The Echo in My Head

We were sitting in detention instead of being on our way to Echo's house as planned. We were on one side, them on the other. About half way through the fight I manage to gather up enough courage to at least attempt to stop the fight. Instead some bitch ended up thinking I was helping the guys and pulled my hair. That pissed me off. Now we're sitting here and I'm glaring at the guys, which they obviously detest me doing.

"Look, guys I get your methods, I really do, but this is not what she would've wanted. We all know she would've laughed and made some snarly comment. Now look at us we're sitting here in the damn detention room like fucking prisoners."

"You didn't have to fight with us. It wasn't your fight." Snarled Blaze and that only made me angrier.

"I know it wasn't my fucking fight Blaze, if it wasn't for that bitch over there I wouldn't be in here. What I'm trying to get you to understand and get through that empty head of yours is that you can't fight everyone that got something nasty to say."

"That's why we are the way we are now Kitty. We don't fight for anything, not even ourselves. Look it's not the right time for this conversation. Pass me my bag Echo."

I groaned as I sat on the table, unable to sit still any longer. I watched as Blaze dug through his bag and pulled out a folded piece of paper. I recognized what he had almost immediately, acid. That was it.

"If any of you take that, I swear I won't ever talk to you again."

"Oh please Kitty, you've done it before also."

"I quit Blaze and so did you. Was I the only one that heard the don't fall back into the negatives part? Like I said take that and don't consider me your friend anymore. You say we don't fight for anything. I'm fighting to change and I will not be pulled down because you can't handle your emotions Blaze." My hands were starting to shake. I didn't know if I was getting through to any of them. I didn't know if anyone of them would call me on my bluff.

"She's dead kitty. Do you know what that means? It means she's never coming back. She's never fucking coming back. It was sign, Kitty. The minute we started to change something bad happens. Why ignore the signs? I say we go back to how everything was before this little group formed."

His words were like tiny knives stabbing at my heart. I could see him struggling to hold back the tears, and that's when I realized what was going on with him. I sighed and I got off the table and walked over to where he sat. Sitting down on his lap I wrapped my arms around him tightly and just hugged him. The tears were already starting to come down my face. A few seconds later his body began to shake as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"She can't be dead Kitty. I was in love with her. It's all my fault. If I hadn't wanted that damn ice cream, she'd be here with us." He said his voice cracking horribly. I sat up and stared him in the eyes, wiping away his tears as he did the same for me.

"It's not your fault Blaze, don't ever think that. We know whose fault it is, he'll get what's coming to him one day. She was in love with you too Blaze. She told me so. She just wasn't sure when it was the right time to tell you. Now please give that to me, I'll flush it. Don't fall into the negatives, remember that." He nodded his head as he placed the folded up piece of paper in my hand. Soon after the teacher came saying we were free to go. On out way out I went into the bathroom and flushed the acid. Before meeting back up with the guys I grabbed my razor and slid it horizontally across my wrist. More tears came out as I bled.

Nobody likes a hypocrite kitten.

My heart broke hearing those words, but this was the only way I could continue to be strong for everybody else. As I said before this razor is my best friend.