Heart's Desire

•Saturday•

I haven't told Carter that I am bringing my ex boyfriend to the ball. Hell I did not even told him about Damon. I haven't seen Carter's bad side yet.

The soft kind I have seen.

The sexual side I have seen.

The drunk side I have seen.

But not his dark side.

I have been told that I make a small thing into a huge one; this time it is a big deal. As I dress myself dramatic music were playing in my head.

Was this to revealing? I stroll to the long mirror in my dorm room gazing at my reflection; my short black scoop neck dress with long sleeves was sitting perfectly, I never wore this dress I did not even know I had it in my closet led alone in my life.

I turn my head slowly seeing the diamond face piece on the drawer, being in disguise should not bring out the bad side in Carter right? Maybe he won't even recognize me.

The clip I release let my hair fall down my shoulders; grabbing the mask I tried it on only to see my pouty red lips and flush cheeks. My eyes covered.

Looks good.

A knock on the door raised me up from perdition. That must be Damon. "Come in!"

The door cracks open as I see it opens in the mirror's reflection.

"You look amazing." Damon says softly.

I turn around and my lungs has escape. "You clean up good."

Damon will fit in perfectly; black shirt dress tugged into his black trousers. In his hand is a white mask. "Phantom of the Opera really Damon?" I ask with my brow arch.

He step forward flinging the mask to and fro. "As I recall it is your favorite movie."

He remembers. "It is yes."

Damon rolls up his sleeve as he gaze down at his white watch. "We should get moving, you ready?"

Am I? I can ditch it? But than Carter will be pissed... Scratch that he will be furious point and blank.

"Of course I am."

•~•

I fell into Romeo and Juliet world, my eyes wonder around the great hall seeing people wearing masks hiding their true identity, laughing and drinking. The orchestra was set on the stage as a man waves his arms around to the women and men playing their instruments. The trumpets set higher making me block out the beating of my heart.

I turn to Damon who has a smirk on his facade as a young mask blonde woman walk passed us. Looks like he did not forget his weary ways. My handbag was tighten around my arm as I put on my mask.

My escort lift up his hand and I place mine softly on his. Both of us taking a huge sigh before entering the world of high class partying.

I have been raised in this life style, but I never fitted it, I was always the girl in the corner sitting with red punch tumbler in her hands eyeing the floor waiting till someone talks to me. Now I am here with someone on my arm, a gorgeous man and not to mention my ex boy friend who broke my virginity.

"Drink?" He asks grabbing two glasses from the waiter's gold plate. He hands me one and chimed mine with his. "Here's to a new start."

More like ending. "Yes." I sip my sparking wine or so it taste, gracefully. My inner goddess screaming at me to go find Carter, but to my surprise I have not seen him yet. I don't even know what mask he is wearing.

"Jessica?" I twirl around finding myself in front of a tall boy with a white teeth grin.

"Mathew?" Carter's little brother.

"Yes," he laughs tapping his sliver diamond mask. "I thought I was invisible."

A hand was place on my back knowing its Damon. I should introduce him. "Matt this is my-" date? Boyfriend? Ex? "This is Damon. Damon this is the host and the hostess son Matthew."

They exchange firm handshakes complimenting each other on another's masks. Here I thought only girls do that at balls like this.

A few minutes of laughter between I, Damon and Matthew the room became crowded and all eyes were to the door.

I turn my head slowly to see who these people were staring at. It was a man in a black three piece suit; his black trousers sitting high as his stretchers hold them up. the red dress shirt he is wearing pulled out, guessing it was tugged in seeing its wrinkled.

What caught my eye was the skinny black head next to him wearing a knee high silver dress with gold stilettos her shiny hair in a high bun and her mask complimenting the high cheek bones she has. Her theme was gold and money.

Mine was depressed and gothic. Like always.

"Looks like brother found him self an escort." Matt snorted returning his focus back to I and Damon.

"Your brother?" I ask puzzled. "Carter, that's him?"

