Say You'll Never Change

JOSH'S POV:

I actually got Oliver outside and it went better than I expected. I thought that we would have to go out and go back home during the movie but he made it through the whole movie. I was really proud of him. I knew that it was hard for him to be around other people and I just hope that he would see now that maybe it isn't so bad after all. Maybe he would consider actually doing this more. I wouldn't mind but I couldn't push him into doing something that was stressing him out. It was all about taking slow steps. Maybe in 2 weeks or so I could make him go outside with me again.

The next day Max called me and asked if I wanted to come over. I for a second almost answered that I was going to just stay home with Oliver instead but then again I missed Max, we hadn't talked in a while. But I didn't wanna just leave Oliver here. Maybe he could come with me? Anyway I answere yes and then after hanging up I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa next to Oliver. He had his eyes glued to the phone and didn't raise his head when I sat down but I knew that he knew that I was there. I know that it wasn't to be rude or anything so it didn't really feel like that.
"Max called" I said, causing him to raise his head and look at me, urging me to continue "He asked if I wanted to come over"
"You should" he said and nodded with the hint of a smile on his lips.
"Do you wanna come?" please say yes.
Oliver quickly turned his head away and shook his head. It was like he got shy just thinking about it.
"Maybe some other time" he said "but you should go anyway, I don't wanna take your friends away from you"
Maybe some other time.
That was still good enough for me. That means that I could force him to join me the next time. Ok maybe not force him but you know what I mean.
"Aren't you gonna be lonely here all by yourself?" He was all alone when I was at work but still.
"I'll be fine" he said, now looking at me again.
Guess I'll be meeting up with Max alone then.

-

Just a couple of seconds after I had knocked on the door to Max's appartment he opened up with a smile on his face. It was almost as if he had been there waiting for me to come. But that would be kind of weird so that was probably not the case.
"I'm glad you could make it" he said and stepped to the side to let me in.
We ended up sitting in his bedroom, me listening to him strumming his guitar. Max was a great guitar player but he didn't really think he was so whenever people asked he would tell them that he sucked. It was a shame really, he could probably go far if he was in a band or something 'cause he had talent. I laid down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling like I usually did when I listened to him play but something was just different today. He was acting different. He seemed nervous. He would look at me longer. He joked as if he was trying too hard. I wanted to ask him what was up but decided that if he didn't speak to me about it first I wouldn't ask. I had tried to tell him what was wrong a couple of times in the past and it had only made him angry so it was better not to.
"Josh, there's something I need to tell you" he said and put down his guitar. I sat up on the bed again and faced him, noticing how serious he sounded. When he met my eyes he quickly looked down on his hands that he had placed in his lap. Now I was really wondering what was up.
"Please don't get mad at me" he said nervously.
Uh-oh. This couldn't be good.
"I won't" I said "I promise"
There were a couple of seconds of silence before he spoke again.
"I know this may come as a shock to you since I have had girlfriends before but there was always this guy that I have always had feelings for even when I had those girlfriends. I just chose to push those feeling away" he said and I just stared at him "Josh, I think I'm gay"
oh.
"Okay" I just said and nodded, not sure what to say. Why would I be mad at him for being gay? He knew that I was gay.
"The guy is you" he then said, catching me off guard "I like you Josh, as more than a friend"
Well fuck.
What do I do now?
"I have a boyfriend" I awkwardly said and he looked up at me, quite shocked.
"Who?" he asked.
"His name is Oliver" I just said and immidietly felt bad for Max. He had just confessed he liked me and of course I was going to throw this I-have-a-boyfriend thing in his face. Not that I would date him even if I was single, he was a great guy but I have never really had those feelings for him.
"Wait, is that the guy who had a dying brother?" he asked and I just nodded awkwardly.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" he yelled and I flinched at his sudden anger but didn't say anything. Why the fuck would I tell him that I had a boyfriend? It's not like I needed to tell my friends everything. It's not like I knew that he liked me and would tell me.
"You shouldn't be with anyone else!" he yelled "You should be with me!"
He looked upset now and it honestly hurt me. I didn't want to lose our relationshit but what the fuck could I do.
I didn't have time to react before his lips crashed onto mine and was kissing me with hunger. I quickly put my hands on his chest and tried to push him off of me but he took my wrists and pushed me down onto the bed. Oh fuck. Please don't.
Before I could kick him with my legs he had nailed me down with his entire body and I couldn't move. I squirmed underneath him which only made him hold me down harder. I couldn't deny that I was panicking now. What the fuck was he doing?
"I'm going to make you see what you're missing out on" he said as his lips pulled away from mine for a second only to yank my t-shirt over my head. When I had my arms free I took all I had and punched him right in the face but it only ended with him punching me. And again. And again. Until everything went black.

--

OLIVER'S POV:

Things were getting really late and I wondered when Josh would be home. I didn't wanna be a clingy boyfriend but I still really wanted to call him and ask him when he was coming home. It was getting dark out and I wanted to fall asleep next to him.
I sighed and sat down on the couch. There's not much I could do really than wait.

2 hours later the door opened and Josh walked in. He looked exuasted and bruised?
I was quick to get on my feet and walk up to him.
"Why is there bruises on your face?" I panickly asked him and gently touched his right cheek.
"It's nothing" he just said and shrugged "we went out and walked by a gang and they wanted my phone but I wouldn't give it to them so they kind of beat us" he said and avoided my eyes. He looked nervous.
I wasn't sure if I believed him.
"They got the phone anyway" he laughed quietly and turned away from me, taking off his shoes.
That's when I noticed.
Hickeys.
All over the left side of his neck.
Those were not fighting bruises.
Those were hickeys.
"What's that?" I asked quietly and he turned his head to me in confusion. "On your neck"
He raised his eyebrows before walking to the bathroom and probably checking it out in the mirror.
"Uh just bruises" he nervously said before walking past me and into the bedroom "Got into a fight"
"Those look like hickeys" I replyed coldly.
I was tearing up on the inside. Who put those hickeys on him? Why would he let someone do that? Would he really cheat on me? What did I do wrong?
"They're not, I promise" he replyed from the bedroom "Don't worry about it"
This could not be happening. Was he cheating on me with Max.
"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight" I just said before walking past him and grabbing my pillow.
This could not be happening.