Secret Smiles in the Snow

Sina entered Jon’s chambers and Ghost stood to greet her. After a quick scratch behind the ears, the direwolf trotted back to his warm spot by the hearth and Sina hung up her cloak.

“Where is Sam?” she questioned as Jon stood from his desk, hiding a parchment in a drawer.

“Running late because someone is ill, but he will come as soon as he can. He suspects it was the food,” he answered and Sina put on an innocent expression.

“It wasn’t me,” she said before laughing, Jon smiling with her. “I, uh, should probably tell you something…” Jon raised his eyebrows, his smile faltering as he feared that something was wrong.

“What’s happened?” he asked as he came around the desk and stopped before her. “Did someone hurt you?”

“No, but someone knows that I’m a woman,” she informed him. “Three of the kitchen hands, actually. My friends. And they promised not to tell.” Jon’s jaw locked as he thought over the dangerous situation.

“This isn’t good. You don’t know who they might tell or what they might do to you.”

“I’ll be fine. I trust them,” Sina insisted, but Jon’s expression gave away his fear. “If anything changes, I’ll let you know.” Jon sighed as he lowered his eyes, uncertain of what to do.

“Do they know that I know?” he wondered and Sina shook her head. “I just don’t want you getting hurt. I’m supposed to protect you for Benjen.”

“So what is the plan, then? You were supposed to think of somewhere else for me to go so I could be safe, and now that someone knows I’m a woman, it’s probably a good time to send me away,” Sina pointed out and Jon rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

“I don’t know,” he grunted dismissively.

“Well if you think that I’m no longer safe at the Wall, I should probably leave,” Sina continued, a hint of sadness in her voice. She didn’t want to abandon her fellow kitchen hands as they had truly accepted her as a person, and Sam and Jon were two of the kindest people she had ever met, but if she couldn’t be protected then she knew that she had to move on.

“You weren’t safe here to begin with,” Jon remarked and Sina shrugged.

“Fair point,” she mumbled, confused about what was best for her. The two remained silent for a few moments; the only sounds heard were the flickering of the fire and the rattling of the roof from the cold wind.

“I don’t want you to go.” Jon’s voice was so quiet that Sina thought that she had misheard him.

“Pardon?”

“I don’t want you to go,” Jon repeated with a sigh, looking up from his boots to meet her eyes.

“Why not?” Sina wondered out of pure curiosity.

“I like you; your company is very nice. And you’ve taught me how to smile again,” Jon said, a smile now effortlessly gracing his lips, a complete change to months before.

“Well I’m glad that I have made a difference,” Sina replied with a grin of her own. “But maybe my time here is up and-” Sina was interrupted by Jon suddenly coming towards her. Within a second, his hand had snaked around her neck and she was pulled into a kiss. Though the whole notion was forceful, Jon pressed his lips rather softly against hers, and he was surprised when Sina kissed back, timidly as if she were testing the water. Never before had she experienced a kiss so tender and meaningful like this one. Jon pulled back after a few short pecks, keeping his face closer to hers as his stomach flipped with nervousness.

“Don’t go…” he breathed, hoping that he had just given her a better reason to stay.

“Okay…” Sina agreed. The kiss was her final push. Now she was intrigued as to what would happen between them. Eager to feel the blissful sensation again, Sina closed the distance between them and softly caressed Jon’s cheek with her hand. Jon wrapped his arms around her torso and held her closer, incredibly glad that he had made a move.