Feed the Fire

The dry erase board now read 11:58 so Sabrina decided to just improv until the countdown to the New Year began. "Okay folks... we have just a few scant minutes left... grab your lover and your glass of bubbly. Get your friends around you and let's get ready to countdown." The director then threw the announcing to the MTV VJs who were ready to take over for the countdown.

Sabrina sighed as the camera light went off and she took a moment to glance around at her friends. Mike had come up and was standing behind Beth with his arms around her shoulders. They were both smiling and laughing to themselves. A quick look around showed her band members hugging their respected wives and pouring champagne into glasses. She looked toward the VIP section and saw Billie and Adie arms around each other deep in conversation with Tre and Jill right next to them in a similar position. Finally she gazed upon Toby who had brought the man he was seeing to the event and now the two were discreetly holding hands and readying their glasses to toast. With a heavy heart Sabrina realized that she was totally alone and was going to spend yet another ball drop without anyone by her side.

As the clock ticked down, the crowd got louder and joined in counting the last seconds of 2006.

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The crowd cheered and shouted while confetti and balloons dropped from overhead onto the people. Sabrina stood there alone in the midst of all the happy celebrating couples and ducked her head as the tears silently fell down her face. The floor director had seen what was going on and had a camera trained on her almost the entire time. He watched as she raised her mic to her lips and he quickly made the camera 'live'.

A feeling flooded through Sabrina as she made a decision and moved to her mic up to catch what she was going to do. She started out quietly but picked up steam as the people started to hear her and stopped to watch what she was doing.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.

When Sabrina got to the end of the chorus, her band began to play with her and together they finished out the song.

Sabrina let the cheering die down for a minute and she smiled at the crowd, "Are you ready to party now?" The crowd screamed it's response. "I don't think so... I said, are you ready to party now?" The crowd's response was deafening and it brought a smile to the woman's lips. "Okay let's clear this stage and show these people how rock and roll is supposed to sound. 'I Can See Clearly' now boys," she shouted.

The band rocked out a version of the classic song with wailing guitars and pounding drums. The crowd went nuts dancing to the beat and drinking and generally having a good old time. The band played another rock song before the program went to commercial.

Everyone scattered as they had a few minutes to pee, drink and be merry before having to play again. Sabrina went down to the VIP area and went to the windows that overlooked Time's Square and gazed out all the crowds who were still celebrating the new year. She let her mind wander and thought about the coming months and a hand once again went to cover her slight baby bulge. She stood there until an intern tapped her on the shoulder to bring her back from her musings to go back to the stage.

One of the VJs threw the broadcast back to Sabrina who preceded to keep the programs rocking. "Okay boys, how about a little 'Can't Catch Me'," she called out to the band and soon the driving drum beat rang through the room. The crowd was eating it up with a spoon and Sabrina turned it around by doing 'Kiss Me Deadly'. A commercial break came after that song and within a moment they were back on the air again.

"Okay everyone, let's slow it down here. Grab your partner and pull them close for the first slow dance of 2007. We've been on the road for about 3 months now and this is a song for all those road warriors out there. This song is gonna feature Danny on sax." The woman glanced around to make sure everyone was ready and when the go ahead was given she counted off in a slow fashion. "Two... three... four." With that the sax began to wail as the Bob Seger song came to life. This arrangement was different then the original verison by being slower and it made 'Turn the Page' even more poignant than it was before when sung by Seger himself.

The woman stood fronting the band looking like the rock goddess she was. The lights dimmed around the others as Sabrina was bathed in lights. She hung her head down as the music began but when she started to sing she moved her eyes to look up while her head still stayed down.

On a long and lonesome highway
East of Omaha
You can listen to the engine
moanin' out its one-note song
You can think about the woman
or the girl you knew the night before

But your thoughts will soon be wandering
the way they always do
When you're ridin' sixteen hours
and there's nothin' much to do
And you don't feel much like ridin',
you just wish the trip was through

Sabrina's look changed from that of a rock goddess to the look of a tired person, someone who has seen too much and was ready to go home. She looked like everyone on tour before the fans see them, before hitting the stage; a person who was tired and ready to go home but instead had to suck it up and go onstage one more time.

So here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
here I go
I'm playin' that star again
There I go
Turn the page

Again Sabrina seemed to morph into another person as she sang the next verse. She seemed to be like a person unsure of herself, someone who wrapped their arms around themselves in an effort to keep themself safe from prying eyes.

Well you walk into a restaurant,
strung out from the road
And you feel the eyes upon you
as you're shakin' off the cold
You pretend it doesn't bother you
but you just want to explode.

