Broken Lullaby

The silence inside the house awoke Morgan. Her first thought landed on Sydney, since she had waited most of the night for her to come back, until having fallen asleep on the couch.

Her bare feet walked to what used to be Sydney’s bedroom, finding the door closed. Slowly twisting the door knob, her stance relaxed when she found the room immerse in complete darkness and silhouette of a body lying on the bed.

“Sydney? It’s time to get up.” Morgan saw the body move and a few moments later get up. She walked inside and opened the shudders, making Sydney cringe and cry out lowly. “I’ll go make some coffee.” Morgan stepped out of the bedroom.

The look on Sydney’s face when she got downstairs wasn’t exactly the most flattering one. Her usually bright hazel eyes looked dull and the grayish tone under them evidenced that she had spent most of the night awake.

“Have you been drinking last night?” Morgan asked when she finally sat in front of Sydney, mimicking as she held the coffee mug between her hands.

“No.” Sydney took a sip of her coffee. “Maybe.” Her eyes looked down to the black liquid. The silence between the two girls was everything but comfortable.

Sydney watched the kitchen clock tick 60 times before speaking. “I still can’t believe you told him.”

Morgan only sighed, her lips still against the mug ring. Another minute ticked away in silence.

“Maybe you should talk to him.” Her blue eyes finally locked with Sydney’s.

“Who? Zacky? No.” Sydney shook her head firmly.

“You should call him.” Morgan insisted.

“I’m not going to call him. What would I say then? ‘Hey there Zacky, what’s up? Oh, I’ve heard Morgan told you that Brian and I slept together and that he pretty much cheated on his now fiancée and that I betrayed the trust of one of my closest friends.’” Sydney raised an eyebrow at her. “How does that sound?”

Morgan couldn’t help but smile, her head shaking slightly at what she’d just heard. “It’s funny; when I told him about it he didn’t seem very shocked.”

“What?”

Morgan chuckled. “Well, let’s just say that he always expected you two to end up together, until Michelle became part of the picture.”

The look on Sydney’s face was the one of utter confusion.

“Come on, Sydney. You’re not going to tell me that you’re the only one who didn’t see it, are you?”

“See what?”

“Really? In all those years before Valary and Matt got married, before Michelle started dating with Brian, you never saw him as more than a friend?”

“I did, but…” Suddenly the chipped nail polish on one of Sydney’s fingernails seemed the most interesting thing in the room.

“But what? We all thought, almost knew that you two were meant for each other.”
Sydney shook her head. “You know my relationship with Brian would be just another accident waiting to happen.”

Morgan glanced at the kitchen’s clock, the hours hand just minutes away from reaching the number nine. They were already late. “That’s not true.” She rested both mugs inside the kitchen sink and Sydney followed her outside the kitchen.

“Oh, really? Which former relationship of mine do you want to talk about? Do you remember Ryan from high school? Do you remember Josh? Or Cory from college? What about Kevin from when we toured with the guys?”

“I don’t think we could call your ‘thing’ with Kevin a real relationship.” Morgan snickered as she locked the front door, trying to keep the conversation cheerful, but she could see that it was already going where she didn’t want it to go.

“That’s not the point. The point is that it would never work out. It never did with any of them, why would it with Brian?” Sydney shrugged.

Morgan unlocked the car and got in, waiting for Sydney to join her before sighing deeply. “You know what I think? I think you’re scared.”

“Damn right I’m scared! Do you think I want to never see Brian again, or lose you all? Because that’s what would eventually happen if -” She stopped herself, only to look away from Morgan and stare through the passenger window. “You know me.” Her arms were now wrapped around her torso, as if hugging herself would keep her from falling apart. “You know I can’t love.”

“That’s not true, Syd.” Morgan stared at steering-wheel, her fingers gripping it tighter than usual.

“It is. Do you remember Alex?” Morgan nodded.

Alex had been Sydney’s last boyfriend, the longest relationship she’d had, and the only one that had become friends with Brian and the others.

“Do you remember when I said he’d broken up with me?” Morgan nodded again. “Well, I was lying. I broke up with him. Do you know why? Because he proposed to me.” Morgan’s eyes suddenly darted at her, shock clear on her face. “That’s right, we dated for almost three years, you all liked him and when he proposed to me I broke up with him.” Sydney laughed bitterly, tears starting to cloud her vision. “That’s how fucked up I am.”

“I’m sorry.” Morgan didn’t know what else to say.

“Don’t be, it’s my fault only.” She wiped away a tear that had rolled down her cheek. During all those years they had been friends, Morgan had never seen her crying. “We should get going; I don’t want to upset Michelle.”



Three months later

“This is finally it,” Sydney said to herself while staring down at the text message she’d gotten from Michelle, a photo attached to it. It was her bridesmaid dress.

After spending those days in Huntington, helping Michelle with the dresses and some of the wedding preparations, Sydney had flown back to Miami. A month later the guys had returned from touring and she hadn’t gone back to visit them. She hadn’t called Zacky either, believing nothing good out of that conversation would come.

Now, with only one night separating her from going back to Huntington Beach, there were too many things that she dreaded for. The questions, the looks, the wedding. Brian. She would have to finally face everything.

At first Sydney had said that she was only going to Huntington for the wedding, but after much persuasion, she had finally accepted to stay for a week. She would arrive in time for Morgan’s birthday and the bachelor party, leaving the day after the wedding.

She closed her suitcase and got ready to go to sleep. Tomorrow she would have to be at the airport really early.



“Syd!!” Sydney almost jumped once she got out of the airport. Slowly turning to her right, a cold feeling formed in her stomach when she realized that they were there.

They were all there. The ten of them, waiting for her.

Morgan was the first to run toward her, hugging her as hard as she could and making Sydney drop her bag.

Voices laced with excitement surrounded her as they all tried to greet her and say how much they had missed her. At that moment, all Sydney wanted to do was cry. She’d been a bitch. A cold hearted one by leaving them, by trying to avoid them as much as she could.

And still there they were. Not caring that she had abandoned them.