Everything Will Change

"So, I'm hosting a little party tomorrow night! There will be around 5 to 10 people, it would be fun if you showed up," Michael said after our non-religious activities.

"Oh dear Michael, already addicted to me aren't you?" I replied.

"It will just be easier to have you in my bed my dear Luke. Think about it, we'll both be high and drunk, it will be nice!" Michael said.

"I guess you're right. You had me with the words bed, high and drunk. But I have one condition," I replied.

"What is it blondie?" He asked.

"I can bring one of my friends," I answered. That would be a nice occasion to initiate Ashton to my fun world.

"As long as we have sex after the party, I have no problem with your friend showing up," Michael said before kissing me passionately.

"Round 2?" I proposed.

"You read my mind," Michael agreed.

****
I woke up at around 3am in Michael's bed. I didn't want to seem like a dependant guy so I grabbed my things and left his house quietly.

I made my way home hoping everybody would be asleep. Even though I don't care about getting into trouble, I don't feel like being yelled at in the middle of the night.

My hopes fell down when I slowly opened the door and saw Ashton's mother sitting in the living room watching TV.

"Luke?" She asked.

"Yeah! You can go tell my lovely father about it so he will yell at me nice and good," I answered.

"I won't tell your father, under one condition," Lorie said.

"I would rather being yelled at than cleaning the house," I replied.

"I wasn't going to ask you to clean the house, we have a maid for that. I want you to stop making Ashton lie about your where abouts. He has never lied to us until you came in," She said. He lied for me again?

"Whatever Ashton told you, I never asked him to lie for me. I can handle getting into trouble without him protecting me or whatever he is trying to do," I replied.

"Yeah sure. Just go to bed Luke, it's late," Lorie said before giving her attention back to her boring TV show.

I walked to my room, not caring about whatever Lorie thinks. I opened my room's door quietly so I wouldn't wake up Ashton. It was no use since I could tell he wasn't asleep because he was on his phone.

"Had a fun night?" Ashton asked as he put his phone away.

"Yup," I replied.

"Chill!" He said.

Nothing else was said. I didn't bother in getting changed into night clothes. I just laid in my bed, waiting to fall asleep. But there was one night that I needed to clarify.

"Hey, are you awake?" I asked.

"Yeah, I am," He answered.

"You should stop lying for me Ash," I said. "Don't get into trouble for me, it's not worth it."

"Yeah eum, I don't know... I mean I just don't want you to get into trouble. Even though you say that you don't care about being caught and being in trouble, I just don't like seeing you being yelled at by your father," Ashton replied.

"But Ash, you will get into trouble for doing this! Your mom already seems pissed off and it will get worst with time...And I know how you don't want that," I mentionned.

"Maybe I don't care that much anymore," Ashton replied.

"Ash..." I said.

"I mean it Luke! Like I said before, I'm tired of doing what people are expecting me to do. I feel like I've never lived for myself! I've only lived for everyone else but me. I've never done anything I really wanted to do. And lying for you is one thing I want to do, even though it is bad," Ashton said.

I could totally understand what Ashton was saying. I guess we were similar on this point: just wanting to do whatever we want to. Unlike him, I never let anyone tell me what to do. If I had let them, I would be just like Ashton. I would seem to be a happy guy, but inside of me I wouldn't.

''Have you ever thought about moving out of this place? Like, you could find your own place where you could start your own life and do whatever you want to,'' I said.

''Yeah, I did, more than once. But I guess I'm scared. My mom said she would stop paying for my studies if I ever move out. She said she would pay for me as long as I live with her and your dad. It just sucks you know. She has so much control on me. I know that, I feel it. I'm just too scared to get out of it. I mean, what if I don't get enough money for my studies? I love studying, I really do. And like, I've never done anything on my own, I never took my own decisions. That's why I'm afraid of moving out. Even though I want to, I don't have the guts to do it,'' Ashton replied.

''There's a first time for everything Ash. Don't let your fears dominate you. I know you could do this if you want to,'' I reassured him.

''I guess you're right. Damn, I'm so jealous of you Luke. Everything seems so easy for you,'' He said.

''Things don't have to be hard for you Ashton. Don't let them be difficult, make them be easy and cool. Life will get so much better for you if you do this. You'll see how fun life can be, you will start enjoying it,'' I replied.

''Yeah, you're right. Thanks for listening to me and giving me some advices. I appeciate it. You are mature for a 17 years old rebel.'' He said.

''A FUN 17 years old rebel. Oh, talking about rebel...Michael is throwing a small party later! I asked him if I could invite you and he say yes. It would be nice if you showed up. There will be a maximum of 10 persons,'' I proposed.

''Yeah, I don't know. You know how akward I can be when I attend parties. I don't want them to think I'm a loser because I don't drink or smoke,'' Ashton replied.

