Red Is for Traitor

Arawn being part of the Moonshadow pack was torture. I was beyond thrilled that he was awake and from what Trista tells me fine, but not being able to see him and knowing he was awake was terrible. Even when we lived in the city and he worked long hours studying to take over Ferguson's business, I knew at the end of the day I was able to see him. He was my confidant, my only best friend in a world that seemed to despise me. Honestly, I was more lonely now than when Arawn slept the days away. At least then I could talk to him and pretend he was listening. His presence soothed me in a way I did not know I needed. Now sitting or working in the cottage alone made me feel insignificant and depressed.
To busy myself I ended up walking the forest more. It was pleasant and gave me a distraction for a while, but whenever I returned I was always reminded that no one was there to greet me. This was why I never wanted ties to anyone. I could not miss what I never had. My twin was the only one I really ever allowed to get through my defenses and here it was coming back to bite me. The one person I trust and care for the most is gone for an undermined amount of time.
Becoming frustrated with myself, I grabbed my cloak, basket, and headed outside. I looked up to see the sun halfway through its descending journey. I debated at first whether or not I should wander the woods alone when night was only a few hours away. Then I decided I did not care. I needed the calming of the forest now more than ever. And so I began my wandering with no set path in mind. I came to the stream where I usually brought Zane and sat on a large rock to watch the world around me. My shoulders slumped as families of birds, rabbits, chipmunks, deer, and other familiar animals ran around with their young. I fell back frustrated with myself. This was not me, I could stand on my own ground. I never needed someone else to be happy... yet the more I thought about how independent and 'uncaring' I was about being alone, I realized it was because I never truly was. On the outside and to people who did not know me, they saw a woman with no friends and a family that did not like her. A young woman who was alone and never seemed to care. A woman who did not fit society's norms. Yet if someone looked close enough there was a shadow of a figure that always stood by. Someone that gave me the confidence to stand up and be different because I knew deep down that person always would be there for me no matter how stupid or stubborn I acted. Now? Now that person was gone. Not permanently, but I finally understood what it meant to be truly, utterly alone in the world.
I gazed at the sky too absorbed in myself to realize someone walking towards me. I should have been paying more attention to the outside world, but I was too busy analyzing myself to do so. So when the person finally spoke, I shot up startled. "You shouldn't be out here alone."
Sitting up a little faster than I should (head rush, my old friend), I questioned, "Sindri?"
The wolf rolled his eyes impatiently, "Macha, what are you doing out here alone at this hour? It's nearly dark."
"I was contemplating life." His turquoise eyes glared at me. "It was not too far off." I defended with a huff. "I was thinking about... I needed to get away from the cottage for a while so I came out here. I lost track of time."
With softened eyes, Sindri held out his hand, "Come on, I'll walk you back."
"What if I do not want to go back?"
"You can't stay out here."
"Why not? I did as a child."
"You weren't alone." Sindri flinched when I turned away crestfallen. "Come on Red, I don't think anyone would appreciate you freezing to death. It may be early autumn, but the night are cold."
I chuckled at the nickname he had not used since finding out who I was. With a dramatic sigh I replied, "I suppose you are right, Zane would go mental without a human playmate." I sat up, taking Sindri's hand to jump off the boulder. Dropping my hand he lead me back to the cottage.
"Yes, I do not understand why though, humans are nothing but trouble." He leaned against the doorjamb, the moon casting light behind him.
"Yes, we are wicked things." I teased. "You know what they say though." Sindri raised a brow as I cracked a grin. "Like father, like son. You doomed your son the moment you let me be your playmate."
He hummed a reply as he once again rolled his eyes. He pushed off the door and before turning commented, "This time don't leave."
"Where would I go? I have no reason to this time around." A painful silence settled between us as the decade of separation irritated old wounds.
Clearing his throat, my friend said, "Now that you're home safe, I better head to the Den."
My arm shot out before he was able to turn, "How-" I bit my bottom lip and then continued, "How is Arawn doing?"
I knew Sindri could see the desperation in my eye but I did not care. "He's adjusting well for the most part. He is having trouble with the shift, but he is bonding well with the pack and he doesn't snap as much as some new wolves I've seen. He does get disoriented sometimes from his senses being heightened, but that'll fade with time."
"Good." I nodded, realizing my hand still encircled his bicep. I quickly withdrew it and straightened up. "Thank you for walking me home."
"Couldn't let a human with poor night vision walk home." He grinned teasingly at me. "Goodnight, Red." He turned and started the trot home.
