Trouble

At around 5, Nathan got back, I was sitting at the kitchen bench flicking through my phone.
“Your back” I said.
Nathan nodded “I was working” he said.
“Can we talk about something” I breathed, putting my phone down.
Nathan nodded, putting his stuff away before turning to me “What’s up?” he asked.
“What was last night about?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Nathan frowned.
“There was a moment, when we were talking, a weird moment” I mumbled.
Nathan shrugged.
“And this morning, you flipped out about Dean and I?” I breathed.
“I was just in a bad mood” Nathan shrugged.
“No, I’m pretty sure it was more than that” I frowned.
Nathan let out a breath “Just, forget about it” he said, attempting to turn, I frowned, sliding off the chair and grabbing his arm, not realising how close we were “No, tell me” I breathed.
Nathan leant forward, pressing his lips against mine, catching me off guard, for a second I resisted, but then something in my clicked, I kissed him back.
Nathan pulled away quickly, his eyes on mine “I’m sorry…” he began.
I shook my head, leaning towards him and pressing my lips to his again, I linked my hands against his neck, pulling his face closer to mine and kissed him gently, Nathan’s hands sat against my waist, our bodies hot against one another’s.
He lifted me up, sitting me against the bench, I felt my hands slide down, reaching under his tee-shirt and touching his bare chest and sliding back up again, sitting against his shoulders.
Everything about this kiss felt right, even though it was so wrong.
My phone ringing, snapped us out of it.
Nathan instantly let me go, his eyes burnt into mine for a second before he backed away, I grabbed my phone, frowning, it was Dean.
“It’s him, isn’t it?” Nathan breathed.
I felt myself nod, I didn’t answer the phone, the shrill ringing buzzed in my ears, shaking me a little.
“You should answer it” Nathan mumbled.
I frowned “Na…” I began.
“Just, forget anything happened” Nathan breathed out, frustration coating his tone.
“No we need to…” I attempted to catch him again.
“Just, stop” Nathan snapped “You’re in a perfect relationship with a perfect guy, why would you want to screw it up by screwing me?” he hissed, shaking his head and taking off to his room.
I frowned after him, what the hell was that?
I went to Nathan’s door, slamming my fist against it “Open the door” I yelled, frustration swarming.
He didn’t answer.
“Nathan, I’m not joking, open the damn door” I exclaimed.
He didn’t respond again.
For ten minutes I slammed anything I could against the door, eventually, I gave up, sitting on the floor and resting against the door.
“Please talk to me” I mumbled quietly, though I knew he could hear me.
Nathan pulled open the door slightly “there’s nothing to say” He breathed.
I scrambled to my feet, attempting to be level with him “Nothing? Really?” I demanded.
“It was a moment of weakness, a moment of weakness that won’t happen again” Nathan breathed.
“Nathan” I frowned at him, my eyes on his.
“I know I’ve said I don’t like the guy, but you have something good with Dean, don’t make anything of what happened” Nathan breathed.
“Dean isn’t my concern right now” I breathed.
“What’s your concern then?” Nathan sighed.
“Why did you kiss me?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter” Nathan shrugged.
“It does matter” I breathed.
“For the sake of both of us, forgetting about this is the best thing to do” Nathan sighed.
“No” I frowned “It’s for your own sake, I don’t get it, I don’t get why it happened” I frowned.
“I’m not discussing this anymore” Nathan breathed out.
“Fine” I said slowly.
“Good” Nathan muttered, closing the door in my face.
I shook slightly, why was he shutting me out?
I felt sick knowing that I was the one who actually wished that kiss had lead to something, that I wanted to keep kissing him, that I would do it again.

**

I woke up in the morning and had a quick shower, before going to the kitchen to grab some breakfast.
Nathan was just grabbing some toast.
His eyes met mine for a split second, before diverting to the counter.
I frowned “So you can’t even look at me?” I demanded.
Nathan let out a breath “I told you to drop it” He said.
“No, I want to know what the hell happened” I breathed.
“You don’t quit do you?” Nathan frowned, shaking his head.
“I just want to make sense of it” I frowned.
“There’s nothing to make sense of, I made a mistake, a stupid mistake, you were there and it just happened, it didn’t mean anything” Nathan shrugged.
“Really? Because if my phone hadn’t rung…” I began.
“You said yourself that I sleep with random girls all the time, it always means nothing” Nathan said, shaking his head.
I frowned “I know that isn’t…” I began.
“Don’t you get it?” Nathan demanded, frustration flooding his tone “All it was was physical” He hissed.
“You can lie to yourself Nath, but not to me” I breathed.
Nathan shook his head, picking up his toast “I’m not talking to you any more about this, ok, we’re both adults, we should both just move on” he said.
I felt my heart thud violently against my chest, this feeling was something I couldn’t understand, I was in a stable relationship with Dean, so why was I so drawn to Nathan?
“I…” I began, attempting to explain.
“Moving on” Nathan hissed, turning for his room.
“You’re being an idiot” I snapped angrily, shaking my head at him.
Nathan spun around, his eyes on me, a questioning look covering his face.
“You wouldn’t have kissed me like that if there wasn’t a reason” I breathed.

“I already explained the reason” Nathan shrugged.
“No, you explained a lie” I muttered.
“You don’t know me anymore” Nathan said “I’m not who I was when we were kids” he announced.
“What does that have to do with…” I began.
“Just, understand this, nothing can happen with us, and nothing will” Nathan breathed, he turned back and took off, slamming his bedroom door shut.