I Can Be Your Everything

I opened my eyes expecting to be some where entirely different, as if me going home was surreal. I had to pinch myself just to make sure it wasn't. Sure enough I was lying in my bed staring up at my ceiling. Stretching my legs and arms I look at the small clock on my bed side table, 08:23. Time to go see Dan so he'll hopefully forgive me. Dan is my favourite lecturer, he's always there when I needed someone to speak to when I missed home and wanted to give it all up. He truly wasn't just a teacher he was my friend who I loved and trusted. I stared at my phone which sat next to clock. I hadn't looked at it yet and I was terrified to look at it, expecting to see messages from angry friends and family but there was nothing. My heart sank, nobody really gave a shit anymore. I slammed the phone down hard and got up out of bed throwing my clothes and doing my make-up halfheartedly my hair looked unbrushable so I just tide it back in a pony tail away from my face. I ran to the bathroom quickly brushing my teeth. I quickly gave myself a once over and headed to the front door.

"Bye Jen!", I yelled out.

"No coke binges and I've booked you a hair appointment!", She hollered back as I slammed the door shut. Running down the stairs and out the main door. It wasn't raining which I was thankful for. As I walked through the parks and small streets I came across the coffee shop. Val entered my thoughts, I missed her and I hated that I hurt her. She deserved better than me. I looked through the window scamming the room to see if I could spot some familiar faces but there was no one I knew. No Steph, no David and no Todd. I sighed and left heading my way to the large building which held the music department where I'd find Dan. I took long strides up the short steps, pushing past the slow walkers.

"Hey Effie!"

"Where have you been!?", I heard as I quickly walked to the doors.

"Hey guys, Scotland! Sorry I'm in a rush". I lied as I pushed the swinging doors forward, running towards the percussion room. I stopped at the door taking a deep breath. I was nervous and I wasn't entirely sure of how my presence would be taken. I took a step forward gripping the handle, pushing the door open making myself known. Everyone stared at me, some face filled with shock others filled with annoyance.

"Well look who decided to show up." A voice spoke loudly from the back of the room.

"Hey Dan.", I replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck hanging my head in shame.

