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The Enigma’s Anomaly

Frank is a skilled assassin. He kills people for a living. He is not meant to fall in love with someone he’s been hired to kill. He’s supposed to just kill the guy and get it over with.

If that’s the case then why is Gerard Way still alive?

(This has been popularly described as suspenseful and witty. Not sure how those two mix, but I'll take it.)
  1. The Botched Assassination
    Things don't always go according to plan.
  2. The Second Try
    History repeats itself.
  3. First Contact
    The harrowing story of Frank Spade.
  4. Opportunity Knocks
    Frank gets his chance.
  5. So ***ed.
    To put it bluntly: Frank is so ***ed.
  6. Something
    Falling, falling, falling.
  7. How Could This Happen To Me?
    Frank compares his life to a song by Simple Plan.
  8. Gerard's Savior
    Hug!
  9. Things Have Changed For Me, And That's Okay
    Revelations, and ***s.
  10. One Way Or Another I'm Gonna Find Ya
    Oh god, I'm so sorry about this.
  11. What Makes A Monster?
    Soul searching and shit.
  12. Boop
    Pain relievers and bullets.
  13. I Can't Think of A Chapter Name
    Oh come on, you all know this isn't the last Frank will be seeing of Gerard.
  14. The Stupidity is Strong With This One
    Okay guys we have about 363 days until Patrick Stump's birthday.
  15. This is the Chapter You've Been Waiting For
    You're Welcome.
  16. Two Assassins and a ***head
    Frank doesn't like cops.
  17. I’ll Sit At Home and Refine the Person I Want to Be
    I've been waiting for so long tow rite this chapter.
  18. New Leaf
    Snooping through Gerard's stuff.
  19. I’m Not Going to Lie to You, This Is Porn
    Duuuuuuuude this is, like, really long.
  20. Trust Exercises
    Frank doesn't know what to believe.
  21. Shit Goes Down
    Sorry about all these damn cliffhangers.
  22. The Inevitability of a Visit from the Reaper
    This one is kind of dejected but I think it's well written.
  23. Drowning Lessons?
    Cheesy ass chapter name.
  24. Impossible is Really Only For Weaklings
    I mean, obviously he was going to survive.
  25. Sleepy Frankie
    Pretty self explanatory.
  26. I'm In Lesbians With You
    I hope you appreciate my Scott Pilgrim reference.
  27. Kind of a Filler Chapter That Leads Into a Really Important Chapter
    What can I say it's kind of a filler chapter that leads into a really important chapter.
  28. The Innocence of Michael James Way
    Mikey's innocent and Frank's set out to prove it.
  29. ***ing Swooned
    They're determined to clear Mikey and also Frank swooned.
  30. Shoot Straight
    Well this is kind of an important chapter.
  31. Breaking in Bad
    Breaking and taking.
  32. Don't Wanna Give Anything Away But You Will Find Out Who The Bad Guy is Either Next Chapter Or After
    Dun dun... DUN!
  33. The Legacy of a Dead Poet
    Remind me never to piss off Frank.
  34. And At Last I See the Light
    And it's like the fog has lifted.
  35. Spero che vi divertiate quando si traducono questo vi figlio di puttana
    The statistical probability that someone is going to be ***ed sometime in the near future.
  36. The Inevitability of Getting Shot
    Important character introduction.
  37. Expect the Inevitable
    Probably the most fun I've had writing a chapter in this whole story.
  38. A New Turn of Events
    I killed Frank.
  39. I Just Wanted To Hold You in My Arms
    Gerard’s a pervert and Frank likes stars.
  40. Nothing Really Happens Here
    !Read this please!, basically I bought the new Nancy Drew game and I'm going to play it until I'm done so I may not update for a few days, which is why I'm giving you two updates today.
  41. Discussions About the Crude
    desCRIPTION
  42. Making it Work
    ***ing smut. Literally.
  43. I Don't Love You
    This was honestly so hard to write.
  44. I ***ed Up
    Sometimes before it get's better the darkness gets bigger.
  45. As We Have Discussed in A Different Story, Pride is For Children and Also Lions
    Some people are nice which is great!
  46. It Was Like A Time Bomb Set Into Motion
    We knew that we were destined to explode.
  47. Giant Fluffy Mass of Fluff
    Damn, look at all that fluff.
  48. Hope That Last Chapter Was Sufficiently Fluffy Because You Will NOT Like the One After This
    *Ahem* Rage Against the Machine. The plot of this chapter may be based off my desire to make that joke.
  49. It's All Downhill From Here
    Just imagine a really fast-paced instrumental song to go along with this chapter.
  50. Into the Woods (See What I did There?)
    Chapter fifty woot woot!
  51. A Story In Your Head, But That's Okay
    When I find myself in times of trouble... Matt Smith comes to me.
  52. How to Fire A Gun
    It was so cute picturing Gerard in this chapter.
  53. Kind of awwww, and Also Kind of AHHHHHHHH!
    Steeling cars, and public acts of lewdness.
  54. Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, There’s No Smut in This Chapter
    Lots of fluff though.
  55. Drive My Car (Look at that Beatles Reference)
    Yeah this is static, because I'm working on typing the last four chapters which are all vastly important.
  56. There is Not an Avatar the Last Airbender Reference in This Chapter.
    Actually there might be.
  57. Where Did the Gerard Go?
    Things are going to get more exciting now, I guess?
  58. The Wrong Way
    Someone’s in danger, it’s just not the person you’re expecting it to be.
  59. Equalizing Leverage
    I think you'll like this chapter actually.
  60. Nah, Too Simple
    Logically this chapter had to come next. I mean, I couldn’t make it that easy, could I?
  61. Trade Mistakes? No, Sorry Too Cheesy.
    Negotiations gone awry.
  62. You Can Say All These Beautiful Things, but They Don't Mean Nothing
    This chapter is ***ing heartbreaking. Legitimately cried a bit writing this.
  63. Famous Last Words
    I am so sorry.
  64. [Insert Beatles Joke Here]
    Will you still need me, will you still read me, when I get to sixty four chapters?
  65. Looky Here, Another Cliffhanger? What a Shocker!
    Frank gives a lesson in rare psychological reactions.
  66. Make It Rough
    Because I am a sadist, I tortured Frank.
  67. If I Just Lay Here
    Gerard to the rescue!
  68. The Penultimate Chapter
    There’s really no words for this one.
  69. The Enigma’s Anomaly
    This is the end.
  70. Epilogue: Or the One Where Two ***ing Dorks Are Being ***ing Adorable
    What it says on the tin. No, but seriously, I'm crying uploading this because I can't believe this is it.