Trouble

I sighed sleepily as I left my apartment to make my way to work, as soon as I pushed open the doors I spotted someone by my car.
I frowned as I got closer.
It was Nathan.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded.
“I need to talk to you” Nathan breathed, he looked different, his eyes were duller in colour, his skin was paler, his hair was slightly longer, he wasn’t at all the man I knew.
“We spoke Nathan, there’s nothing left” I mumbled.
“I know that you don’t want to talk to me, or listen to me but I…” Nathan attempted.
“If you know that, then why are you here?” I demanded.
“I needed to see you” Nathan mumbled.
“Why?” I asked.
“The surgery was only a minor success, I, I don’t know how long I have left and I needed to see you one more time” Nathan said slowly, his hand touched my arm and for a second I let him, his eyes bore into mine and I looked right back at him.
A car horn jolted me from my thoughts, instantly I tore myself away from his grasp “You can’t do this” I whispered, my voice cracking “You can’t come here, say that and just, you can’t” I snapped, shaking.
“I just want a chance to…” Nathan attempted.
“To what? To win me back?” I demanded.
“No” Nathan sighed “I know I’ve lost my chance, I respect the fact that you’re with Ryan now, I just, I wanted to see if there was any chance at all that you could forgive me for what I did” Nathan said, looking to the ground.
“No” I whispered.
“No?” Nathan asked.
“You did the worst thing imaginable to me Nathan, something I never thought you’d ever do, I can’t forgive you, not for that” I breathed.
“Ok” Nathan sighed, turning.
I bit my lip, reaching for him, grasping his arm “You really don’t know how long you have left?” I whispered.
Nathan shook his head “The doctor is putting me on some more medication, it’s the last option I have” He breathed.
“And have you spoken to your parents?” I demanded.
Nathan nodded “I called them after I called you” He sighed.
“They were really worried about you” I pointed out.
“I know” Nathan breathed.
“Ok” I sighed, letting him go.
“I hope you’re really happy with Ryan Sim, I, I really do” Nathan said softly as I got into my car.
I didn’t say anything in response, I couldn’t.
He turned again, walking away, and for a few seconds I watched him, feeling my heart lurch in my chest.
I hated how even though I hated him, I still loved him, and that now he was back, there was no chance to just forget about him and live my life.

When I got to work I spotted Ryan on the way in, I tapped him on the shoulder “hey” I smiled.
He smiled back “Hi you” he said.
“Busy?” I asked.
“Not really, I’m on the desk again, it’s quiet” Ryan shrugged.
“I think I’m on the desk too” I commented.
Ryan nodded “I made them put you on the desk” He said.
“Mmm, you made them?” I asked.
Ryan grinned.
“Yep, I did, now get your stuff put away and we can work” he said.
“Kay” I sighed, shaking my head and walking into the staff room, Lilly was in there.
“Hey Lil” I smiled.
She looked up and smiled back at me “Hey miss, how are you?” She asked.
“I’m good, how are you?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m good” Lilly shrugged.
“How was the date?” I asked, sitting across from her.
Lilly shrugged.
“Not good?” I asked.
“No, not really, bit of a flop actually” Lilly sighed.
“Don’t stress, you’ll find the right guy soon” I offered.
“Speaking of, how’s Dr Ryan?” Lilly asked, raising an eyebrow.
“He’s good, we’re, good” I shrugged.
“Mmm” Lilly breathed.
“What?” I demanded
“You said it in an off way” Lilly shrugged.
“No, I didn’t, we are seriously good” I said, frowning.
“Nathan’s back” Lilly said “I take it you know” She added.
“I do know, but how do you?” I asked.
“He came in for Chemo” Lilly shrugged.
My eyes widened “Chemo” I breathed “He, he never said it was chemo that he was doing, he said a new medication…” I began.
“Chemo is a medication” Lilly reminded me.
“But he never said…” I attempted.
“Maybe he didn’t want to bombard you with it, I was there when he made the booking, he asked me specifically when you started, he didn’t want you here when he went in” Lilly said.
I felt my face fall, I didn’t like this, I didn’t like that Nathan and I were in this place, that we were distanced from one another the way we were.
“He came in this morning?” I asked.
Lilly nodded.
“And he’s gone now?” I asked.
Lilly nodded again.
“Was Ryan around?” I frowned.
“He probably passed by him since he got in when he left.
I frowned, this was a test I needed to see the outcome of, I needed to see if he brought Nathan up.
I got to work at the desk, filing papers alongside Ryan who was reading charts, we chatted a bit.
After a while I couldn’t handle it any more, I shook my head “Why haven’t you mentioned the fact that you saw Nathan this morning?” I demanded.
Ryan’s eyes widened “I..” He began.
“You were just not going to tell me?” I snapped.
Ryan frowned “Hey, relax, I just didn’t know if you’d want to know he was here” He said.
“Right” I frowned.
“I was planning on telling you later, not in the middle of work” Ryan breathed, his eyes on mine “I don’t want to keep anything from you and I won’t” he promised.
I sighed “Ok” I mumbled.