The Enigma’s Anomaly

Bang.

“Gerard?”

“Sorry! Shit, oh shit sorry. Frankie, it was an accident,” Gerard says.

I peer out of the side of the car to see Gerard holding the gun in his hand like it’s a time bomb rather than a gun.

“Fuck, did you shoot?” I ask, trying not to sound angry.

“I, um, may have. I just wanted to see how it worked. Shit, I didn’t mean for it to go off, Frankie! I didn’t, god do you hate me?”

“No, I’m pissed off, but I don’t hate you. Your mistake did make things just get a hell of a lot more urgent, Gerard. Get in this car now,” I say.

“What, why?”

“Because we’re going to have company soon. It’s a revolver, Gerard! It’s louder than a pistol,” I say and now I have to hurry up on getting the damn engine to start. Gerard just cost me a lot of time and I want to be very mad at him, but I love him too damn much.

Gerard knocks on the window of the other door and I realize I’ve forgotten to open the door for him, so I reach over and get it for him.

I grab the rifle on the seat and I place it next to me, half on the gear control, and half on the floor near the pedals.

“How much longer is it going to take?” Gerard asks.

“I don’t know, Gerard. I don’t know,” I say, sounding a lot more annoyed then I’d like.

“Frank, you hate me!” Gerard complains.

“Gerard, shut the fuck up. I love you, but I need you to be quiet right now,” I say. “Okay? This is a hard process and I need you to be silent. Shut up.”

Gerard opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it and closes it again. I look down at the mess of wires before me, and I groan, because this is going to take me longer then I’d hoped, and now I have the threat of a likely time crunch on my hands. I don’t know how I can possibly do this without endangering both of us.

“Gerard, fuck, I don’t know how much time this is going to take,” I say.

“But you can do it?” Gerard asks.

“Yes, hand me that gun,” I say, and he gives it back to me. I don’t want him firing it again and giving those guys a game of Marco polo. One shot is enough for them to know where are we are in general, and another would lead them straight to us. I put the safety on, trying to fathom why Gerard would have taken it off in the first place, and I keep working. There’s so many wires in these newer cars though, I haven’t done this in forever, and now I have to work on a car that’s designed to be harder to hotwire. This is just great.

“Do you see anyone coming?” I ask him. Gerard blinks a few times and bites his lip, but he opens the window and peers out into the night from the top of the car.

“I don’t see anyone,” Gerard says.

“Good, stay there, but keep your body in the car. If you see anybody tell me, okay. We’ve still got the big gun.”

“Alright,” Gerard answers nervously.

A few minutes later and my heart is starting to beat so fast that I’m afraid it’s going to cause an earthquake. I don’t like Gerard being so exposed like that, but if he doesn’t keep watch then it’ll be easier for them to sneak up on us.

I think I’ve got it, but then it doesn’t work and I frown at myself. It’s just not starting. I’ve connected the right wires, or at least I think I have, but they’re just not starting. Nothings doing anything, and I don’t know why.

There’s always one other way, but I’d much rather try not to do that.

“Frank,” Gerard’s voice says and he sounds utterly terrified.

“Do you see someone?” I ask, feeling panic hit me like a cold shower washing over me.

“There’s movement behind the trees,” Gerard’s voice tells me.

“Get yourself in here, right now,” I say warningly, and he doesn’t think twice before crawling back in.

“Glove compartment, Gerard,” I tell him trying to give the car one last-ditch effort, but it’s not working.

“What do you need?” he asks opening the glove compartment. I check inside, and thank heaven, because these assassins are at least smarter than I’d thought. I grab the soundproofing ear muffs and I don’t think twice before putting them on.

I grab the rifle again, and say to Gerard, “Cover your ears.”

I prop the big gun on the still-broken window and I look through the gun scope. It really is one beautiful piece of machinery, because the scope has a tinted green night vision. I like these guys’ taste in firearms. The window sill doesn’t make the best blind, but it’ll have to do.

Through the scope I see that Gerard wasn’t lying. There is movement, and I can see it much clearer than he could. Two above-average sized people, trying to be all sneaky, but I’ve got him.

I whisper to Gerard to cover his ears one more time just to make sure, and then I take my aim and I shoot.

I shoot their feet. I don’t mind putting those guys in wheelchairs or something, call it a gift from me to them. It would be so easy to kill them is the thing. Just shoot them right here and now. One each in the chest. It’d be a cinch. Too easy. Like it would have been to kill Gerard.

I don’t kill them though, I just shoot four bullets, one to each ankle and I watch them collapse. I actually smile a little bit. It’s like old times. I know it’s bad for me to say, but I’ve kind of missed having a gun in my hands.

“Okay, that should be good for a few minutes,” I say, taking the earmuffs off and Gerard looks at me a little stunned. He’s never seen me fire a gun before. I didn’t even consider that. Now he has, but he doesn’t seem scared which is the preferred reaction, if I’m going to be honest.

“Grab me that briefcase,” I say and he reaches in the back to hand me the briefcase full of money.

I make sure it’s closed all the way, and I just decide that it’s time for a last resort. I bang the briefcase as hard and fast as I can against the key, and then again, and again. I kind of hurt my hand a bit, but it’s not too bad.

“What the hell are you doing?” Gerard asks.

