Heart's Desire

After the ball I and Carter made our way to bed, popping his back to the headboard as he pulled out a novel by Stephen King out of his drawer. When was i supposed to suck? Was he just kidding with me?

i walk slowly walk to the edge of the bed removing my dress, Carter so gracefully let me borrow one of his shirts... even though it fits like a dress. i slowly climbed in punching the pillow, "What are you doing?" he asks not looking away from his novel.

"getting comfortable."

"No, you are abusing the poor pillow." Amusement lit his eyes and curved his mouth, "Do you always do it?"

"Yep, since i was a little girl." i answer resting my head on the white pillow that smelled like the man i am lying next to.

"You sure beat me up." He mummers placing his book back in the drawer.

"No i don't." i smiles.

He grinned pulling me on top of him, i wrap my arms around his neck biting my lower lip. "Kiss me Professor"

I press my cleft against the hard ridge of his hard erection making him groan. "i thought you would never ask." He kissed me passionately and stopped, than and there his eyes darken and i saw that expression before; when he saw me with Damon.

"what is Damon to you?" Oh i am so dead on, i knew he would try and ruin this moment.

"He was my high-school boyfriend. A mistake."

"Than or now?"

"What does it matter?" i ask with eye brow arch.

"Do you still want him Jessica?" What sort of question is that?

"No," i whisper. "i don't want him, i just want you, i wan't you so bad it hurts."

His eyes closed and his head fell back. "I can still not get the image out of my head, Jesus Jessica than guy was in you," Oh no he did not just say that to me, i cringed away from his tone getting off him. i turn my head slowly towards Carter with a bitter expression. He straighten suddenly, rubbing his finger roughly across my lips. "He had your mouth long before me,"

"Carter that was a long time ago."

"Was is?"

How can i convince him that i am over Damon? Maybe?.... Sucking? i did done it before, twice already with Damon... But maybe with that i can convince him?

Dropping everything i had in my thoughts, i surged between his legs unbuckle his fly leaving my man shocked. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

"This is yours," i plead touching my lips. "Not anyones."

Without waiting for his permission i rushed to get to him.

Then and there is amazing big erection was in my hand, throbbing making me wet. i never had control and now; i won't think Carter will let me be in control. Seeing i know him now, he don't show rage in public, he shows it in the bedroom, and i am sure he will fuck me till i say to him he should go fuck him self. but i deserve it right? i lower my mouth around his head circling my tongue around it, milking him tasting as the pre-cum drips in my mouth. i feel him coil tight and there i know i should go deeper and harder, showing Carter what i am really made off.

My mouth was working so hard my jaw clenched but i just keep on going, closing my eyes tight wanting this moment to last. He did not give me any warning, non the less i felt the white juicy semen burst into my mouth . He made no sound; like an exam i his student yet again and he the professor. i push myself up and for a moment my inner goddess ran away with her suitcases, she saw his eyes and she was terrified.

"Take it off, all of it." He orders harshly. As always i did what he commands. i remove my shirt and my panties being yet again naked in front of this God. As i sit on top of him he caught my hips. "Are you wet for me?"

"Yes."

"Why did you invite him to the Ball?"

The subject change so dramatically it hit me on the head, figuratively. "I don't know, he was just there."

His eyes grew darker which lead me to runaway-town with my goddess. he thrust into me making me groan. I Let the first inch came inside me, no hassle. But i had no choice if i want to satisfy his needs. i slammed my hips down closing my eyes as Carter is now fully deep in me, all of his is in me. "Fuck are you insane!" He bellows, well from pleasure he is not the one who is hurting now, i am.

"Why are you punishing me?" i moaned.

"You earned it, brining your ex to my family's gathering, you knew this would happen Jessica." he grumbles pushing his hips up to me pushing even deeper even though there is not space inside me. "What do you want?"

There the pain was unbelieving. i am not saying anything to satisfy him anymore, he is blaming me for something that i know, i was not responsible off. "Fuck you." i spat out trying to pull him out of me.

"Thats the idea." he grins twirling me around making me smash on the bed, he now in control.

He throbs into me again, and again and again making me scream his name. My eyes squeezed tight, my hands in fists.

"Did," he trust into me. "You," Again, "Love," and again. "him?"

Yes, i did not love him. he was my first, i burst into tears as my orgasm build and i exploded, he filled me up screaming my name. Why would Carter ask me that,

"get off me." i beg.

His arms came next to me like a barrier. "Answer me."

"i hate you." i snap with tears in my eyes.

"I know you do, answer me did you love him?"

"Yes, but not anymore." i sob through my words.

"angel," he sighs kissing my neck up to my lips. "i don't want anyone but you, and if you love another man, i am not sure i can take it,"

"I love you Carter."

There he stilled. His eyes wide on what i just said. "What?"

"You just hurt me but for some reason i can't leave, i hate you for what you did to me now, but i love you so much it hurts."

His face turned pale; without saying anything he rolls off me giving me my shirt. "I will take you home."

"Do you want me gone?"

He shook his head. "No, but like you said now, i hurt you. i take my frustration out in sex i don't wanna hurt you."

i pull myself up but fall down again, for the first time in a long time i feel sore, like i have ran the marathon, my legs gave up and so did my heart. "I am not going."

He twirled around and help put on my shirt.

i lay down again with Carter next to me, both our eyes on the ceiling not looking at one another. "I am sorry." he whispers.

this is time i take control and it seem my goddess has returned from her mini- vacation. "You are the last person who i thought who would hurt me," a soft sigh escape my lips as i reach for his hand. "Don't do that again please."

"Than give me a safe word."

Was he that bad at controlling his emotions through sex? "Grey."

He turned to me and nod. "I will be right back," He stumble out of bed, than i realize he still had his shirt on, he zip up his pants and walked out the room.

i turn my body towards the wall pulling the sheet up to my head. I close my eyes and just wished this could of been a dream. What is going on with Carter, is this the side i have been aching to see?

'Well you have got what you asked for' My inner Goddess mumbles sitting in her chair playing with my heart.

It is true. but i am scared now. Not of Carter but what person he will make me to be.