Most times you can't hear 'em talk,
other times you can
oh, the same old cliches,
"Is that a woman or a man?"
And you always seem outnumbered,
you don't dare make a stand

So here I am
On the road againThere I am
Up on the stage
here I go
I'm playin' that star again
There I go
Turn the page

The music seemed to swell and swirl around the audience and musicians alike. The notes wrapped themselves around the crowd and they saw for one moment in time what the bands felt like; what it felt to be a rock star.

Out there in the spotlight
you're a million miles away
Every ounce of energy
these guys try to give away
As the sweat pours out my body
like the music that I play

The music played a few scales before it came to a stop all of a sudden and it left Sabrina standing alone in a spotlight; head hung once again. The sound of Beth's guitar and a single high hit click was the only thing that played behind the lead singer's words.

Later in the evening
as I lie awake in bed
With the echoes from these amplifiers
ringin' in my head
I smoke the day's last cigarette,
rememberin' what they said

A single chord from the bass rang out loud and true with only the click of the hit hat which answered the lone instrument. Without warning the drummer slammed down onto his cymbal and caught it so it didn't ring out in conjunction with Sabrina's vocal of a single word before the music once again picked up.


So,

here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
here I go
I'm playin' that star again
There I go
Turn the page

Well, here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
here I go
I'm playin' that star againThere I go
Turn the page

Again the song swelled in a crescendo as it began to near it's final destination. Sabrina again changed back into the rock star, singing as though she had done it all of her life and she belonged right there in that stage.

Well, here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
here I go
I'm playin' that star again
There I go

The music stopped for the last time as Sabrina stood in a spot light all by herself. The music played throughout and brought her to this point in time. A final guitar chord rang out as she sang the final words.

Turn the page

The horn finished out the song with the same notes it started with. As the notes echoed and finally died away, the crowd went absolutely nuts. A quick glance to the dry erase board showed Sabrina just what she wanted to see, 'Good Night, 2006.' She smiled into the camera and swept her hand back to her band as everyone clamored onstage to join them to wish the world goodnight.

After the camera stopped rolling the VJs told the crowd that everyone was welcomed to stay and party for a few more hours. The DJ started to spin some song and the crowd roared and preceded to party til the cows came home.

Mike turned towards Beth and pulled her in for a long and tender kiss. When he finally pulled back for air she smiled at the man, "Happy New Year Mike."

Mike lifted a hand and caressed her cheek, "Here's to many more, Beth." She stared at him and pushed off that little kennel of doubt to the back of her mind as he led her off of the stage and down to the VIP area to 'party like a rock star' with the others.

Sabrina left the stage and slipped away from the studio unseen and back toward the rooms designated for the bands. She walked into the first one she found that had a couch and gratefully sunk down into its soft depths. She grabbed the convenient throw that was draped over the back and settled it down around her body. She moved down to lay on her side and soon closed her eyes and drifted off to dreamland.

The three Green Day members stumbled down a hallway on a mission. They were leaning on each other in order to stay in an upright position and not crash to the floor in a pile of drunkenness. They were trying to find a room where they could have a New Years' bowl together and not get caught. They peeked in rooms as they walked by them, looking for that perfect place. They felt like James Bond on a mission but they looked more like Inspector Gadget bumbling around.

They glanced at one room as they went by, dismissing it for being too big and continued on. Something made Tre take another look and to his surprise he saw the woman fast asleep on the couch. He stopped short, sending the other two slamming into each other. "Wait," he said to his fellow drunken buddies as he turned and walked as steadily as he could into the room and over to the couch where Sabrina slept.

Tre stood over Sabrina as he watched her sleep, unaware that he was even there. As that familiar protective feeling washed through him, he welcomed it rather than shutting it off. He bent over to pick up the now fallen throw and shook it out with a flick of his wrists. Gently he laid it overtop of Sabrina, covering her up once again. He didn't even realize that his hand had snaked out and touched her forehead, brushing aside a piece of her hair that had fallen in her face as she slept soundly.

Mike and Billie watched Tre as he administered to his ex wife, the mother of his unborn child. They both shook their heads and wondered why in the earth he persisted to stay with Jill when Sabrina was more than willing to take him back in a heartbeat. Especially when it was plain to them that he still cared for the older woman. When Tre started to sing in a quiet voice, his friends stayed a moment longer before stepping out of the room and going back into the hallway to give the man some privacy. They still could hear his voice as they looked at each other once again shaking their heads at what was so obvious to them but not so to the drummer.

Now it seems I can't keep my mind above you
My brain drifts back to better days we've been through
Like sitting on blacktop of school grounds
The love I bitched about I finally found

But now it's gone and I take the blame
And there's nothing I can do but take the pain
Why?

Now I dwell on what you remind me of
A sweet young girl who sacrificed her love
As for me... I am blind without a cause
And now I realize what I have lost

It was something real that I could have had
Now I play the fool whose stable soul's gone bad
Why?