Trouble

I had gotten home late, leaving the car park of the restaurant well after eleven, debating with myself about what to do next.
Nathan was already home, asleep in his room, so I slid into my own, locking the door and curling up on my bed.
I didn’t get much sleep, and when I woke up at seven to begin getting ready, I felt like crap.
I showered and changed, before going to the kitchen.
“Hey, you didn’t come into my room last night” Nathan’s voice sounded, causing me to cringe and spin around.
“Yeah, um, it was late, I didn’t want to wake you” I breathed.
“Oh , ok” Nathan said, smiling “How was dinner?” he asked.
“Fine, Dinner was fine” I said quickly “How was your night?” I asked.
“Pretty average, the game was complete crap” Nathan sighed.
“But you had fun with your mates?” I asked.
Nathan nodded “Yeah, it was good to catch up” He said.
“That’s good” I said, smiling weakly.
“You don’t look so well” Nathan commented.
“I think I’m coming down with something” I lied, shaking my head.
“Call in sick” Nathan said “I’m finishing early today so I can come take care of you” he said.
“I think I might do that, I’m in no shape to work” I breathed, grabbing my phone, instantly I noticed a message.

**We need to talk about that kiss – Ry**

I replied and deleted the message instantly.

**No**

“Problem?” Nathan asked.
“No” I breathed, dialling work, I explained that I was unwell and told them I’d be in tomorrow, before sighing and climbing onto the couch.
“You going to be ok on your own?” Nathan questioned.
“I’ll be fine” I promised.
“Ok” Nathan sighed.
“You have a half day?” I asked.
“Yeah, they called me this morning to tell me, I guess it’s a good thing” Nathan said.
“Mmm” I mumbled, I felt sick, completely and utterly sick, I should have just told him right away, just admitted to what happened, but I didn’t.
I let him leave, kissing me on top of the head before taking off to work.

I had spent most of the morning just doing nothing, wallowing in my own self pity, my phone had been beeping with messages all day, so I placed it in my room, away from me.
In the afternoon, it rang, sighing I grabbed it.
“Stop texting me” I breathed.
“I just want to know what happened, I thought you were sending signals” Ryan breathed.
“I wasn’t sending any signals Ry” I sighed.
“Ok, but that kiss happened, and you kissed me back” Ryan pointed out.
“I know, I didn’t mean to kiss you back though, I, I have a boyfriend” I breathed.
“A boyfriend?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah, I actually live with him, I don’t know why I haven’t mentioned it, I just haven’t, the fact of the matter is that, yeah, I kissed you last night, but it was just a kiss, a nothing of a kiss, you have to get that Ry” I said.
I heard a sound in the hallway, causing me to frown, with the phone still on my ear I walked out, my face falling when I spotted Nathan.
“Nate…” I began.
“You kissed him?” He demanded, venom in his voice.
“Please…” I began.
“No” Nathan snapped, shaking his head “Answer the question” He said.
I bit my lip, closing my eyes “Yes, I kissed him… But it was a…” I attempted.
“A mistake?” Nathan demanded, he laughed a weird laugh and shook his head “I should have known this would happen, you always avoid talking about him, even with your mother the other day” He said.
“Nathan” I begged, trying to stop him from talking.
“Why didn’t you tell me this morning?” he asked.
“I…” I began.
“You acted like nothing had changed, like nothing was different” He breathed.
“Nothing is different Nathan” I breathed, my eyes watering “I…” I attempted again.
“How can nothing be different? You kissed another man, a man who you have a history with, I’m guessing you weren’t up front about that too, it’s more than you let on, isn’t it?” Nathan demanded.
I nodded.
“Tell me then, what was the extent of it” Nathan breathed.
“I told you we use to flirt, we kissed a few times too back then” I mumbled.
“You flat out told me that nothing had happened between the two of you, that it was all above board, just flirting” Nathan said, his expression full of fire.
“Because I didn’t think it was important” I breathed out, chocking up slightly as I allowed myself to look at him, he was angry.
“I trusted you” Nathan said, this time it wasn’t anger, it was sadness, his expression fell and he looked to the ground “I let you in” he breathed.
I reached out, my hand sitting on his, he didn’t move away “I love you” I said softly “I didn’t mean to kiss him back, it was a mistake” I shakily.
“Do you have feelings for him?” Nathan asked, he still didn’t move.
I hesitated, which was the biggest mistake I could make, Nathan shook my hand away angrily and shook his head “I need to leave” he breathed, turning.
“Nathan” I mumbled, shaking.
“I can’t look at you right now” Nathan said, he took off down the hall and a few seconds later I heard the front door slam shut, that broke me, I dropped to the ground against the wall, sobbing, I had just screwed up everything.