Status: Complete
Why Can't We Make This Darkness Feel Like Home?
Drei
“So, what’s up?” Ashley asked, sitting down on top of the picnic table with me.
“Well recently Bill said the three letter word to me!” I smiled.
“Really? Oh my gosh. Well do you think you love him back?”
“Yeah I think so, I really do think so!” I smiled again. “Anyways how are you and Georg?” I asked her because I did not want to have our conversation only focus on my relationship with Bill, plus I really wanted to know how things were going in her life.
“I really do like him; we just started dating last week. It's official!"
“I'm so happy for you."
“...Are you sure you love Bill? You know you guys haven't been together that long...,” Ashley asked, avoiding my comment, I guess she was concerned. I know it is probably way too early to be in love; however, I really love him. "Yes, I’m one hundred percent sure! Bill and I have known each other for one whole year now,” I explained to her. I really did not know what was going to happen to me if we ever do break up, because I moved into Bill’s L.A. apartment.
“Well you know me, I’m always worried. What happens if he hurts you? I just don’t want anything to happen to you again." I knew it was going to be hard for Ashley to trust Bill because of my abusive ex-boyfriend. My ex would beat me and call me names when things did not go his way, he had a rage problem. I thought it would stop but it never did, my friends and family found out when he put me into the hospital with many bone fractures. Ashley knew I was still broken inside from the abuse, she also knew I was hiding my past from Bill. Of course he did not know, I thought he would not understand.
“It’s not going to happen again! I love Bill; he would never do that to me!” I called out, tears rolling down my face. I became embarrassed; I brought my knees up to my chest to hide from whoever was listening. When I finally let go I saw Bill which made me cry even more. He could not talk to me; he probably wished he could talk to me right now. Bill came over anyways and sat in between Ashley and I, almost pushing Ashley out of the way. He hugged onto me.
“I-I-I… I love you! I would never do that to you, you know this. I’m not going to be another one of those sick guys that do that,” Bill explained talking for the first time; he was a little shaky and had a coarse voice.
“Bill you're talking!” I changed the subject.
“Tom said my doctor called a week ago and said I could start talking again. Tom said he forgot,” Bill explained. He seemed a little pissed that Tom 'forgot'. “Now please don’t change the subject on me again!” Bill continued, remembering that I changed the subject.
“I just want to forget,” I frowned. I was sick of him, sick of his face.
“He is long gone, he will never find you here,” Ashley explained, trying to comfort me. I knew he probably would never hurt me again, but that does not mean other people will not.
“You're safe with us. You have me, Georg, Tom, Gustav, and Ashley!” Bill added.
“Yeah Jess, we will always have your back,” Tom said, listening in on the conversation. Tom walked out of the French doors with Georg and Gustav following. I got up and hugged Tom, crying on his Marc Eckō shirt. My crying was not sad, but happy. I was happy that all of them were helping me, they were like my brothers. I kept crying as Georg and Gustav hugged me too. They all knew that I need them because this was a hard time for me.
“Well recently Bill said the three letter word to me!” I smiled.
“Really? Oh my gosh. Well do you think you love him back?”
“Yeah I think so, I really do think so!” I smiled again. “Anyways how are you and Georg?” I asked her because I did not want to have our conversation only focus on my relationship with Bill, plus I really wanted to know how things were going in her life.
“I really do like him; we just started dating last week. It's official!"
“I'm so happy for you."
“...Are you sure you love Bill? You know you guys haven't been together that long...,” Ashley asked, avoiding my comment, I guess she was concerned. I know it is probably way too early to be in love; however, I really love him. "Yes, I’m one hundred percent sure! Bill and I have known each other for one whole year now,” I explained to her. I really did not know what was going to happen to me if we ever do break up, because I moved into Bill’s L.A. apartment.
“Well you know me, I’m always worried. What happens if he hurts you? I just don’t want anything to happen to you again." I knew it was going to be hard for Ashley to trust Bill because of my abusive ex-boyfriend. My ex would beat me and call me names when things did not go his way, he had a rage problem. I thought it would stop but it never did, my friends and family found out when he put me into the hospital with many bone fractures. Ashley knew I was still broken inside from the abuse, she also knew I was hiding my past from Bill. Of course he did not know, I thought he would not understand.
“It’s not going to happen again! I love Bill; he would never do that to me!” I called out, tears rolling down my face. I became embarrassed; I brought my knees up to my chest to hide from whoever was listening. When I finally let go I saw Bill which made me cry even more. He could not talk to me; he probably wished he could talk to me right now. Bill came over anyways and sat in between Ashley and I, almost pushing Ashley out of the way. He hugged onto me.
“I-I-I… I love you! I would never do that to you, you know this. I’m not going to be another one of those sick guys that do that,” Bill explained talking for the first time; he was a little shaky and had a coarse voice.
“Bill you're talking!” I changed the subject.
“Tom said my doctor called a week ago and said I could start talking again. Tom said he forgot,” Bill explained. He seemed a little pissed that Tom 'forgot'. “Now please don’t change the subject on me again!” Bill continued, remembering that I changed the subject.
“I just want to forget,” I frowned. I was sick of him, sick of his face.
“He is long gone, he will never find you here,” Ashley explained, trying to comfort me. I knew he probably would never hurt me again, but that does not mean other people will not.
“You're safe with us. You have me, Georg, Tom, Gustav, and Ashley!” Bill added.
“Yeah Jess, we will always have your back,” Tom said, listening in on the conversation. Tom walked out of the French doors with Georg and Gustav following. I got up and hugged Tom, crying on his Marc Eckō shirt. My crying was not sad, but happy. I was happy that all of them were helping me, they were like my brothers. I kept crying as Georg and Gustav hugged me too. They all knew that I need them because this was a hard time for me.