Look at Me

Rachel was not particularly feeling well the next day. She was over the fact that she was called names by Viktor's crazy ex. She decided not to fight her because she'll never stoop that low. She really was over it, but shy was she feeling down today?

She decided to roll out of bed and cook breakfast. There's nothing eggs and bacon won't fix. It was sunday so she does not have to go to work but she needs to feed to the kids anyway.

She was just setting down the plates of eggs and bacon when her kids appeared in the kitchen. It was obvious that they just woke up since their eyes were still practically shut. "Hi Oscar. Hi Alice! Good morning!"

"Hi Mom." Alice said as she scratched her eyes.

"You guys hungry?"

"Yes!" Oscar exclaimed.

"Well then, let's eat. I'm hungry too."

They ate in silence considering that the kids was still a bit sleepy and Rachel will throw up any time soon.

Rachel ran to the washroom. "Mommy! What happened?" Little Oscar had no idea what she was feeling.

"Stay on the table and continue eating, honey. I'm just felling a bit sick." Rachel said from the bathroom. She really did not know what was happening to her. Whenever she got sick, she would just take some medicine and it would be fine. She was feeling sick, in this case, for weeks now. It could only mean two things. First, what she had was more than a simple case of nausea. Or what's worse, she'd pregnant again.

She remembered the first time she was pregnant. She realized she was feeling the same. What she had gone through four years ago was the same today. She inhaled a deep breath. This could not be happening to her. Life was playing a hard joke.

She had to run to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test kit, a thing she'd never thought she'd do until she's married. Well, she was not sure yet so she'll never let the thought kill her yet.

She had to bring Alice and Oscar with her to the pharmacy since so one will look after them.

"Mom, where are we going?"

"We're just going to the pharmacy to pick up some... stuff." She bet they would not understand what a pregnancy test kit anyway.

This time, she bought just one. She quickly fled to the bathroom to take the test, knowing what to do from previous experience.She waited and waited. It feels like an eternity but it was in fact mere minutes.

The moment of truth arrived. There was two lines in the stick. She was pregnant again, with Viktor's baby. It must have happen the day that the kids first visited Viktor's family! For the second time in her life, she left like the world is crumbling beneath her feet. she felt like she should have learned her lesson the first time but she didn't.

The kids' custody was already in jeopardy and now, this pregnancy will just make matters worse for both Rachel and Viktor. Damn it. She decided that keeping her pregnancy a secret from Viktor the first time was a mistake. She wanted to do the right thing this time.

On the positive note, all her kids at least would have the same father. Besides, she would have another little angel in her life.

She stepped out of the bathroom. The kids were actually waiting for her outside the door. "Mommy, are you crying?". Alice asked her. She did not even realized that she was crying.

"Yes, honey. Tears of joy." More like tears of regret and fear, although there was definitely joy in there. "Guess what?" she continued.

"What?"

"How would you like a baby brother or a baby sister?" she just broke the news to her kids. Her kids practically beamed at her. Their mouths were wide open so were their eyes.

"Where going to have a baby brother!?" Oscar shouted her while jumping.

"We don't know if it's going to be a sister or a brother yet."

"I want a brother Mom!"

"No! I want a sister!" It was Alice who demanded a sister.

"Oscar, Alice, dear, we can't pick if it's going to be a sister or a brother. So just promise me you'll love her or him no matter what, ok?"

"Ok, Mom. We promise. When are we picking it up?" asked Oscar. It was funny because Rachel forgot that her kids had no idea of the concept of pregnancy. They actually thought you can just buy a baby. Bless their little minds.

"Oscar, we can'tjust buy babied from the store. The baby is actually in my tummy right now and it's still very little."

"Really?" Oscar stared at her tummy with awe.

"Yes."

"Why is she in your tummy, Mom?" Alice moved to touch Rachel's still flat stomach.

"It's just how it goes, dear." The kids continued asking her things about pregnancy, half of which were questions she doe snot know the answer as well.

Her kids were really adorable. She was lucky to have them. She was even luckier that her kids was not opposed to the idea of having a sibling. At least the baby would be loved by his or her older brother and sister. That was one less problem for Rachel

Later that day, they were in the living room. The kids were playing with their toys on the floor while Rachel was watching some sport on tv. She was not really into sports but there was nothing good on tv so she decided to stick with it. She was not a big fan of sports probably because she never play any sport, except for curling back in high school. She was the best skip in Minnesota back then.

She heard a her buzzer. There was someone. she was puzzled since she did not order a pizza and was never expecting anyone. Who could it be?

"Viktor... what are you doing here?" Was all she said after opening the door.

"I came here to check up on you and the kids as well."

"Come in."

"Thanks." after going inside, he continued. "How are you feeling? Are you still mad?"

