Collide

It was time for me to make my decision I turned left heading back into charming. I knew part of me was screaming to get out of charming. That old woman touched me she was Jax’s grandma on his father’s side I heard her love story and it just touched me. I needed to go back to charming and see if Jax and I were the next Emily and Henry Teller. I sighed out as I glanced at my phone for a minute seeing a Text from Mia. ‘Are you still alive?’ I sighed out knowing I couldn’t reply to that as I was driving down the interstate. I saw the exit come into view Exit 171 to Charming. I pulled off the interstate and looked at the two lane highway that would lead me back into Charming.

“Ready or not charming here I come.” I drove into town and parked in that very same parking lot I had broken down in the first time I was in town I sat there for a few minutes gathering my thoughts picking my phone up I watched the time on the phone change slowly I wasn’t going to just show up there right when the garage would be opening I wanted to wait for a few before going to see Jax. I hope he’s not mad at me…

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Noon rolled around slowly as I finally got the courage to go back to the garage and see if Jax was around. I parked on the street and walked inside, I looked around and saw no sign of Jax just yet I walked to the back I hadn’t noticed the panicked looks on most of the guys faces as I walked into the back I stopped when I saw Jax shirtless and Ima in only his shirt. I looked at him and sighed, “I wasn’t even gone a day.” I said quietly as I looked at Ima then at Jax I looked so disappointed. “Have fun with your whore.” I turned and stormed out of the clubhouse my heart was in pieces. I knew this would happen it always happens to me I always put myself out there to be loved, when I feel safe is when things happen.

“Jesse, Jesse, JESSE WAIT!” Jax called out running after me in his jeans I felt him grab onto me I struggled against him, “GET OFF ME!” I screamed out I looked at him hurt as I turned to face him. “So much for caring about me! You don’t even wait a full fucking 24 hours for me to be gone to jump into bed with a whore!” I looked down as the tears started to build up I sighed wiping them before they could fall out. “I should’ve turned right.” I looked at him hurt. “I hate you Jax, I fucking hate you.” I said and shoved him. “You made me fucking fall in love with you! I didn’t want this! I was just fine until I fucking stopped in Charming!” I said and let go of some tears.

“Jesse listen to me,” He said to me I didn’t even want to hear his voice right now I looked down. “She meant nothing, I was lonely you just fucking walked away from me. I didn’t think you’d be coming back.” He said to me I looked up at the sky as the tears fell down my cheeks I brought the sleeve of my jacket up and wiped at my eyes. “I hate you.” I said again looking at him. “I really hate you, I didn’t want this Jax.” I said looking away from him again. “I never should’ve opened my heart for you because you threw it on the ground and let that bitch walk on it.” I reached into my car and grabbed the picture of Jax, his father and his brother and threw it into his chest, “Your grandmother, told me a story last night while I stayed with her, she told me about her love story. It sounded like us, I never should’ve come back.”

I turned to get into the car I felt Jax grab onto me again “You’re not leaving me again damn it,” He said as he pinned me between his body and my car, “I fuck thousands of girl’s okay it’s part of being who I am. I barely have time to notice their faces, but with you it was fucking different. I felt something Jesse, I actually remembered your name and looked at you while I fucked you. I don’t do that Ima was a fucking fluke okay she meant nothing I was drunk and heartbroken because the girl who came into my life and messed me up left. You messed me up, I’m not supposed to be soft or love someone and I love you already I can’t explain it. I know these excuses probably mean nothing to you but I do love you Jesse.”

I turned and looked at him again. “You fucked her, you know I hate her out of all the girls here it had to be her?” I shook my head and looked down I didn’t want the tears to fall or for him to see me weak around him. “I hate you.” I spoke quietly looking at him. “I never should’ve come back I knew you were too good to be true!” I said and looked at him as the tears slipped out of my eyes. “I want to take back everything you and I did.”

“Jesse wait…” He said I lifted my arm up, “don’t bother Jax, bye.” I got into my car and got in starting it up I drove out of the lot and pulled up at the motel, I was pretty much out of money now that I had wasted all that money on fixing up my car and driving back and forth to charming. I got myself a room for the night and sat there. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes pulling one between my teeth. I stared at my phone for a few minutes before calling Mia. I didn’t want to hear her say ‘I told you so’ those words would just break me even more.