The Girl Who Stayed

I sit on a cloud as I watch Chris make new stars in the sky with cloud dust. Something I had forgot that I could do here. He seems like such a different person already, like something heavy was lifted from his shoulders. Like he was a brand new person. He was laughing as he grasped for the edges of another passing cloud to draw more star in the black canvas sky. I lay back and the cloud forms a protective cushion around my body, hugging me like warm blanket in a cool day. I breathe out and my breath paints the air bright pink. I have never seen that before, maybe it’s because it's rather cold today, which is not usual of here. I flip onto my stomach and part the cloud to look down at the lake, it’s still thawing out. Neverland is reacting a lot slower to my return then it has to Peter’s in the past, not that Chris seems to mind. I turn back around to check up on him, he seems unaware of the cold even with goose bumps covering his bare arms. Maybe winter is his favorite season? I tilt my head to the side as I wonder about his past; his muscles are well defined, like he does a lot of manual labor. I shake my head, should I be noticing that about him?

I look away, feeling odd about noticing his body. I decide to watch as the birds lead a new child here, I wonder how this one was orphaned. Most children who come here come to escape loneliness they feel in the homes they are shoved in when parents die. I look at Chris, is that why he is here? With an adoptive family like Peter’s shouldn’t he feel endlessly joy? Maybe Peter has changed a lot since he was our Pan. Maybe he is strict and like all the other grownups I remembered. Stuffy, hardly ever smiling, stressed grownups. How could he leave here for that? I turn and look down again watching as the lake cracks. The sound is so loud like thunder, that’s our cue to go. Alice will be lurking soon and I am too tired to play with her right now. I need some rest before our next encounter.

“Chris, we will go to the hideaway now. I want you to meet the others.” Tuck sat on my shoulder tugging my hair to get me to look at him, I swat at him impatiently as he tugged harder. “Let’s go.”

I fly off the cloud and hear him do the same. Tuck glares at him and stomps his feet against the air, then he zooms off ahead of us. Probably to complain to the children about Chris. Such a silly little one, so full of jealousy like his sister. I should have figured as much when I picked from the same gene pool. Chris is lagging behind so I stop, wait for him to catch up, and then I grab his hand. For a moment I remember when Peter did the same for me and I smile. I look at Chris and he is smiling too. I can see why Peter loved this so much, it’s like seeing Neverland new again, and it’s so thrilling. I twist around wrapping us the passing clouds, it hugged around us and we both laughed. I haven't felt this great here in a while, and then the hope bloomed. It was the hope that he would never leave. I felt a sudden connection to Peter’s need to have someone his age around. That need to have someone who understands what you have been through and to be able to talk to someone on the same level as you. That’s when I remember the lost children; most certainly they will want to call Chris father, I must explain to him why. I don't want him to feel strange about it.

“Chris,” I stop us and allow us to hover in air, both his hand are in mine, “the children you will meet, well they will be very young. They call me mother because I am Pan and much older. That’s means you will be father, understand?”

He blushed, which took me by surprise, “yeah I get it.”

I smiled and then we were off again, on our way to the children.