The Lunacy Fringe

I weighed it out in my mind for the next few weeks. Actually, it was a bit longer than that. And I hated myself for taking so long to get around to it. But by the time winter break began to loom over us, I decided to just stop being such a baby and get it over with. I promised Jake I'd go to the Winter Formal with him, but I decided I had to break up with him before Christmas. Then at least we'd have the vacation to deal with things, and hopefully, everything could go back to normal when we went back to school in January.

At least, I hoped.

I made this final decision in the girl's bathroom at school. I was getting ready to leave the stall when a group of girls walked in. They were chatting and giggling, and I immediately recognized one of their voices. So I peeked between the gaps. It was Felix's girlfriend. Candy or whatever. I let go of the handle and stepped back.

They were talking about Felix.

"Have you guys even done it yet?" one of her friends asked as they fixed up their makeup. Candy laughed like she was offended by this question, but she clearly loved it. My heart was pounding, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Actually, no. He's weirdly very gentlemanly," she explained. And I almost sighed in relief.

"That's not what I heard."

"He's actually nothing like the rumors say. I mean, we've never even fooled around. And it took forever to get him just to kiss me. I had to do it myself."

"Why, though?"

"Maybe he's in love," one of the other girls said. They all giggled again.

"I don't know. But I know he's been with me longer than his other girlfriends."

"Do you love him?" She thought about it for a second, applying lipstick to her stupid perfect lips.

"No," she said. "Does that make me a horrible person?" They all laughed. "It's funny because the only reason I liked him in the first place is that I thought he'd be—well, fun. But I decided that if we don't do it by the end of winter break, I'm just going to have to do it myself." They all laughed again as if this was a perfectly normal and pleasant conversation.

"What about that other girl he went out with? He seemed to really like her," one of the girls asked.

"Which one?"

"The one he took to prom last year. The redhead. Except now her hair is that ugly brown color." They all laughed again, clearly having a wonderful time.

"I don't know a lot about her. He gets really defensive when I bring her up. I think it's because she's his best friend's sister. But she's really rude. She kicked us out of her birthday party for no reason. I think she's jealous."

They all left the bathroom, and I waited until they were gone before stepping out. Something was weird about the entire thing. I knew Felix wasn't mine anymore, and of course, I didn't want her to get her hands on him. But I knew there was something still there. Maybe Felix didn't want me, and maybe he really didn't care, but he was keeping her at a distance for a reason. And I didn't like how assertive she was being. "I'll do it myself" sounded an awful lot like rape.

I had to end it with Jake. Even if I didn't outright tell him the truth. I didn't tell anyone what I'd overheard. Not even Billie. I knew I'd have to do something. Even if Jake and I didn't break up. But I wasn't sure who to talk to. Felix probably wouldn't listen. And I couldn't imagine me warning him that his girlfriend wanted to fuck him would be a big shocker. I also didn't want to deal with the possibility that he did want her back. And he'd tell me to my face.

Jake asked me to sit with him at lunch on the last day of school before winter break. I agreed and sat with him because I was looking for a sign that I was making the wrong choice. Maybe I was just too hard on him. Maybe I'd expected too much from him. Maybe it was because I was still hung up on Felix and not because he was a great guy.

But I didn't get a sign. I was bored. No one really talked to me except for Jake. And whenever he did, they found a way to steal him back. They talked, and they laughed, and they were all obviously having the best time. But I felt like an outsider. And it wasn't just because I was too hard on him. It was because we were incompatible. We didn't even have things to talk about when people weren't stealing him away.

"C'mon. I want to talk to you," he finally said after noticing I was bored out of my mind.

So I stood up and followed him back into the halls. He led me to a secluded hallway, and his lips immediately found mine.

Of course, he didn't actually want to talk. He was bored with the conversation too. He knew as well as I did that we never had much to say. He used kissing to fill the void. But that was apparently beginning to bore him too. Recently, he'd been getting just a little more physical and daring. He'd pull me in closer, rub his hands up and down my sides. Sometimes he even tried to touch me when I didn't want him to.

Then his hands snaked up my sweater, and he began to squeeze. I immediately panicked and smacked his hand away from me.

"Jake, stop!" I snapped. "Don't touch me like that."

"What the hell, Ruby? We've been together for like four months. When can I touch you?"

"Not now."

"Well, when?"

"Couldn't we talk about this first before you jump right into groping me at school?"

"Do you have a problem with me touching you?"

"Yes, because you didn't ask permission."

"Did you give him permission when he touched you?" That shut me up. I'd never really told him about the things Felix and I had done. But apparently, he wasn't as blind as I thought.

"I don't want to have this conversation right now," I finally said. "I'm going back to my friends." I started to walk off, but he grabbed me by the wrist, forcing me to jerk to a halt.

"We need to talk about this," he said sternly.

"Not here." I tried to pull away, but his grip got tighter. My heart began to pound. My throat closed up. I began to sniffle. And suddenly, before I could stop myself, I started shaking. "Let me go! You're being an asshole!"

"I'm just trying to figure you out, Ruby. One minute you have your tongue down my throat, and the next, you won't even let me near you."

"It's my choice! Not yours! Let me go!"

Someone was coming down the other hall, and we both turned to see who it was. And then I just wanted to get away faster. Of course, it was Felix and Candy.

"Why is it that whenever I see you guys, she's always fucking crying?" Felix snapped. He didn't bother to ask what was going on. Candy and I both stood there in shock. Felix never really spoke to Jake. If he ever did at all. But Jake didn't let go of my wrist.

"Just stay out of this," he said.

"Get your fucking hands off of her."

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business?"

I knew it was going to escalate. But I didn't know how quickly or what either of them would do. I'd never seen either of them fight before. And as far as I knew, they weren't really quick to anger. But apparently, it didn't take much. Jake had shown resistance, and Felix had no patience for that. I wasn't sure if it was because he cared about me or just because I was Quinn's sister. Or maybe he just always stood up for girls. But he took one second to mull this over before swinging forward and slamming his fist into Jake's face.

I was jerked again before Jake released me. They immediately started throwing punches back and forth. Candy stepped back as if this were entertaining, and I jumped in to try and pull them apart.

"Jake, stop!" I shouted, but it did nothing. Even when I grabbed his shoulders, he kept swinging and hit me in the chest with his elbow. Which apparently just enraged Felix even more.

So I decided to change my tactic in a last-ditch effort.

"Felix, please?" I begged, grabbing hold of him. He froze and let me push him away. I stood between the two of them, but he still had his furious green eyes on Jake. "Why are you doing this?" He finally looked at me. Blood had smeared up the side of his cheek, and his lip was already swelling. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked. He looked back at Jake, taking a step away from us. Candy jumped out to take his hand and pull him away. "Touch her like that again, and I'll break your goddamn neck."

Then he turned and stormed off down the hall, girlfriend in tow.

I spun on Jake.

"What the hell is your problem?" I yelled. Then I groaned at the sight of him. Disheveled, eye swollen. Looking red and pissed. "Are you okay?"

"What the fuck was that all about?" he retorted.

"I don't know. Let's just get you to the nurse."

"We're going to talk about this." I took his arm and yanked him down the hall.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow. I don't want to have this conversation at school. This is why. This could have been avoided if you'd just listened." But he didn't listen again.

"Promise we'll talk about it?" I sighed heavily.

"Yes, I promise."