"No. I was over it. I guess it was not your fault she was crazy. I just hoped you did not expose our kids to someone like her."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, babe." Not now Viktor. Rachel was not ready to face Viktor yet, especially after taking the test. Of course she was planning on telling him about her second pregnancy, it's just that she did not want to do it this soon. She was hoping for a perfect time to tell him, when he's in a good mood when he'll probably make good decisions and judgments.

"It's fine. So... yeah... I'm ok. Do you need anything else?" The tone in her voice told Viktor she did not want him there.

"Come one now, Rachel. I have to see the kids. Oscar! Alice!"

"Daddy!" The kids spontaneously dropped whatever was in their hands and ran to Viktor. They threw their hands up in the air. Now, Viktor knew what it meant. He picked Oscar and Alice up. One in each of his arms. Though he was fit, he found it a little hard carrying the two of them at the same time. They were growing up too fast and were a tad bit heavy. He's going to have to go back to the gym if he wants to keep on carrying his children.

"Hi Oscar and Alice, did you enjoy aunt Elizabetha's party last night?"

They wiggled their heads saying "no".

"Why? It was awesome." Viktor tried to convince his kids.

"Viktor, they're three. Do you really think they'd enjoy a formal party?" She was right. It looked like he had a lot of things to learn about kids before he could be a good father.

"Guess what, Daddy!" Viktor could see from Alice's eyes something was up.

"What, honey?"

"We're going to have a baby brother or a sister!" The twinkle in his eyes disappeared. The smile that played on his lips disappeared. The looks on his face was showing curiosity and serious business. Rachel did not expect it to be like this.

"What is she talking about, Rachel?" Instead on answering him, she just stared at him. Viktor put the children on the floor and came up to her. " I believe we need to talk. Oscar, Alice, your mother and I are just going to talk, ok? Stay here and be nice. Don't do anything, ok?"

"Yes, Dad."

He pulled Rachel to the room furthest to the living room. After closing the door, he immediately spoke. "Are you really pregnant? Tell me the truth, Rachel." His tone meant business.

"Yes."

"Did you have sex with another man? Who is he?" He wanted to find out so Viktor can take him down. The thought of Rachel with another man made his blood rage. Although technically, they were not together so she could be with any man she wanted. Viktor had claimed her when they met again though so he felt like she belongs to him.

"Calm down Viktor. Lower you voice. The kids might hear us." She had a point. He did not want his kids to hear their conversation especially with this topic.

"Ok. Now, answer me."

"No. I did not have sex with another man. You're the only one I've been with in the past month." Actually, her whole life.

"Do you mean to tell me, I am the father... again?"

"Yes."

"And were you even going to tell me? If Alice did not tell me about your pregnancy, you were not going to tell me again? You're keeping it a secret again?!" This time, he could not control your voice.

"Geez, you're paranoid. Listen, I took the test today, and I am still shocked, ok? I really was going to tell you, please believe me. I did not want to commit the same mistake as before." Did Rachel admit to him that keeping Oscar and Alice from him was a mistake?

"I believe you. It must have happened the day that we talked in my old room."

"Yes. Did you even wear protection? I thought you'd learn from the first time."

"I forgot whether I wore protection that day or not." He genuinely forgot but since she's pregant again, it's safe to say that maybe he really did not wear protection. He must have been caught up in the moment.

"Well, now, new baby for us. How are you feeling about this, Viktor?"

"I'm still taking it in, Rachel. It's still felt surreal. What about you?"

"To be honest, I'm feeling like I;ma failure right now. I feel like I should have learned my lessons the first time. I was thinking if ever I would be pregnant again, it would be when I'm married. Although I gotta say, I don't regret this. I already love my baby."

"I already love our baby too. I love Oscar and Alice and the new baby. This time, I can finally be there right from the start of the pregnancy until he or she is born. I can see them growing. I can hear their first words and I can see their first walk. Thank you Rachel for giving me this." He leaned to kiss her in the lips. It was different from their other kisses. This one was not possessive and hard. It was sweet and tender and has way more meaning.

Viktor continued to talk, "So are the kids ok with it?"

"Yes. They are happy and excited. They actually jumped when told them. Oscar wants a baby brother and Alice wants a baby sister."

"I'm fine with either. I just ant them to be healthy." By this time, Rachel saw some fatherly traits to Viktor.

"They also thought babies can be bought off the stores" she giggled.

"They actually thought of that?!"

"Yes. It was an adorable moment. I explained to them how it works though..."

"Rachel, are we forgetting the fact that it's another custody issue?" Why must he ruin the moment? It was all so perfect and intimate and then he mentioned "custody." The moment was definitely ruined.

"I actually started to think that every thing would be fine between us and the kids and then you have to bring that subject up. What is wrong with you?"

"Rachel, I only wanted to - " He was cut off.

"Get out, Viktor!

"But we need to - "

"Get out now!"