Matt nods pushing his hands in his trousers pockets. "You wanna hit something stronger?" He ask my date.

Isn't Matt eighteen? And he wants something stronger? Hell I need something that should keep me off the dance floor and certainly away from Carter.

"Sure, be right back." Damon says patting me on the shoulder hard enough that I almost spill my drink, without even seeing if I am okay he walks away with Carter's little brother to the red and black theme bar counter on the other side of the ball room great hall.

A date always stood u up. A best friend would stay by your side. I just wish it was Mandy by my side and not my ex.

"Dear!"

"Mrs. Jenkins." I breathed giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you so much for being here."

I nod with a weak smile. "Sure."

"Come meet some friends of mine."

Am I now my mother? Meeting people twice the age I am? What shall we talk about? Not boys and clubs that's for sure.

"Marina Barker, this is Jessica Lawson." The very tall woman turns around casting a shadow over me making me step back a few feet away.

"I see," her accent was pure russian. "Beautiful just like her mother yes?"

Was that a statement or a question? Better yet should I answer her and not try to toot my horn at the same time? Its going to sound like that if I say yes. Knowing me. I am not beautiful. The easiest way was just to say "thank you Madam Barker."

"Carter Dear!" The russian giant bellows.

My eyes grew wide under my mask as I gulp the remaining glass of wine into my mouth swallowing it just as quickly.

"Miss. Barker," I hear him say. Don't turn around. Don't turn around. Replying the mantra in my head. 'He knows its you' my inner goddess sings. "Mother."

"Carter honey you remember Jessica." That is my queue to turn around.

I slowly turn my body around, away from russian Giant to be caught my two piercing blue eyes staring at me. His face instantly softens as mine hardens.

"Mr. Grey, always a pleasure." I mummer. The waiter saved me as I pulled another glass of sparkling wine off the golden plate. I don't like it but its the only thing that's keeping me brave and not want me to hide and run into the busy streets of LA looking like a physcopath in a black evening gown. People already suspect I am crazy I don't want to be considered a freak as well. Even though deep down inside I know I am.

"You look beautiful Jessica." He says softly as his grip looses from the skinny girl next to him.

"Thank you."

"Who might you be?" Carter's mother snaps towards her son's date.

"Mother this is Ronda Smith. She is a model for Victoria Secret." Carter's lips turn into a thin hard line as he answers his mother.

"Here I thought Victoria's secret hired people with actual style and not barbie's that was made in China," Mrs. Jenkins snaps. Oh that must of burn. "Here," she points to me. "That's Victoria secrets. Meat on bones." She kissed my cheek and strolled back to Russian Giant.

Ronda or whatever her name is looked stunned behind her mask. That must of hurt so bad.

"She did not mean it." I stated waving my two glasses to and fro.

"That I am pretty or that you are." Great a French girl. Well she has... I don't know everything that I don't including an accent.

"There you are." Someone says before I could answer the model.

I turn my head seeing Damon with a smile, he came up to me rapping his arm around my waist tugging me to him as he kiss my cheek long and hard.

I turn back to Carter who has no emotion on his face. "Damon this is my english professor Mr. Grey. Mr. Grey this is Damon an old fri-"

"boy friend. Actually ex boyfriend." Damon reeks of alcohol and I with guilt.

"I see. Have a good night." Carter snaps but with a soft smile.

Carter slowly walks pass me sending shivers down my spine. "Back alley. Ten minutes." He whispers, a whisper that does not sound sweet or calm but demanding and controlling.

"Wanna dance?" Damon asks wiggling his arms around like a headless chicken.

"I need to use the powder room. Excuse me for a moment." I twirl around passing trough the people practically picking up paste.

"I am in so much trouble." I say to myself reaching the back alley door.

'Gee you think! Huge mistake bringing your ex!" My inner goddess snaps at me.

She is right. It was a mistake. Now I have to pay the price.

Yet again in a damn alley!