Trouble

“Babe, you’re pacing, relax” Nathan said, grabbing my hands and holding me still.
“Why is it taking so long?” I demanded.
“It’s been two minutes” Nathan said slowly.
“No, it’s been…” I began, pulling my hands away from him and grabbing my phone, I frowned “Two minutes” I mumbled.
Nathan smiled a small smile “Freaking out isn’t going to make the doctor come any quicker” he said.
“I just, I’ve never been good in these situations” I sighed.
“It’s just a pre-surgery check-up” Nathan reminded me.
“Yeah, and tomorrow it’ll be the surgery, imagine me then” I breathed.
“I can already picture it” Nathan said, shaking his head.
A few minutes later the doctor came out and took me in for tests and a routine check-up.
“All looks good” She smiled.
“So the surgery will go ahead?” I asked.
She nodded “Be here at seven am and Dr Nicles will be with you soon after” She said.
“Ok, thanks so much” I said, smiling weakly as I left the room.
Nathan was waiting outside “All ok?” He asked.
I nodded.
Nathan wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the hospital, meanwhile, I stayed silent, thoughts brewing in my mind.
“You’re quiet” Nathan commented as we reached the car.
“Mmm” I mumbled.
“Are you ok?” Nathan asked.
“I’m, fine, um, actually…” I began, shutting the car door I had just opened “I might walk home, I need some fresh air anyway” I breathed.
Nathan looked at me carefully “I could walk with you, come back and get the car later..” he began.
I shook my head “I need to be alone for a bit” I said “I’ll see you later, ok” I mumbled.
“Yeah, ok, but if you need me….” Nathan began.
“It’s a short walk Nate, I’ll be home not long after you” I said.
“Ok” Nathan sighed.
I smiled weakly “I’ll be fine, I just need to think” I breathed.
“About…” Nathan attempted.
“I’ll talk to you about it when I’m home” I said, turning and taking a step to the footpath.
I sighed, walking slowly along the familiar path towards home.
The walk gave me thinking time, clarity, and by the time I was at the apartment, I knew that I needed to have a discussion with Nathan about tomorrow.
I pushed open the door and sighed, spotting Nathan on the couch.
“Hey” I said “Told you I’d be quick” I added.
“You going to tell me what’s going on?” Nathan asked.
I breathed out slowly “I, I just had a freak out about tomorrow” I sighed.
“Mmm, ok” Nathan said.
I bit my lip, sitting next to him on the couch “Nate, we need to talk about what happens if something goes wrong” I breathed.
“No” Nathan frowned.
“No?” I asked.
“We are not talking about that, no way” Nathan said, standing up and walking away.
“Nathan” I breathed.
“No” Nathan said.
“Stop. We need to…” I attempted.
“Don’t push me on this, I’m not having this discussion with you” Nathan hissed, shaking his head.
“Why?” I demanded.
“Because it makes it a possibility, it makes it a reality, I don’t want to lose you and talking about it means I might so just, don’t” Nathan exclaimed.
“We can’t just pretend that everything is ok” I frowned.
“Why?” Nathan demanded “Why can’t we just pretend?” he breathed.
“Because it’s happening” I breathed “I’m going in for surgery tomorrow, and I need to know that if something happens…” I began.
“I said no” Nathan snapped, shaking his head again, he turned, taking off to the bedroom.
I frowned, quickly walking towards the room “Nate” I sighed, the door was closed.
He didn’t answer.
I breathed out, pushing open the door “You’re being ridiculous” I commented, spotting him sitting against the bed.
Nathan shook his head, pulling something from his pocket and putting it on the bed before, moving past me, going into the bathroom.
I frowned as I heard the click of the lock and quickly went to the bed, grabbing what he had put down.
I bit my lip as I picked up the box and pulled it open to reveal a stunning diamond ring.
“Nathan” I breathed, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Open the door, tell me what this means” I sighed.
The door clicked open and Nathan let out a breath “I don’t want to talk about what might happen, I didn’t want to ruin this and hey, I did” he breathed, pointing to the ring.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I had this plan, I was going to make you dinner, I was going to do it the right way, but you brought up tomorrow, and I, I can’t think about tomorrow” Nathan breathed.
“What made you think this was a good idea?” I asked, holding out the ring.
“I’ve been thinking about it lately” Nathan said.
“And that means it’s a good idea?” I frowned.
“No, but, we were planning to get married once before I…” Nathan began.
“I appreciate that you thought it was a good thing, a grand gesture, but today?” I sighed.
“I thought it’d be significant, that it showed I was optimistic” Nathan mumbled.
I smiled weakly “I love you” I said “But that isn’t what I need, I just need you” I said.
Nathan sighed, sliding from the bathroom and grabbed the ring “I’ll keep this then, and when I do ask, it’ll be perfect, or at least, better than last time” He said.
“I liked the way you did it last time” I said.
“I can do better” Nathan shrugged.
“Ok, well you plan for that then” I said.
Nathan leant forward, kissing me lightly “I love you” he said, sighing.