These Four Words

A quick rap to my door left me slightly startled. I placed my oversized coffee cup down on my marble countertop. My feet scampered across the wood floor as I made my way to the front door. Without peeking in the hole to see who it was, I yanked the door open only to reveal a very angry looking Alex. My lips subconsciously turned downwards. What else was I expecting? “Uh—hello?” Without answering he stormed passed me. “Please come in, make yourself at home.” I told him sarcastically shutting the door with a bit too much force. Did he not own a phone to call me and prepare me for all of his surprise visits. Alex began pacing back and forth in my foyer without saying a word. He paused only to quickly glace at me and run a hand through his hair.

“Look Alex you cant just barge in here and not say anything. I mean I haven’t even heard anything from you for a week! So you either need to spit it out or leave.” I spit out in a hurry. I took a quick glance at my watch; worried I was going to miss my nine o’clock meeting if he didn’t hurry this up. All of his pacing was increasing my already bad anxiety.

“I came over a few days after the last time we chatted. I wanted to apologize and let you know that I broke off my engagement.”

“What the fuck?” It was the first thing that came to my mind. He broke off his engagement? Oh god.

Alex looked at me and laughed. “I broke it off because I realized there is only you.” My heart sored. I looked at him with wide eyes. “And then I saw this Sunday morning.” Alex tossed me his phone, which I caught less than gracefully. I glanced down and my heart fell into my stomach. There was a picture of John and I at the party in Arizona. It was the moment John displayed his affection for me, very publically, with a messy kiss. Now I know why he was grinning so big. John saw the photographer and made sure to kiss me, to let everyone know that I was his. To let Alex know that he had me. I felt my anger growing.

“Alex,” I handed him back his phone mournfully. “I can explain.”

“Why should you?” He fired back with anger in his eyes. “You owe me nothing,” He spit.

“Alex look can we please just talk about this?”

He started to laugh again. “Talk? You want to talk? Oh this is just wonderful. You aren’t going to run from me this time? Huh?” I felt tears prick my eyes. That was a low blow.

“Alex—“

“NO!” He roared. “You don’t get to talk. How could you? With a friend of mine? And then to hide it from me? How long have you two been fucking? Did you do this to hurt me? Because it worked, Erin. You have officially broken me.” As if things couldn’t get worst. My door was thrown open to reveal a happy looking John, who had sunflowers in his hand. He looked at me with an adoring smile and then his eyes focused on the angry looking Alex. His mood changed pretty rapidly.

“Seriously?” Alex looked at John and then at me with such disdain. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. My cold, dead heart.

“I had no idea—“ I trailed off not being able to look at either one of them afraid they would see the tears that were beginning to form at the corner of my eyes.

“Uh,” John scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. “Good morning Alex?”

“You fucker!” Alex shouted before he took off towards John who hand barely anytime to react as Alex’s fist punched him across the face. I held back in my scream as blood came pouring out of John’s nose when he hit the floor. I quickly moved over to the two boys before this got out of hand.

“I supposed I deserved that,” John chuckled as he attempted to stop the bleeding with his hands.

“You suppose?” Alex seethed. “What the fuck man? You knew how much I loved her!”

“I know,” John groaned. “I just wanted to be her friend and then I wanted more.” He cringed knowing how bad that sounded. John glanced at me before turning back to Alex. “I wanted all of her.”

Alex took a step back processing all of this information. “Do you love her?” He asked John. I wanted to shout at the two. She was standing right here.

“I do,” He nodded his head. “And I can see you do too.”

“I broke it off with Liz,” He agreed running his hands through his dark hair.

“Shit,” John cursed. Alex nodded in agreement before offering his hand to help John up. John looked at the outstretched hand with caution before shaking his head and taking it. Alex lifted John up off the floor without much effort.

"Sorry for punching you." Alex murmured.

"I deserved it." John was struggling to contain the bleeding from his nose.

“Yeah.”

I felt so conflicted. Both of the men that I loved were in my living room—basically admitting to me their affection. I couldn’t pick right here. “You both need to go.” I told them sternly. “Please get out.” I moved over to the door while trying to avoid there obvious surprised looks. I was too busy trying to keep my breathing even. I could feel a panic attack coming on soon and when I blew up, it was ugly.

“You are kicking us out?” John clarified looking at me with wild eyes. I just nodded my head. I heard his deep sigh. “These are for you. I am sorry for the way I acted in Arizona.” John shoved the flowers in my hands before stomping out of my apartment.

“You too Alex,” I told him not making eye contact.

“You know we both wont stop fighting for you until you pick one of us.” Alex stated on his way out the door. “You are about to ruin a lot of friendships.” He shot me a slight smirk, as if he was proud of me. I rolled my eyes and slammed the door in his face. This was getting out of hand. I never wanted to cause any of this drama. I wish they both would have just left me alone.

I checked the clock once more and saw that it was already eight-thirty. I glanced down at the floors and saw some of the petals stuck in John’s blood. I grabbed an old washcloth from the kitchen and quickly cleaned up the mess. Once it was done, I slipped on my black pumps and grabbed my overcoat. Today already wasn’t my day.

I arrived at work just as the clock struck nine and dashed into the boardroom before they could shut me out. I felt like a mess and I know that I looked like one too. What a great first impression as the new editor. I claimed a seat off to the side without sparing anyone a second glance. I took out my Kate Spade planner and began jotting down the weekly highlights before they changed the slides. Catherine was up at the front of the table, chattering away about her perfect weekend with her new fiancé. I rolled my eyes. She wanted to find anything to throw in my face.

