Sex and Donuts

"I'm going to eat one of their pastries today, Hipster Bitch or no, I'm getting that donut into my mouth!" I exclaimed as I straightened my hair.
"I'm sure a donut isn't the only thing you want in your mouth." Anna replied.
"Ew, no." I looked her way with a chunk of my hair in between the plates of the flat iron.
"Just saying, you talk about this guy so much you must not hate him as much as you are leading on."
"I talk about him so much because he annoys me so much, I don't want his dong anywhere near this mouth hole." I said quickly.
"Well, you better move that flat iron, your hair is literally smoking." Anna said, I looked up and quickly released the iron to reveal a very hard chunk of hair.
"Oh...my...god..." I ran my fingers through the chunk and it just fell right off, the hair fell to the floor like my hopes and dreams for happiness," OH MY GOD!" I finally yelled.
"You'll have to wear a hat now." Anna said, as she ran her fingers through my hair," pretty big chunk too."
"Hats make my face look way fatter than it is." I said as I encased my cheeks in my hand.
"Well, you're going to have to get over it unless you want the Hipster Bitch to get a look at your new edgy style." Anna looked me in the eyes," get ready so we can go, my stomach is about to eat itself."

1 Hour Later
Anna and I were walking down the sidewalk, the Bakery at the Lake was in view," you actually made an effort today, I guess you want to get some schlong today."
"No matter how I dress I will attract the dick, but I feel like if I dress nice I will attract the nice dick." I replied, sweetly.
Head to toe: maroon thick knit beanie, just so I can cover up that new bald spot, my hair was half straightened so I pinned back the half that was straightened because it was a botched job anyway. My makeup wasn't the greatest, my eye shadow was all black and blended out poorly and made me look like a raccoon, rawr, I had deep red lipstick on too,deep red is supposed to be ultra super erotic for men, so that choice in color was mostly for science. I had a maroon thick knit scarf wrapped around my neck, you guess it, it came with the hat, thanks mommy. I had a black tunic on that had a sheer back, showing off the bra, now that is super erotic, black tights that had a sheer line on each side of my legs,gotta show off my fat curvy thighs, and deep brown booties.
As I always say, if you feel like you look good, then you look good.
The two of us walked into the bakery, it smelled amazing. We turned around the corner to look at the cashier, it was a very young woman.
I'm a little disappointed, just to be honest.
"Welcome to Bakery at the Lake, how can I help you?" she said with a big smile, her teeth were all crooked in different directions, but it somehow worked for her....somehow.
"I will have a 16 ounce drip and a toasted croissant." Anna said as she opened her wallet.
"How toasted?" the cashier asked as she pulled a cup off the tower they had next to her.
"About as dark as Obama," she threw a five down onto the counter then put her wallet away.
"Okay~, I'll try my best." cashier put the cash away then looked to me," how about you?"
"Same, but I'd like one of your Danishes." I replied, pointing to a little glass case full of them," that custard one looks divine."
"Of course, that'll be $5.30." she grabbed a wax paper sleeve out with a tong. I put a five dollar bill and two ones on the counter.
Anna and I collected our drinks then looked around towards the rest of the cafe. The main room of the cafe were just dining tables with chairs. But tucked away in the corner was a carpeted section, it had five love seats, all arranged in a way that had them sectioned off into two areas. There was a wood fireplace with three of the five love seats surrounding it with a coffee table in the middle, a brown rug underneath. The other two loveseats were directly behind the others across from each other with another coffee table in the middle. This table had a chess board painted on with a box of pieces beside it. It's definitely more homely on this side.
"Should we sit?" Anna asked, I nodded and we sat on one of the love seats. I looked at the chipped paint of the chess board, very well used.
"This seat is so worn it's like I'm being sucked in." I said as I laid back.
"Like all those babies into your vagina, right?" Anna asked.
"Could you guys move to a different chair?" an familiar voice asked," we want to play chess." I looked up and it was the one and only....Hipster Hot Dog.
"Well, well, well." I began," you hang out at your job even on your days off, is your life that uneventful?"
"Oh, I remember you, the hips that suck babies up like a UFO." he replied, I looked at his shirt, just ridiculous as the last button up he was wearing.
"So instead of hot dogs on your shirt you've got testicles?" I asked him, trying to be all smart.
"No, they're peaches."
"Let me guess, you entered a peach cobbler contest?"
"No, my mother just made the same shirt with different fabrics." wow, what a great response, he literally answered my question and didn't even insult me.
"Okay, well, we were leaving anyway." I looked at Anna and she nodded, we both got up and walked towards the door.
"He's kind of an ass." Anna said once we stepped outside.
"You're telling me." I replied, I looked down at the wax paper bag," I need to eat this."
"The croissant was pretty good." Anna replied," come on, let's go and shop, it'll make you feel better, your hair needs fixed anyway."
That's true, I'd rather whine in a new dress.