brian was pissed at me, or I let you stay happy with Brian, knowing he was sleeping with other girls.”

“So you would rather let me get hurt than to tell your best friend to keep his dick in his pants?” She looked up at me.

“Vanessa,” I sighed seeing how hurt she was, “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“It sure seems like it.” She stood up.

“That’s not what it is,” I said seriously.

“Then what was it, Zacky?” She put her hand on her hip and she wiped her eyes as I stood up also.

“I like you, Vanessa!” I shouted, even though it was not necessary whatsoever. “I fucking hate it when Brian sleeps with a bunch of girls! I knew you would find out one way or another. I was caught in the middle of some shit Brian started. Either I tell you about all the other girls and have my best friend hate me, or I let you stay happy! I didn’t want to see you get hurt so I thought I would let you be happy as long as it would last.” I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Vanessa just looked at me shocked. Obviously she was clueless about the fact she actually meant something to me. I sighed, not getting a verbal response from her. “I know you really liked Brian. But it killed me to see you with him. You have no idea how many times I almost told you about it. I just couldn’t,” She still didn’t respond. She just started at me still shocked. “I’ll just let you go then.” I turned around and started to walk away from her.

“Zacky.” Her voice cracked as she called my name.

“What?” I asked in an annoyed tone. Why couldn’t she understand I was just trying to make the two of them happy? I turned and saw her walking towards me with determination. She put her hands on my cheeks and pressed her lips against mine. My eyes closed instantly, wanting to take in the moment. I pulled her roughly against my body and backed her up against the bus. I couldn’t control myself. I wanted her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and arched her back so her body was pressed against mine. I tilted my hips forward so they were grinding against hers.

Her fingers ran through my hair as we kissed. I slipped my hands up her shirt to her ribs. She moaned a little as I kissed to her neck from her soft lips. My hands wondered up her body to her chest. My fingers slipped up the bottom of her bra and I cupped her breasts in my hands. This continued for a few minutes until we both felt we were moving way too fast.

I let my hands fall back down and I breathed hard against her neck. Vanessa rested her head back against the bus trying to catch her breath. It was amazing. I never would have thought I would be doing this with Vanessa. But things have changed. Maybe she finally would be mine.

Once I was back to normal with my breathing, I looked up at her. She smiled a little and pecked my lips. “I don’t know what this feeling is.” Vanessa looked from my eyes to my lips. “I want you,” she kissed me, “but I don’t know if it’s more than that.”

I pressed my lips against hers before she could pull away after the second peck. “I am not going to mess this up.” I told her. I looked down at her as she smiled up at me. “But I am going to do whatever it takes to make you need me.”

“Zach.” she sighed and kissed my throat. “I don’t know if,” Vanessa sighed again, “I don’t know if it is more than lust.”

I sighed and pulled away from her. “So was it the same with Brian? It was just lust?”

“Well,” she hesitated and looked down.

“I tried to protect you the whole time thinking you actually liked him. You just wanted him for the sex?” I asked angrily.

“No,” she shook her head, “that was half of it but I did like him,” she told me.

“And do you still like him?” my tone did not change.

“I don’t know.” She sighed.

“Well I am not getting into this with you. If you’re just going to use me for sex, you can go back to Brian. You don’t want a relationship anyways,” I spat rudely. I turned and walked away from her.

“Zach,” she called. I just kept walking. I thought Vanessa was different. Apparently she is just the female version of Brian.