Death Would Have Been Easier

Harley couldn't breathe when she woke the following morning or maybe it was just difficult to breathe and it smelt like man funk armpit in her face. She groaned and wriggled around, trying to feel her surroundings. She had someone laying almost completely on her.
"Wake the fuck up!" The small woman hollered into the armpit. Jimmy's chuckling could be heard as he raised himself up and off of her.
"Good morning, lovely Harley!" He beamed down at her.
"You smell and you're heavy as fuck." Harley stated, giving him her morning glare.
He pouted, "I do not stink!"
"Trust me, when your armpit is smooshing my face; I can definitely smell you."
"Shut up," Zack moaned from beside the two. "It's too early for morning bickering."
Harley looked up at the clock, noticing that it was almost mid afternoon.
"Z, it's not even morning!" She laughed.
Both their heads shot up to look at the clock and cursed under their breath.
"We're gonna get our balls so busted." Jimmy whined, while getting up and stretching.
"Why, what's wrong?" She asked, not sure why the two were pacing around her apartment.
Zacky sighed, "Matt wanted a band meeting at two this afternoon."
As if on cue, Jimmy's phone went off.
"Yea Matt. We overslept," Jimmy paused. "No, Zacky's with me. We're at Harley's place. We had a sleepover," One more pause and a wicked grin from Jimmy. "We had the most delicious threesome."
Harley's face turned beat red and she could hear Matt screaming at the two through the phone and she couldn't help myself as she burst out laughing.
Matt could clearly hear Harley's charming laughter through the phone and it made his heartache worse. She was laughing and being carefree with his best friends.
He listened to her laugh briefly. "Get your fucking asses here! Right the fuck now! I don't fucking care what the fuck you did or who the fuck you're with! The band is more important then some fucking twat!" He growled at Jimmy.
Jimmy refrained from telling his friend off, but oh how he did. He knew Matt wouldn't typically call Harley a twat and that he didn't truly mean it; however he did say it and it pissed Jimmy off like no other.
"We'll be there when we get there. Deal with it." Jimmy said before hanging up the phone.
Harley sat there, her face red from laughing so hard and so much. The taller man smiled down at his precious friend. She looked so happy at that moment and it made his heart weep knowing as soon as they left, she would no longer be this smiling and happy person he was used to.
Jimmy could see her sadness in her eyes. The way her eyes no longer twinkled when she smiled or laughed, or how her smile seemed shallow; like she practiced smiling and it was just an act to smile in front of him. He envied her that she was able to put on a façade so well, but he knew, deep down in Harley's heart, it was cold and shattered and just a shell of what it once was. He knew Harley was no longer the girl she was when she was back in California.
"Well that was boss man. We've gotta jet, Harley." Jimmy motioned with his thumb towards the door.
"You gonna be okay?" Zacky asked, glancing over her.
"Yea, guys. Thanks for hanging out with me last night. It was a blast!" She smiled at them, forcing her the edges of her lips upwards and her heart to stop aching. She didn't want to be left alone.
The trio hugged before the two men left out the door.
Harley stared at the closed door, catching her lower lip between her teeth.
Her fingers twitched.
Don't. She told herself. She could feel her demons slipping to the surface and she tried shaking them. She couldn't let them come back so soon. Not right after her friends left.
They're leaving soon, anyways.
They're famous.
You're nothing to them.
Harley clenched her fists and walked into the kitchen, pulling down the vodka and a glass, along with an envelope she didn't notice.
It was going to be a long night.
Matt glared at his fellow band mates. "And how is she?"
Zacky couldn't help the cocky grin that slid into place on his face, "Wouldn't you like to know?"
Matt growled his frustration, "Are you going to tell me?"
Jimmy shrugged, "You could always ask her yourself, she'll be at our last show with a V.I.P pass."
"When did you tell her about that?" Zacky asked.
"I didn't. I put it in her liquor cabinet!" Jimmy laughed.
The other two men stared at their friend like he grew a second head.
"You didn't notice her bloodshot eyes, or how her liquor cabinet was fully stocked?" The tall man asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Can't say I really did. I mean I know her sleep pattern is really off, so I chalked the bloodshot eyes to that." Zacky shrugged.
Jimmy sighed, "I'm almost positive she's getting drunk right now."
"And you idiots left her alone?" Matt stressed.
"You were the one that called us here." Zacky stated.
Matt left through the front door, the other two following closely behind, asking where their friend was going.
"Obviously I'm going to go check on her."
"You know where she lives?" The tallest man asked.
"First thing I did was look up her address in a phone book. I got it on GPS already."
"What makes you think she'll let you in?"
"She's drunk. She has no common sense when she's drunk." Matt shrugged, hoping that he was right as he left towards her apartment.
Harley was already on her sixth drink of straight vodka. Her world blurred and tilted and she laughed all her worries away. This was her escape from everything and it made her feel the worst ways of being alive.
A sudden, loud banging on her apartment door, had her cackling as she wobbled over to it and opening it.
"Matty! My boy!" She squealed in delight.
Matt stared at his once best friend and shook his head. What had she let herself become?
"Come on, you're going to get sobered up." He growled, grasping her arm and towing her towards where he assumed the bathroom was.
The small woman giggled hysterically. "Didn't you miss me?"
"I didn't miss this, Harls." He ground out, sitting her down on the toilet seat.
The burly man turned on the shower to ice cold and lifted Harley in to the bathtub. Her shrill scream rang in his ears and he groaned. She started thrashing under the water, soaking him in the process.
"Calm the fuck down, Harley. What's your problem?" He yelled at her.
Harley's dull blue eyes raised to meet his hazel eyes, "You are." She whispered.
Matt's eyes roamed over his friend's face. Her face was still sunken in, she was still pale, her eyes were more grey than blue and she was weak. She was weak because the fight she once had in her, no longer existed and it was his fault.
The woman could see the man calculating, trying to see what damage was done and how to fix it. That was Matt for you, he wanted to fix things; even if they could never be fixed.
"I'm not something that can be fixed. There's no repairing me. It's too late for me, Matt." Harley bit her lip and tears filled her eyes.
"But, I've realized something in the past four years, Lee." Matt whispered.
"And what's that?"
"I'm in love with you."