The Echo in My Head

I watched her as she walked towards us with her wrist in my cast. That was my fault. I shouldn't have kissed her. I don't know what I was thinking. I would blame it on the Tequila, but I knew that was pointless. The liquor only gave me the confidence to do something I've been wanting to do. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't deserve to be happy. It was my fault that Stacey was dead. She died angry at me. I didn't deserve to even think about being with someone else. On top of that I was sure the doctors believed that I did that to her. If I was in that position I would think that too. A group of damaged misfits comes into the hospital and one of the guys is drunk and one of the girls is hurt. The drunk guy looks all broken up and the hurt girl is saying she fell. Sounds like a cover up story to me. It also doesn't help that it's five guys and only two girls. That makes the situation worse. Of course Kitty looks like the sane on. They probably warned her to get away from us as soon as possible.

I groaned as I rubbed my hand across my face. I needed booze. This was officially too much. I got up with the rest of the gang and walked out of the hospital with them. I was way beyond drunk and I knew they weren't going to let me drive home like this. Kyle and Grayson had already confiscated my keys and the rest of my booze. We ended up at Kitty's house again eating the food that she had cooked earlier. Eating all that bread was sobering me up. Things were starting to clear up in my mind. Why was she looking for her razor in the first place. It was then that I realized even though we have all become pretty close we really didn't know much. We were all hiding behind closed doors and the only thing we were hiding from was ourselves. From our pain. From our past. From that one thing, whatever it was, that we couldn't handle. We were all similar that we looked past the one thing that we had in common. The ability to keep to ourselves. To hide our secrets and true feelings. If we were all friends and believed that we trusted our lives in each others hand then we should know the depth of the details about the things we already knew about each other. Maybe we weren't as close as we thought.

"Guys, I think I'm good enough to drive." I said for what felt like the thousandth time. They all stared at me. I groaned as I got up to walk in a straight line and all the other embarrassingly, inane things to prove that I was competent enough to drive. They all yelled see you tomorrow as I walked towards the door. Little did they know it was going to be a while before they saw me again.
Over the next two weeks I got over a hundred missed calls. It was like they all were calling every ten to twenty minutes. Between the hangovers and the drinking it was really starting to irritate me, but I knew they were all just concerned. I also had over fifty missed texts, primarily from Kitty. Her last text made me make up my mind even though I didn't want to.



The next day I'm leaning against the cafeteria door hesitating to go in. I was glad I did. When she hugged me it was like she awoke a side of me that I thought had died with Stacy a long time ago. I sighed.

"I thinks it's time we have a heart to heart." I whispered in her ear. I knew nothing was ever going to be the same. Hopefully she felt the same as I did. Every rose has it's thorns no matter how pretty it is on the outside.