Your Inaccessible Light

Harlee and Amber don’t stay for long as they both have to be home by eleven. I go back to Max’s with the guys. I know my parents will be at work or asleep so I don’t have to hurry back, but by about midnight, I’m starting to feel tired.
“Do you want me to walk you home?” asks Ronnie who, much to my relief, has only drunk a couple of beers.
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah sure,” he smiles. Ronnie pauses the game they’re playing, tossing his controller to Robert before getting to his feet.
“We’re gonna head off,” he announces. The guys all mutter goodbyes to us both, Monte and Max giving us both a quick hug but Robert and Omar too focused on their game. It’s cold outside but since Ronnie is seemingly immune to the cold, he gives me his hoodie.
“Tonight was really fun,” I tell him honestly. It did a good job of distracting me for a while. God knows where I would be without those distractions.
“It wasn’t bad. Harlee’s pretty hot, not gonna lie,” he smirks.
“Not a chance Radke; she’s taken.”
“So?” he teases, knowing his arrogance winds me up.
“So it’s common courtesy to stay away,” I tell him firmly.
“That’s too bad. I guess I’ll just have to settle for you then.”
“Yeah, you wish,” I mutter, rolling my eyes as I shove him. He shoves me back so I punch him in the shoulder. He groans in pain before wrapping his arms around my waist from behind, picking me up off the ground. “Get off of me,” I order, trying to stop a laugh from escaping my lips which fails miserably. I can’t focus on anything other than how my skin is tingling from Ronnie’s touch, how my heart is racing and how my mind feels at ease around him.
It’s dark in this part of the neighbourhood but the streetlamps provide enough light for me to see a rowdy looking group of guys stumbling around just ahead of us. I feel Ronnie tense up, not in fear but more out of natural instinct, and he reaches for my hand, pulling me close to him.
“Who are they?” I ask.
“Assholes. Just keep quiet and let me handle this okay,” he orders. I nod, glancing ahead at the group of guys who are now just mere feet away from us. There are six of them all together and they each look a couple of years older than Ronnie. Most of them are heavily tattooed and I can tell from their demeanour that they are drunk. My heart starts to thud and I am flooded with anguish at the sign of my weakness.
“Oi Radke!” one of them shouts, “What’s up?” I eye him up and down. He is only an inch taller than Ronnie, but he’s incredibly muscular. His facial features are twisted into a kind of scowl, although it doesn’t seem intentional; it’s as though a frown is permanently plastered to his face.
“I’m good, it’s been a while,” he says as the guy shakes his hand and smacks his back. The friendly gesture doesn’t fool anyone though; you could cut the tension with a knife.
“What’s up with you? You’re being awful quiet,” the guy smirks with unmistakable venom in his voice.
“You’re not so confident now you’re on your own, huh?” another guy snarls.
“I don’t want any trouble,” Ronnie says simply.
“Fuck that. Who’s this little one?” the first guy says, gesturing to me. Ronnie pushes me behind him slightly, squaring up to the guy.
“Leave her out of this,” Ronnie demands and I can see his jaw clench in anger.
“Or what? You gonna fight us again?”
“I’d rather not but don’t fucking push me,” Ronnie warns. I reach out and tug on his arm. He glances at me and I shoot him a pleading look. For a moment he looks torn but then he pulls me close to him and starts walking past the group.
“You better watch yourself Radke. I can still go to the police at any fucking moment and drop you in it. I know plenty of witnesses that would like to see your ass in a fucking prison cell. Wouldn’t want that now, huh?” Instantly I become aware of a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach. What has Ronnie done that could get him in trouble with the police? This whole thing is surely disproportionate for something as ‘minor’ as Ronnie’s drug problem. It must be something more than that. Ronnie spins round to face the group again, raising his arms in defeat. He doesn’t look even the slightest bit scared, instead taking this whole thing with a pinch of salt. I wouldn’t be scared either if it wasn’t for the fact they had been drinking. Drugs and alcohol make people unpredictable.
“Go ahead, go and snitch on me like the fucking pussy you are,” Ronnie yells.
“Rich coming from you,” one of them yells back. Ronnie sticks two fingers up at them before walking quickly away.
“What was that about?” I ask, still clutching onto his hand.
“Nothing, don’t worry. They’re all talk but they don’t do shit. I would have punched them but…”
I quickly cut him off, “But what?”
“Jesus Christ, I thought I was impulsive.”
“What?” I ask defensively.
“There’s standing up for yourself and then there’s plain stupid. Starting a fight with six drunk guys with no back-up is plain stupid,” he explains, shaking his head. I shrug.
“I know that.”
“You know that, do you?” he smirks, eyeing me suspiciously.
“Yeah,” I say, recalling all the times Austin came home with blood gushing from his nose having gotten into fights he stood no chance of winning.
“How’s that? You may be reckless but somehow I doubt you’ve ever been in a situation like that before.”
“I haven’t,” I say simply, “My brother has.” Aside from earlier on, I’ve never once spoken of Austin since I have been here, but I’ve grown sick of it. I’m tired of pretending as though he never existed. I’m tired of doing what my parents want. Austin did what our parents wanted and look where it got him.
“I didn’t know you have a brother,” Ronnie frowns, eyeing me curiously.
“I don’t,” I inform him, “Not anymore.”