“Ophelia,” Anna spoke so softly I almost missed it. I lifted my head up slowly, afraid that she was going to yell at me for something. “I heard from HR that you have decided to go by Erin now, is that correct?”

My face flushed when I saw people lean in to whisper about me sudden name change, a move that could have a negative impact on my career. This was a step I had to take in order to move on. “Yes.”

“Ok,” Anna said giving me her version of a smile. “Moving on to Fashion week. As all of you know we are handing out tickets for each of you to attend fashion week since it is impossible for me to attend them all.” Everyone perked up in his or her seats. It was like this every year. No one really put any effort into their job up until fashion week when the golden tickets were up for grabs. While Paris and Milan were the two top runners, most of us were assigned to either NYC or San Fran. Anna still enjoyed traveling to Europe.

“Casey I need you, Jasper, Catherine, Katty, and Harold in San Francisco at the end of February to check out the shows there. Catherine, you are team coordinator. I’ll have my assistant email you with the shows that need to be attended.”

“Got it,” Catherine quickly wrote notes down before flashing me a grin. I guess she thought she was lucky because she didn't have to stick around for New York Fashion Week. Jokes on her because that was my favorite time of the year.

“Erin,” My head snapped back towards Anna and away from Catherine. “You and I will be attending NYC fashion week together.” I had to physically keep my mouth shut. Anna typically didn’t attend any shows with a plus one and if she did they were other designers or head editors from other magazines. “Just a few important shows like Dior and Ford.” I nodded my head while I started to make notes. “Then I want you to lead Alison, Dave, Jasper, and Grace to attend all the shows that we have been invited to.”

“Noted,” I smiled as I jotted down my team members.

“That isn’t it.” Anna pressed her lips into a firm line.

“I need you in Milan in three days.” This time I couldn’t stop the shock on my face, along with the rest of peanut gallery. This was a ton of responsibility and a lot of room for me to screw up.

“Of course,” I nodded my head. I was already making a mental note to clear my schedule.

“And it will just be you.” I swallowed thickly. “You have four different shows that I need you in and then free roam to scope out any other shows you think it would be vital to have access to.”

“What are the four shows?”

“Armani, Au jour le jour, Fendi, and Pucci. I also heard that that Maxmara is putting on a Marilyn inspired collection; you might want to check that out as well.”

“It seems like a large job for just one person,” Catherine commented. “I would be happy to tag along to help Op—I mean Erin out.” Before I could even respond to Catherine, Anna beat me to the chase.

“Any new fashion exec should be able to handle an entire fashion week on her own.” She looked at me briefly before continuing the meeting, effectively letting me know that this job would determine my time as exec. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. We briefly discussed vlogs and color schemes before we were let out early. I rushed to my office, not even bothering to listen to the office chatter. Annabelle stuck her head in as soon as I sat down. She smiled approaching me with a coffee in her hand. She set it down on my desk before taking two steps back.

“Is it a good time to go over the details?”

I sighed running my hands over my keyboard. “Sure.” I took a large sip of my hot coffee and motioned for Annabelle to take a seat.

“Ok, so our flight leaves the twenty-eighth at nine am sharp.” I nodded knowing that we already had first class tickets. Vogue knew how to treat us right. “We land in Milan nine hours later. Giving us a few hours to do some background research on the additional shows that you need to attend. So far we have the four mandatory shows and the one that Anna would like you to attend. That is five hours out of this weekend.” I nodded barley keeping up. “So we have over twenty plus invitations. I need you to pick five more right now and then we can have a few spontaneous ones.”

I racked my brain trying to think of anything I really needed to see. “Uh lets see Gucci is a must when in Milan. Trussardi is a little edgy so I’d like to see that show.”

“Edgy is super trendy right now. Should we add Ter et Bantine?”

I snapped my fingers. “Yes! Their London fashion week blew me away. Go ahead and add Vivetta for some girly flare. What else am I missing?”

“Stella?” Annabelle offered looking unsure.

“Go ahead and add that one but we might be changing it later.”

“Ok. Continuing on. We have reservations at Boscolo. You have majority of your nights open for traveling and after parties. We will be back in the states by February third. Your fashion report is due the following day.”

I laughed. “A working vacation.” A good chance for me to clear my mind from my personal life. In the past month I had been slacking on my work responsibilities. This job had to be my life in order for me to be successful. I couldn't have any distractions.

“Pretty much. Pierre sent up some clothes from the closet for you to choose from.” My eyes lit up. This was the best part of my job, being able to raid the magazines closet. I thanked the lord I was a natural size two, so majority of everything fit me like a glove.

“Ah!” I jumped up ready to let Pierre in as soon as I saw his blonde mop of hair. “Pierre!”

“My beauty!” He exclaimed walking into my office followed by a hanger of dresses, bags, shoes, and jackets.

“All for moi?” I asked running over to the hanger. I began to pick out my favorites.

“Only the best for my beauty.” Pierre winked and started tagging the outfits I liked.

“I can’t believe they are giving me access to all of this,” I told him amazed. “This bag isn’t even on the radar for another year.”

“You are a lucky bitch.” He mumbled.

“Ah I better not screw this up.” I mussed.

“If anyone can single handedly conquer Milan fashion week, it’s you.”

“I hope you are right.”