"Good night, Wolf!" I shouted back with a smile. I chuckled as I walked inside and shut the door. Once inside however, the cottage felt too big and too small all at the same time.
After that night things changed. I did not really notice at first since I was used to Zane and Trista visiting off and on during the week. However, some of the other wolves would come by if Trista was unable to and on rare occasions Sindri would be the one to bring Zane. It was one such time when Sindri came that I narrowed my eyes and folded my arms. "Am I being babysat?"
This of coursed paused Sindri in his steps and he looked at me confused. "I don't understand. How can you be babysat when you are not a child?"
I rolled my eyes as I bent down to greet Zane, "I meant, is everyone coming over so much to watch me as if I was a child? Good afternoon Zane, how are you?"
"Good! I got play with Aw. We learned how to spok pwey." He grinned happily.
"Do you mean Stalk? Like you snuck up on it and pounced?" I ginned as I mimicked the action.
"Yeah!" His faced changed into concentration. "S-t-a-l-k-ed."
"Very good. Now tell me," I drew him in and in a stage whisper asked, "Did you beat my brother?"
"We got same. Two."
"Well, I believe that deserved a treat, no?" I winked as he cheered and ran towards the cottage door. I stood up and then directed my attention to Sindri. "You never answered my question."
"I wouldn't say we are 'babysitting' you. The pack doesn't want you to be lonely while Arawn is learning to be a wolf." He replied seriously.
My face became somber, "No one's ever thought about that before. Thank you." I shook it off however and as I passed grabbed a piece of his sleeve. "Come, Zane will grow restless and eat the berry cakes without us."
"Are they edible?" My friend looked at me wearily. "I don't want my son sick."
"And why would they not be edible?" I challenged, walking over to the cooling pastries.
"I've heard about and tasted the food you've made. It isn't exactly... good."
"I may not be able to cook, but I do know how to bake. Right, Zane?" I handed the pup a raspberry treat which he scarfed half of it down in one bite.
He purred out, "It yummy." Crumbs falling out of his over stuffed mouth.
"Zane, don't speak with food in your mouth." Sindri scolded, receiving the berry goodness.
"Sowy Poppa." Zane smiled before taking another bite.
"If he's sick tonight, you're dealing with him." Sindri warned before taking a hesitant bite. The dough was flakly, parts of it dropping to the floor. He made a surprised noise as he chewed. "This is really good."
"Told you." I smirked. "I hope it is not too sweet, I know you do not like particularly sweet treats."
"It's not." The older wolf looked at me strange before shaking it off. "What is it?"
"Barberry and Blackberry. The latter to off set the formers sour."
Sindri nodded before diverting his attention to his son. "Poppa, you try this one. It good."
Inhaling, Sindri did his fatherly duty and took a small bite. His face tried not to twist into disgust at how sweet his son's pastry was. "It's definitely something you would like."
The cub hummed happily as he finished the last of it. "Poppa, can I have nother one?"
"Not now. You'll spoil your lunch." Zane pouted up at his father.
"Zane, if you eat another one you won't be able to see the surprise I have in store for you." Almost completely forgetting about the dessert, Zane turned towards me with his mouth open in excitement.
"What is it?"
"Follow and you shall see." I ushered the two males outside and lead them towards the river. Sindri walked behind, while Zane told me everything and anything that happened during our time apart. I listened quietly and asked questions whenever he took a breath. When we made it to the clearing, Zane was telling me about chasing a particularly swift rabbit through the Den.
"What suprise?" If Zane had been shifted, his tail would have been zipping to and fro.
I looked up a tree and whispered, "You need to be quiet okay?" Zane nodded and kept his mouth shut. "Now, follow my instructions very carefully. First you and your Poppa need to walk over to that tree over there and stand near the second lowest branch." I pointed to the tree but kept my hand on his shoulder so he would dart away. "Next, you must nicely ask your Poppa to put you on his shoulders so you can see really high. Finally, carefully move the leaves away and you will see the surprise. However," I looked Zane right in the eyes so he knew I was serious. "Do not touch and you must be quiet. You may whisper, but do not shout. Okay?" Zane nodded and shook with energy ready to be spent. "Okay." The moment my hand left his body, Zane shot over to his father, took his hand, and walked over to the branch. I joined them right as Sindri straightened up. I watched as Zane carefully moved the leaves away and stared in wonder; his mouth hanging ajar. "Do you see them?" Too mesmerized to say anything, he slowly nodded his head.
"What is it?" Sindri asked unable to look up too much as Zane tried to lean in closer.
"Careful, Zane. They are Mistle Thrush chicks. Only a week or so hatched." I replied.