“What? Never seen a man furiously beat a car before?” You need to get out more, my friend,” I say and I hit it again. The briefcase isn’t going to work, and I see that after a few more hits. I throw it to Gerard, who looks so baffled that it’s absolutely adorable.

“Cover your ears again, last time I promise,” I tell him, and I grab the revolver.

It’s not exactly a smart thing to do, and it’s definitely dangerous, but this gun isn’t very powerful so we should be good. I point the muzzle directly at the key mechanism and fire.

That did the trick because it falls off like a little piece of shrapnel a moment later. I see the rotation switch in the debris of the battered key, and it’s not too hard to twist the little tumbler.

What follows is the blissful sound of the car’s ignition. It sounds like a fucking orchestra to me, and I turn to see Gerard grinning, but he still looks confused.

“What was that about?”

“I bypassed ignition lock, and just went straight for the rotation switch. No biggie,” I say.

“I could fucking kiss you!” Gerard says, and I smile at him.

“Not just yet, there’s one last thing I want to do,” I wink at him and unclasp the briefcase. He gives me a curious look, and doesn’t seem all that surprised to see the money.

“Hey boys!” I shout out the window. I take a wad of cash from the briefcase and pull out a couple of twenties, maybe totaling to about three hundred dollars.

“For your consideration,” I toss the money out the window, and give my best shit-eating grin to them, “Don’t let it get lost by the wind!”

They grab for their guns, but I just snort. I flip them off then put my foot on the pedal, and we’re off. I feel absolutely great about it.

~*~*~*~

About half an hour later we pull into the small parking lot of the convenience store that we told Mikey to head to. The lights inside are bright and I don’t like looking at them so I grab the revolver I set in one of the cup holders and look down at it for a moment.

“You know I could shoot you, Gerard.”

“What?” he asks.

“I could shoot you. I’ve got a revolver, we’re in the middle of nowhere. I could just shoot you and you’d be dead.”

Gerard turns pale, “What are you saying, Frank?”

“I’m just saying that I could shoot you, and then all this would stop, you know? Like you’d be dead, I could collect the money as The Enigma, and I could disappear, everything would be back to the way it was before I met you.”

“You’re scaring me Frank,” Gerard says.

“I don’t mean to,” I say, shaking my head. I grab the revolver and I twist the cylinder, letting the remaining four bullets pop out of it.

“Why’d you...?”

“Here,” I grab his hand and place them in it, then fold it closed for him. “I’m not going to hurt you, Gerard. I love you, which is stupid, because you’re a fucking dork, and we don’t really make that much sense. You’ve gotten in the way of my big plans, you know? Like, I was going to have so much money from that contract, and I was psyched, but then you came along and you fucked everything up.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Please don’t be. I think you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. Actually, no, I don’t think you are, I know you’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re so damn perfect, and it’s starting to annoy me that I can’t find any flaws with you, but I like it. You just don’t make sense.”

Gerard’s voice is quiet when he asks, “H-how don’t I make sense?”

“Because you just don’t. I’m this elitist, seasoned killer and you’re a gorgeous little artist. We shouldn’t make sense, we shouldn’t have ever even met, but we did. Meeting you has kind of made me feel like I’ve finally pushed my head above water. Like I’m finally breathing. Finally seeing. I don’t know. I don’t understand you, but you make me feel really... real. Alive.

“It’s like, with you, I’ve discovered a new color, right? And this new color can’t exist, there’s no room for it, all the colors that exist are already there. There’s no conceivable way for me to have found this new color, because it just isn’t possible, but there you are, living proof that that color is real. The spectrum of colors can’t contain you, but you’re right there, I’m looking at you. It doesn’t feel real, but at the same time I’m trying to now question how I ever lived without this color in my life, because it’s honestly... it’s the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen. It’s prettier than all the other colors, and it’s you, Gerard. You’re this new color, this new emotion, and I can’t wrap my head around your existence, but I never want to stop trying to figure it out. I never want to stop looking at you, knowing I’ll never understand you, because the view is just... just absolutely remarkable.”

"You think of me like that?” he whispers.

“I think higher of you then that, but that’s all I can vocalize with the words I have access to,” I say, and I look out the window, “You’re so much more than that though, Gerard.”

I feel his hand on my cheek, and when I turn to see him he kind of attacks me. I don’t even get to look at him, because his lips are on me before I even know what’s happening, and it feels so fucking raw.

Like, there’s teeth, and spit, and tongues are getting in the way, but it feels absolutely amazing. The way Gerard’s grabbing the sides of my head and pulling me in, like it’s possible that I’d ever actually refuse. It’s violent, sloppy, a little gross, and hungry, but I don’t care because it’s absolutely brilliant.

There’s a knock on the side of the car, because of course, the window is gone, and I see Mikey. I’m in an uncomfortable position wherein Mikey’s brother is practically straddling me in the front seat of a stolen car, and there’s also a gun wedged into my back which is poking at my neck. It’s all very awkward.

“I’m glad you’re both alive, but I hope you realize that it’s a class B misdemeanor to engage in public lewdness, e.g. having sex in a car,” Mikey says with that fucking monotone, and I still hear the amusement in his voice, even though it’s not actually there.

“Sorry,” Gerard says, but he doesn’t look even a little bit sorry, the little fuck.

“No you’re not,” Mikey rolls his eyes, and he grabs the handle to the backseat, then clambers inside.

“No I’m not,” Gerard confirms.