"Take a seat, and wait after class." I quickly hurried to one of the empty seats at the front as he continued with his lecture. His voice was so comforting but every time he looked at me his eyes were so angry. Here's hoping this class drags in.

~~~~

"Zacky, I can't believe you let her go just like that! Do you not care about her at all!", Val shouted through my door. I was becoming intensely agitated at her. I stood from my bed and opened the door roughly.

"Of course I care but I can't keep her here, everything was just too insane," I replied, looking down at her with sad eyes. I missed my Effie and I wanted her here but it was too much for anyone to handle, she deserved the best and I was certainly not. I was on par with being okay but that was it.

"But what about you? Don't you miss her at all? Because it sure seems like you don't care!"

"Val, leave him alone." Matt's yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Only he knew what I was feeling right now. I hated myself with every fiber of my body and I'm sure the others weren't too happy with me either.

"No I want answers Matthew!", She angrily replied, I could hear Matt ascending the stairs. I walked back into my room picking up my car keys. "Where are you going? I'm not done with you yet." She reached out to pull me back but I dodged her leaving the pair standing at my door. Being alone helped me concentrate and clear my head. Leaving the house, the sun belted across my skin. My car sat out baking in the sun so it was going to be hot as hell. I pulled the car door opening and sat on the leather seat, whipping it shut. It was damn near impossible so I turned on the AC turning it to the coldest setting possible. Igniting the ignition, I drove hastily away from all the bullshit I created. It was easy to leave but it was going to be impossible to face going back. I pushed my car to the limit making it leap through the dirt road. I was headed for a remote place on the beach, one which was hardly visited by any. Something I was extremely thankful for. The car halted to a stop and I sat with my hands still firmly placed on the wheel, staring out at the sea. Effie never left my mind. Always taunting me. I rested my head against my hands.

"Why did I do this to her?" I couldn't even answer my own question, why did I have to be such a dickhead? I ached for her and I couldn't live without seeing her. The wheel began cracking and I lifted my head, without knowing I had been squeezing it so hard I left my own finger prints. Getting out, I sat on the hood lighting a cigarette, inhaling deeply.

"Y'know those are bad for you." I looked around and noticed a teenager standing with her dog who was tugging on his lead so hard just to come over to say hello. She had bright green hair an looked around 17.

"God I never knew that!", I exclaimed with a fake shocked expression. She narrowed her eyes at me and her dog had finally gotten his way jumping up at me as I knelt down next to him patting his head and rubbing his ears, "Nice dog."

"Yeah Fred's pretty cool." I raised and eyebrow.

"You named your dog Fred?".

"Yeah what about it?", She challenged.

"Nothing I just thought he looked more like a Peter." Fred responded with a loud bark. "See? he agrees with me."

"Whatever. What are you doing out here alone? I thought nobody came out here." She quizzed me, trying to suss me out.

"Kid have you never heard of stranger danger? Didn't you parents teach you not to talk to strangers?", I stood back up relighting my cigarette, leaning back on my car.

"You can answer a question with a question." She folder her arms and letting Fred off his lead, which as soon as he got off he ran as fast as his little legs would take him.

"Came to clear my head I guess." I shrugged, again inhaling deeply.

"Mind if I bum one off you?", I shook my head laughing lightly giving her one out of my pocket an tossing my lighter at her. "So what's on your mind then?"

"You're quite forward aren't you? And don't you know those things are bad for you?", She mimicked me shrugging, "Just to get away from everything."

"Is it a girl?"

"Jesus Christ kid."

"Well is it?" I nodded.

"Just tell her you're sorry and she'll forgive you. Buy her a gift, be spontaneous." She waved her arms dramatically.

"I wish it was the simple." She shook her head in protest.

"It is, just be nice and loving and she'll eventually forgive you." She took one last draw and threw it away, "Well it was nice speaking to you I have to run and catch Fred before he decides to run away for real, it was nice meeting you..."

"Zacky" I smiled at her.

"Zacky take care."

"You too kid." I watched her walk away, wishing to be that age again, with not a care in the world, doing whatever the fuck I wanted. Ring ring, ring ring. I dug my phone out my pocket, it was Johnny.

Dude you have to get back here now

"Why what's up?"

It's gone

"What do you mean?" I demanded.

The shape shifter, she's gone

~~~~

"Dan I'm so so sorry." I was sitting in Dan's office pleading him to forgive me.

"Where did you go Effie? You just disappear without warning. I asked your friends where you were but they gave me so bullshit excuse saying they didn't know." I jumped as he yelled at me. "Look at you, what the hell happened? You're jittery, you look pale and thinner and you never sit down to someone yelling at you." Dan leaned his knuckles against his wooden desk. "Tell me, did you go home to visit your family? Or is that a big fat lie too?" I hated lying to him, he didn't deserve this.

"I can't tell you."

"If you don't you are off the course. You repeatedly missed class, and you gave us no warning of your absence." Fuck, he was threatening me. I had to make up something or else.

"Okay, okay I'll tell you." I hung my head. "I ugh, a severe case of thrush."

"Oh my god Effie, why are you lying to me!?".

"Because if I could tell I would but I can't I really can't and I'm sorry please just let me stay? We don't have long left and I need this." I pleaded with him, I stood up and went around the desk, my hoodie slipped from my shoulder. "I'll never ask you for anything again just please?" I gripped his shoulders. He looked at my exposed shoulder, his face contorting in anger as I pulled the piece of clothing around my body tighter,

"What have you done Effie?" He took a step back from me. "Tell me now!",

"I never done anything." I replied quietly. He watched me retreat back into myself.

"Do you understand what that thing means you stupid girl."

"You have no idea what's happened Dan so shut the fuck up and stop shouting at me! I don't need you on my back so you can ram your shitty course up your ass!" I exploded, I had, had enough with his crap but I never meant to be that nasty. I looked at his shocked face and then walked out of his office. Fuck him.

The walk home was quick and gave me no time to calm down at all, I was still incredibly angry at everything that had happened. As soon as I stepped into my flat something was off the TV was static and Jen's paper work was scattered on the floor. I heard a small cry from the bathroom, I cautiously walked to my destination. Jen on the floor covered in blood with her face swollen like she had been attacked.

"Jen!", She looked behind me with fear in her eyes. I turned around slowly to be faced with a woman who looked extremely familiar. I was looking at myself.