A Life Better Than Reality Lies in My Dreams

I tilted the bottle back then and took a huge drink. I walked inside to the bar where Rev was entertaining some girls now. He held up a palm to them when he saw me sit down. "How ya feeling champ?" He asked. I slammed the bottle on the table and said, "Lousy, now can I puh-leease have a drink?" Rev hesitated but made me a drink like before. "You sure you don't need to slow down?" He asked as I finished my drink in almost one gulp. "No." I sat the cup down and motioned for him to pour me another. He sighed but did what I asked. I leaned over the bar and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You are a great friend Jimmy." He laughed and said, "That's the first time you called me Jimmy and you are probably not going to remember it." "Neither will you after tonight!" I said as I walked away towards Matt and Amber. "Hhheeeyyyy!" I slurred as I threw my weight onto Amber. She struggled to hold me up so Matt put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. "April, you ok?" He asked steadying me. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fucking fine. Fine. Fine. Fine!" I was almost yelling. "Yeah, well let's go sit on the couch." He said turning me around. Matt had to practically carry me to the couch because I was stumbling so much. I plopped down next to Syn again and laid my head on the arm of the couch. "You want to go up to your room?" Eryka asked leaning forward to look at me. "No." I said playing with the end of the couch. "Well tell me if you need anything." She said. "Tell Zacky to ditch his ex-girlfriend and get with me." I said staring intently at my fingers making an invisible design on the arm. Syn, Eryka, Amber, and Matt laughed quietly and then ignored me as they talked.

"You look like you could use this." Rev said kneeling beside me. He handed me a Sprite and patted my knee. I slowly drank the soda trying to wash the vodka taste out of my mouth. I started to sober up a little when Syn and Eryka told me goodnight and went upstairs. Johnny came and sat beside me then and asked, "You having a good night?" I nodded even though it wasn't entirely true. "Good." He kissed the side of my head and went to the bar. "So you are dating Zacky Vengeance?" Justin's voice came from behind me. I tilted my head back looking up at him. "No." I said flatly. "Really? Well looked like a different story out on the balcony." He said walking over to sit next to me. "Well we've been hanging out for a week or so. I tripped over his bag and he took me to a movie. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet." I said turning my head from Justin to look at the floor. "Yet. That means you want him too." Justin said with a smirk. "Yeah it does. But I don't think that's going to happen." I said sadly. His face dropped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset." He put a hand on my shoulder as I shrugged them. "It's not your fault. He's the one who hasn't asked me yet." I smiled then. "Why don't you think he'll ask you?" He asked. "Well first off, I'm leaving in a week. So I'm sure he doesn't want us to have to carry on a long distance relationship. Two, he's a rock star and why would he want to be with me? Three, his ex-girlfriend won't leave him alone and it's really starting to piss me off." I finished with a sigh. "Is that the blond girl he took upstairs?" Justin asked quietly. I looked at him wide-eyed and stood slowly. "Excuse me for a minute." I almost whispered.

I walked upstairs not hearing anything but my heartbeat. It grew faster and louder the closer I got to our bedroom door. I stopped in front of the door and thought about turning back. Finally I convinced myself to slowly turn the handle and open the door. My breath caught in my throat and my heart shattered into a million pieces. Zacky and Gina were sitting on the bed, too involved in their make-out session to notice I opened the door. Tears fell involuntarily down my face as I managed to say, "Well I know now what we really needed to talk about." Zacky jerked his head around to look at me. I shook my head slowly as more tears began to fall and Zacky ran towards me with arms open. "April, I didn't mean to. I'm drunk, she came on to me. I couldn't help it." I put a hand up against his chest stopping him in his tracks. "No, you were just tired of your one night stand." He stood with a shocked expression as I turned and headed back down to the living room. I half ran over to Rev. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" I squeaked out over sobs. He wrapped me up in a tight hug and asked, "What's wrong? What did he do?" I didn't have to answer because Zacky came to the rail looking over the crowd. Gina walked up behind him pulling his arm trying to get him to go back to the room with her. I looked up frantically at Rev. "Can we go now? I don't want to talk to him." Rev put a hand on my back and guided me out of the room. Zacky saw us as he flew down the stairs. "April, wait!" He called after us but we were into Rev's room with the door locked before he could make it across the hall.

I sat on the end of Rev's bed listening to Zacky continue to beat on the door. "April, please sweetie. I didn't mean it. You think I would be sitting here trying to get you to open the door if I wanted to be with her?" I sighed and covered my face with my hands. Hearing him call me sweetie was more than I could handle. I started crying harder than before and Rev pulled me to him. "Zack, just go back to your room. You two can work this out tomorrow." Rev called through the door. "Jimmy, I can't do that. I have to fix it now. I can't have her mad at me." Zacky pleaded through the door. It was silent for a minute or two then Zacky said quietly, "April, I care about you more than anything in the world. I would give up everything I have right now to have you open this door and talk to me. I would give anything just to see your beautiful face, even for one minute." I pulled myself away from Rev and he looked at me puzzled. I held up a hand signaling I was ok, and then walked to the door. I opened it and Zacky tried to walk towards me. I stopped him with my hand on his chest and said, "I'm tired and I want to go to sleep. We can discuss this tomorrow." "Ok, well let’s go back to the room then and we'll go right to sleep." He said grabbing my hand. I pulled out of his grip and said, "No. I'm staying here." "April..." I cut him off by shutting the door in his face. "I love you." He finished his sentence. I pressed my head against the door and said, "You're drunk remember?" I walked back to sit by Rev on the end of bed. Tears silently rolled down my face as I stared at the floor. "Come on let's go to bed." Rev said getting up to pull the sheets back. We climbed in and he wrapped me up in his arms and held me until I cried myself to sleep.