Trouble

As soon as I told him what the doctor said, Nathan lost it.
He left the apartment and didn’t come back.
I sniffled as I woke up, my head pounding.
I had stayed up for hours waiting for him.
When I heard the keys in the front door, I jumped, pulling myself from the couch.
He sighed as he entered the room “We should talk about last night” he breathed.
“Maybe start with where you’ve been” I frowned.
“I went to my apartment” Nathan said “I was too mad at you to stay here” he added.
“And now, how do you feel?” I asked.
“I’m still mad” Nathan breathed “You can’t expect me to be ok with this” Nathan sighed.
“I know that it’s a lot to take in…” I attempted.
“You’re choosing his child, over everything else” Nathan hissed, frustration flickering through his eyes.
“Do you think this is an easy decision Nate?” I whispered.
“It seems like you’ve made it quite easily, without thinking at all about me” Nathan breathed.
I shook my head “You have no idea” I breathed back “I thought about you, the second they said it I thought about you, about how my decision would affect you” I frowned.
“If you really considered me in the decision, you would have told me in the morning how you were feeling” Nathan breathed “Like I said last night, I’m not really a part of this pregnancy” He added.
“Nate…” I attempted.
“No” Nathan frowned “I don’t know how to take this, I don’t know how to accept it” Nathan breathed.
“So maybe you should just leave then” I whispered.
“Don’t do that” Nathan frowned “Don’t push me away” He added.
“You are the one who said you don’t know how to accept this” I frowned.
“That doesn’t mean I want out” Nathan pointed out.
“Are you sure, because the way you left last night made it seem like that was exactly what you wanted” I breathed.
“You had just told me that the child you are carrying, could kill you, I don’t see how you don’t think my reaction was warranted” Nathan frowned.
“And you don’t think that in that moment, maybe, just maybe I needed you here with me?” I demanded.
“You can’t expect me to do that” Nathan breathed “You wanted me to support you, to be here, but it shouldn’t work that way, I shouldn’t be on call for you” he added.
“I didn’t say that” I frowned.
“No, but that’s how it sounds” Nathan sighed.
“I needed you to help me Nate, yes, I have made my decision, but I needed you because I wanted to talk it over” I breathed.
“Why?” Nathan frowned.
“Because I value what you think” I sounded.
“I think that asking me is pointless since you’ve already made up your mind, and this act of trying to involve me is a complete act” Nathan breathed.
I breathed out “Fine” I said “Your hostility speaks for itself, so I repeat, Leave” I snapped.
“I think we need to…” Nathan began.
“I mean it Nathan, go” I hissed “You clearly don’t want to be here, so just go” I snapped.
“I came back because I knew we had to talk about this” Nathan breathed.
“And right now, I really, really don’t want to talk to you” I shrugged.
“Sim..” Nathan began.
“No” I hissed “I don’t need this, ok, I don’t need you in my face about this” I snapped.
“Wh…” Nathan attempted.
“This is my child, and what needs to happen is that I need to take this child to term, or it will die, you can’t judge that decision” I snapped.
“Ok” Nathan breathed.
“Now, leave” I muttered.
“Fine” Nathan sighed “But call me if you…” Nathan began.
“I’m not going to call you” I breathed.
Nathan shook his head before turning and leaving.

I closed my eyes, pain rocketing through me as I stepped from the apartment block.
I needed to get out of the house.
I flicked my sunglasses on and stepped along the footpath, walking slowly.
I jumped as my phone buzzed and grabbed it from my bag.

*Hey, wanted to grab some lunch with you today if that’s ok, let me know ; Mark*

I sighed, I had nothing better to do, so I might as well meet with Mark.

*I’m actually out now if you want to meet at the café by my place, I’m bout ten minutes away now? – S*

*I’ll see you soon then * M*

I walked to the café and sat, waiting. Mark arrived not long later.
“Hey, how are you?” He asked.
“I’ve been better” I sighed.
“What’s up?” Mark questioned.
I sighed “It’s a long story” I shrugged.
“I’ve got time” Mark said.
I then began explaining the situation to Mark.
When I was done, he breathed out, frowning.
“To be honest, I get where Nathan is coming from” He sounded “You’re putting your own life at risk for the baby, he’s in the head space where he doesn’t want to lose you, and I really get that” Mark breathed.
“He’s over reacting” I breathed.
“Ok, I don’t necessarily want to be talking to you about Nathan, but you’re wrong here, how do you think the guy feels? You’re carrying my child, you’re protecting that child, he’s losing you, he’s angry and you’re just blowing it all up” Mark breathed.
“You’re not being helpful” I mumbled.
“No, I’m just not taking your side in this and you hate that” Mark sighed “Look, I know that the thought of losing this baby is devastating to you, but what does it matter if in the end, you don’t make it?” Mark breathed.
“I can’t lose another baby” I whispered, my voice cracking “It broke Nathan and I the first time, I couldn’t cope, and I just…” I began.
“But this time you’ll be prepared, we can plan for what comes next, Sim, having you here, that’s the most important thing” Mark said softly.
“I don’t know” I mumbled.
“Talk to him, that’s the best way to sort this out, talk to Nathan” Mark breathed.
“Why are you being so, supportive of Nathan and I?” I asked.
“Because I can see how happy you are with him, all I want is for you to be happy, and I know he makes you happy” Mark sighed.
“I should call him” I breathed.
“You should” Mark said, smiling weakly.
After lunch, I made my way home, pulling out my phone as I reached the curb.
Just as I hit call, and stepped through the door, I looked up, spotting Nathan.
“Hi” He said quietly. Holding up his ringing phone.
I walked up to him wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his shoulder “I’m sorry” I mumbled.
He didn’t say anything, he just held onto me.