It Never Ends

Austin’s POV:

I could feel the warm tears sliding down my dim lit face as I looked over the ravine’s edge. The water below me looked treacherous, white rapids bubbling over the cold, black water underneath. I tried to blink away my tears, but ended up just wiping them with the back of my hand.

“Gosh, why was I so stupid?” I whisper to myself. “Well Mom, I guess I’ll be joining you soon.” I sputter out, a little louder this time. Choking back tears I continued on. “Oliver was right about me. I know you wouldn't be proud of the way I am now.” I look up, almost as if my mom was watching over me.

At this moment I have a thousand different emotions running through my head. Sadness, knowing that these are my final moments on earth, anger for me turning out the way I did…And hurt, knowing the way Oliver thought of me. It hurt, a lot, but I tried to ignore it. He would be happy now that I was gone, everyone would. My family would grieve a bit, but soon forget about me. My friends would quickly move on, my band would find a replacement. I don’t know who I was trying to convince, myself maybe.

I closed my eyes and tried to stop thinking about it. I knew if I thought too much that I would end up not doing it, which isn't what I wanted. I wanted this to end… I think.

“Goodbye.” I whisper as I take a step towards the edge of the ravine, clearly intending to jump and hope that it ended quickly. But then again, maybe suffering was what I deserved.

“WAIT!” A voice behind me screams as I’m suddenly pushed aside, falling to the ground. The mysterious person falls on top of me, obviously trying to hold me down. They were smaller than me, and in the pale moonlight I managed to make out a few tattoos on his neck. Oliver.

Oliver had pushed me to ending my life, and now he was stopping me? What’s the point of that?

“Don’t.” He whispers to me. “This isn't the way. I don’t know too much about what you’re going through but I can tell you right now that jumping in that ravine is not the answer.” He’s still on me and it’s making me cry even more. I’m a balling mess right now, choking and crying, trying to hold back my tears. I didn't want him to see me cry, but it was too late. I looked up at him before replying.

“You told me to. You were right, I’m useless.” At this point I can see a tear forming in his eyes.

“Listen…” He reaches up to wipe his tear away before continuing.

Oli’s POV:

This is not what I expected to find tonight. I expected to take a calming walk in the woods, to get my mind off of Austin, but instead I’m led right to his attempted suicide scene, to stop him. To save him from something I made him do. It has to be some kind of sign, I swear.

I didn't want Austin to kill himself. That was never my intentions; I just wanted him to know how I felt and to maybe better himself. I never expected a confident boy such as Austin Carlile would be on the brink of killing himself, so much so that a few words from me would push him there.

“Listen…” I can feel myself starting to cry now. Things weren't supposed to happen this way. I reach up and wipe my tears and hold back any more from coming out. I have to be strong in front of him, although this situation is making me want to break down. I lift myself off of him a little bit and sit to the side, resting my hands on his shoulders. “I didn't want you to do this. This isn't what I meant when I told you all these things. Sure, I don’t like you, but that’s not a reason to kill yourself. I’m not worth all the trouble, I’m sure you have family, fans, and friends and all sorts of people that would miss you way to much if you just left them now. This is just running from your problems, this is the easy way out.” I reach down and grab one of his hands. “Please don’t try to do something like this again. Promise me.” He looks at me, obviously confused. He’s almost stopped crying, but I can still see stray tears on his face.

Instinctively, I reach up and wipe the tears off from under his eyes. He gasps a little and I quickly pull my hand away. Why did I do that? This is the man that I hate.

“Please promise me. It kills me to see you like this; I know all too well what it’s like to be on the edge. One little thing can push you, and I’m sorry that I had to be that little thing. But seriously, I’m not worth it. You’ll probably never see me again after this warped tour and then it won’t matter.”

“I’m just confused on why you’re helping me.” He finally says, reaching up to run his free hand through his hair. “You have no reason to, you hate me. But I promise, Oli.”

“Hate’s a strong word. I’m sorry if I used it against you; I guess I was just upset. Don’t worry about that now; I helped you because it was the right thing to do. I've been here and somebody helped me, and you need somebody to help you too. By the looks of it, I was the only one around. Now come on, let’s go back to the buses. You need to rest.” I say, pulling him up off the ground. I imagine it would have been a funny sight for anyone else, as he is quite a bit taller and more muscular than myself.

We begin to walk back to the buses, and he asks me how I found him. I explain the urge to go for a walk and the strange pull that lead me straight to him. He nods and listens, his mind obviously on something else. As we approach the buses, I look up at him. He looks like he’s had a really rough night, because obviously he did. His hair is a mess and his face is still red and puffy from all the crying. He’s dirty and honestly, I don’t think he’s in any shape to be alone right now. I sigh and against my better judgment, lead him to my bus.

“Just come to my bus, I don’t want to leave you alone right now. Even if your band mates are there, they don’t know what happened; only I do. You can stay with me tonight, longer if it’s needed.” My words surprise me; I’m not normally this nice to anyone anymore.

He nods, obviously too exhausted to speak or disagree with my choice, and we step up onto my bus, sneaking past all the other guys’ bunks, as they’re already fast asleep. I pull back the curtain to my bunk and tell him he can stay there, and that I’ll sleep on the couch.

“Wait.” He whispers, trying not to wake the other guys up. He looks nervous, but I really was not expecting what he said next. “Will you sleep with me?” He tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth, obviously a nervous habit. Which by the way, it’s weird to see him nervous. He’s normally so confident in everything he says. I roll my eyes and giggle a bit before crawling into the bunk next to him.

Gosh, what has gotten into me today? I’m laying next to the guy I hate right now, and I kind of like it…

Austin reaches over and wraps an arm around me. At first I tense up, but eventually I relax and curl myself next to his body, enjoying the warmth.

Now I’m cuddling the guy I hate. And I kind of like this too…