"Poppa," Zane whispered and poked his father's head. "I'm weady to come down." Sindri easily stepped back before swigging his son down. "Mak, that was... I liked it."
"I am glad. Now what shall we do?"
Zane's face morphed into deep thought, then he looked at his father and asked, "Can I play in the wivah?"
"Don't stray too far up or down stream." Zane yipped happily as he started taking off his clothes. "Zane, what are you doing?"
Midway through pulling down his pants, Zane paused and replied, "Swimming."
"You can't strip with Macha around." Sindri sometimes wanted to bash his head against a tree. Teaching kids proper social etiquette was one of the hardest things to do, especially to a pup.
"Why?" He cocked his head sideways confused.
"Let him be. Continue on Zane, show me how well you can control your shift." I smiled as Zane finished with his pants, threw them off to the side, and gracefully shifted to his wolf. He jumped around the clearing a little before splashing into the river.
"He's supposed to be learning not to strip in front of ladies." Sindri glared at me with little heat.
"I hardly count as one. Besides, if it is to keep me... pure that ship sailed long ago. As I have told you before, Arawn and I were no strangers to bathing together and whom do you think was the one to changed him as he slept indefinitely? I am no stranger to the male anatomy. Beside," I gave Sindri a sideways glance with a grin. "As I recall, when we played in the river we hardly wore clothes at all. You, Arawn, and you brothers did not even bother most of the time."
"Yes, and when mama found out she was unhappy for us tainting you."
I could not help but laugh, throwing my head back. "At least someone was looking out for me, I suppose. How long did it take her to find out?"
Sindri had to think a minute, "Around the seventh time we went for a swim I think."
"I was wondering why all of you started wearing shorts into the water!"
"She'd have skinned us alive."
"But what of your sisters?"
"They're pack, it's a little different."
"I suppose... though Arawn never really seemed to think about it when they came along."
"That did surprise me considering how... proper he was even as a kid."
"You know Arawn is comfortable around you when he has no quam stripping down to nothing in front of you. Oh dear." Just as Zane started shaking, I put up part of my cloak, shielding me from the onslaught of water that had clung to his fur.
"Zane!" Sindri yelled now dripping wet. Zane bent down and yipped playfully. His tail wagged as he made little growling noises with his tongue lolled out of his jaws. "You asked for it pup. Excuse me Macha, I must teach my son a lesson."
"This shall be quite a sight to see." I chuckled, lowering the cloak. As Sindri started pulling off his shirt, he looked at me pointedly. "Ah yes, mother's rage and all." I teased, bringing a hand up to cover my eyes. Once I heard a deeper growl than Zane's I dropped my hand to see a powerful wolf in the same playful stance as Zane's. A second later, Zane yipped and ran towards the river. Sindri of course followed but obviously using maybe a quarter of his strength and speed. I picked up Sindri's clothes and laid them next to Zane's before watching them rough house in the river. They started off terrorizing each other and then slowly shifted to Sindri teaching Zane how to catch fish as a wolf. The pup was clumsy and had no patience for the task, but he seemed to enjoy himself. An hour or so later, Sindri had managed to catch five fish, three of which he threw near me. Getting the hint, I built a small fire and began roast two of them. The other three Zane and Sindri ate raw; still in their wolf form.
The rest of the day was spent lounging around or watching the two wolves run around, sometimes dragging me into their game of tag. In the early evening, the three of us started the journey back to the cottage. I carried the clothes as Sindri and Zane walked as wolves. However, once we made it to the cottage, Sindri shifted (I turned my back of course) and tired to coax his son into also shifting. "Zane, you have to shift." His hand was on the side of his tired pup's face. Zane was too sleepy to exert that kind of energy.
"Will he be too heavy to carry if he stays as a wolf?" I asked watching Zane falling asleep while standing.
"No, it'll just be easier if he's human, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen tonight. Alright pup, up we go." He easily lifted his son who rested his head on his father's shoulder; eyes already closed. "Thank you for having us and showing Zane the chicks."
"It was no problem. Thank you for baby- keeping me company." I teased. "I will hold on to Zane's clothes since you have your arms full."
"That'd be great. I'd probably end up losing them along the way."
"Cannot have that. Goodnight Sindri and thank you. Goodnight Zane." Although I was pretty sure Zane was already asleep.
"Goodnight Red." Sindri gave a smile before turning and heading home. I watched until they disappeared from sight and then entered the cottage. I placed Zane's folded clothes in the chest and did some cleaning before going to bed. As I drifted to sleep I thought Damn, I was going to pawn the cakes off to them...