''Ash, stop worrying about stuff like that. Nobody will force you to do things you don't want to do. I don't know the other guys that will attend the party, but for what I know, Michael is a cool guy. He won't think you're a loser. I'll be there if anything happens. Please Ash, it would be fun,'' I said.

''I don't know Luke...'' Ashton replied.

''I thought you wanted to have fun, it would be a great occasion, come on!'' I pleaded.

''Okay, fine! But if I don't like it, I leave,'' Ashton agreed.

''You won't regret it, I promise!'' I assured him.

And with that, we both fell asleep until we would have to wake up to head to our extremely boring job. I couldn't wait for the night.

******

We reached Michael's house at 11PM. Gladly, Ashton still agreed to come with me even though we was scared. I got his mom and my dad to let us go out. I'm not crazy, I didn't tell them we were going to a party. I told some bullshit about going bowling and stuff. My father didn't agree at first, but Lorie made him change his mind.

Getting ready for the party was another thing. Ashton wouldn't stop worring about looking like and idiot. He didn't want to wear his own clothes because he thought they were ugly. I let him borrow some of my clothes: a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey tank top. He looked extremely sexy in those clothes.

Back to the party. I knocked on Michael's door. It opened a minute later, revealing an already drunk Michael. Let the fun begin.

''Hey Luke!'' He greeted. ''Who's your friend?''

''I'm Ashton, nice to meet you,'' Ashton replied. I was surprised that he answered the question, maybe he just stopped worrying and just wanted to have fun after all.

''Well come in guys!'' Michael said.

We followed him inside and he led us downstairs where we were met by the familiar scent of alcohol mixed with weed that I love so much. 2 people were dancing and drinking while 2 others were smoking.

''Do you guys want a beer?'' Michael asked.

''What kind of question is that? Yeah!'' I agreed.

''Euh..yeah.'' Ashton replied. Did he really want to, or was he just trying to fit in?

Michael came back a few seconds later with our beers in his hands.

''Well, enjoy the party guys! And Luke, I'll see you later,'' Michael said.

''Of course,'' I replied in a flirtatious tone.

Ashton and I sat on an empty couch. I took a big mouthful of my beer and Ashton did the same.

''You don't have to drink if you don't like it,'' I said as I noticed his expression showing he wasn't enjoying it at all.

''No. They'll think I'm a loser,'' Ashton replied. ''Have you seen all those guys? They are like so cool, just like you. And there is me, the pathetic 20 years old who doesn't know how to have fun.''

''Will you stop being so hard on yourself Ash? It's so annoying. How many times will I have to tell you that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do? I told you tonight was about having fun, but you just seat there and keep getting anxious about things nobody cares about.'' I replied hashly.

What was I expecting? Did I really expect that Ashton could have fun and not worry about things? Did I really think he could change just for one night?

Why should I keep trying to show him what fun is if he doesn't make any effort. Why should I keep trying when he keeps complaining about stupid stuff? I have better things to do.

I drank what was left of my beer and grabbed Ashton's to drink it all as well. I'm sure not going to seat there with him if he is not even going to try to have a little fun. Luke Hemmings doesn't do that.

I stood up leaving Ashton on his own. I joined the stoners on the other couch who offered me a joint. It's has been less than a week since I last smoked and I really did missed it.

As I took a first puff, I saw Ashton standing up and heading to the stairs right next to me. He'll be better at home anyway. There, he will have nothing to worry about.

''Bye Ash,'' I yelled. ''Have fun getting back home.''

He didn't reply, he simply ignored me. As he was going up upstairs, another guy was coming downstairs. I recognized him as the guy we say on the beach the other night, his ex.

''Ashton Irwin, already leaving the party, aren't you?'' His ex asked.

Ashton didn't reply. He wasn't moving, his eyes were fixed on that guy.

''Cat got your tongue? Not a big waste, you never knew how to use it anyway,'' The guy said.

Even though it was mean, I couldn't help but laugh a little, so did the others. But my mood changed when I saw how hurt Ashton was. He climbed the stairs faster than a cheetah.

I don't why, but I needed to follow him. Maybe it's because of alcohol. I always care a little more about people when I drink. Sober me doesn't care if people are sad. I followed him outside and I could hear him crying.

''Why are you crying Ashy?'' I asked.

''Just go back inside Luke,'' He replied sadly.

''Why?'' I wondered. ''Don't you want a friend to tell all your problems?''

''I don't need a friend like you. I saw you laughing down there, I saw how amused you were. I also thought that you would be more comprehensive about my fears, but I was wrong. I thought you actually cared about me, but you don't. You really don't care about people. All that matters is you. So yeah, don't bother with me anymore. I'll go tell my problems nobody cares about to someone else and you'll have all the time you want to go fuck everything that moves and scrap your health with drugs and alcohol,'' He replied.

He didn't give me time to reply. He just ran away, probably heading home. I have two options: follow him or get back inside. Being the selfish guy I am, I chose option 2.