Break on Me

There was nothing in the world that Jax wanted more than to find the prick that could steal the innocence away from a child, and to give Osewald’s daughter the justice she deserved. After the intense morning in chapel with Clay, Jax was more than ready to let out some steam and beat the living hell out of the sick bastard, but when Osewald also showed up out of nowhere during club business, a pit formed in Jax’s stomach. He understood why a father would want to be the one to serve his daughter justice, but he couldn’t see why Clay was allowing this to happen. It was messy, and not at all the way the club would ever handle a situation like this.

After arriving back at funtown and having a standoff with the rest of the crew, the clown who was guilty was easily given up by the rest of pricks. They hauled his ass up in the woods before the cops could come and this was when Osewald showed up.

“For your little girl,” Clay said looking Osewald in the eye, while the rest of the men stood and watched the interaction.

The man was now tied up on the ground screaming and crying like the pathetic piece of shit that he was. Osewald grabbed the knife out of Clay’s hands, before choking back a sob and returning the knife back to Clay- who Jax had just noticed was wearing gloves.
.
“I can’t do it. I’m sorry,” Osewald said as he quickly got into his car and took of down the road.

Clay just took the knife and followed through with the plan, castrating the man and leaving him to bleed out. He handed the merchandise to a gagging half-sack, as Jax became more and more uneasy.

“What the hell are we doing here,” Jax finally asked having enough of this stupid fucking game. The plan was to get justice for the girl not to blackmail Osewald and create a messy situation for the club.

“Just taking out some real estate insurance,” clay said looking jax dead in the eye.
It all clicked.

Osewald was the business backbone behind Charming. The more developed charming got the less Clay could control it and everyone that was in it. Now, Osewald could not buy or sell any land without Clay’s approval or else the knife covered in Osewald’s prints would show up on the district attorney’s desk without hesitation.

Not only was this plan dangerous, but there was not one vote casted to approve it.

The club always worked on the power of majority, and Clay made this decision on his own.

Jax’s temper reached an all-time high, as he shook his head trying to reason with the thoughts inside of his head, “you want me to be your number two and protect this club, I’ve got to know where you’re taking us,” while the statement came out level headed and provoked clay to admit what he was doing, Jax knew this façade would not last long if Clay ever pulled another stunt like this.

It was reckless, stupid, and against club policy, but if it meant keeping developers out of charming and out of Jax’s hair it was a pill he would try and swallow.

After half sack finished throwing up, and digging the grave for the now ballless and lifeless body, Jax helped him lower the mess into the hole.

“I never wanted to be involved in your shit half-sack, but as your brother you need to go see them,” Jax simply stated and walked away leaving half-sack to think about what was just said.

Lilah’s p.O.V
The soft knock woke me from the dreamless sleep that I had fallen into after spending three hours just blankly staring at Luke and his pale frame lying motionless in the bed. The anxiety had yet to lift from my chest, except for the short amount of time that I had spent with Jax the night before, even though the doctors had confirmed an hour ago, that the fever was indeed caused by an infection- and one that was easy to treat.

I turned my head expecting to find a nurse, but instead meeting a pair of bloodshot, tear filled eyes.
“Lilah,” was all Kip managed to get out before a full on sob erupted from his mouth. Any anger that I had held dissipated the moment I heard the pain in his voice.

I quickly jumped up out of my chair, and rushed to help my other brother who was clearly in need of healing as well.

“God, I am so sorry, I should never have distanced myself. I- I just didn’t know how to handle it all. Mom and dad, and then my tour, and then Luke sick again. I can’t keep up. I can’t.” my heart broke with every sentence that came out.

“Kip, look at me,” I said my hands on either side of his face,
“you don’t have to keep up all by yourself, this is what siblings do for each other. That is why I need you. I can’t keep up with this by myself either. I love you so much, and I need you just as much as you need us,” my own tears now falling heavily from my eyes.

I moved my arms so I was now hugging Kip, and for the first time in years felt like a piece of me that I had lost so long ago, just found its way back.

“You know if I knew I just had to almost die, just to get you two to talk again I would have done it a long time ago,” Luke’s strained voice came from behind us.
I pulled away and laughed through the tears,
“God we are so fucked up,” I said as I enclosed both of my brothers’ hands in my own, a genuine smile tugging on the corners of my face.'

**

The anxiety that I assumed I would feel leaving Kip to spend the night with Luke instead of me was actually minimal. After years apart the trust that I had lost had immediately repaired itself after seeing the intense look in Kip’s eyes as the nurses were explaining all of Like’s schedule for the night and for the look of pure hurt he gave Luke when he finally had the chance to talk to him. I could hear how sorry he was, no I could feel how sorry he was, and if he wasn’t my brother I would be extremely apprehensive about letting him back into our lives but after our mini reunion I allowed myself to take a step back from caregiver mode and feel just how exhausted I really was. Running on 3 hours of sleep every night was not something that was going to help Luke and now that I had Kip back, he offered to take the night shift after calling and checking in with the club.

The fact that he had to call the club to check bothered me at first, but I knew I had to be somewhat understanding, after all, they had helped him and took him in when he was in really bad shape and was his family when he couldn’t face his own. I also had a small feeling that Jax had a lot to do with Kip showing up tonight, and the feeling of gratitude propelled me to drive to Teller Morrow before heading home.

I pulled up outside of the gate, and saw the line of Harleys parked outside of the shop and also took in the few others that I had never seen before and realized there were many more people here than I would have thought. I knew that I should have called but my confidence after the night I spent with Jax had skyrocketed, and was now faltering as I climbed out of my car and took in the party like atmosphere I could see through the small back window.

“Hey you,” I heard the raspy voice come from behind me. I turned around and found Jax much closer to me than I had anticipated. Again, the confidence that I once had seemed to fly right out the window when his sky blue eyes peered into mine, his confidence very apparent.

“Hey I, um, I just wanted to thank you for, well, for everything,” I said regaining my composure.
“I know that Kip didn’t just show up on his own, and I also know that the other night was such a shit show and I’m so sorry that I had to break down in front of you,” I could feel my emotions coming to the surface again as he just stared at me with an unreadable expression.

Jax’s POV

I stayed quiet for a minute, taking in what she was saying. I knew that she was nervous, but it was amazing how genuine each word came out sounding. My heart swelled when I realized she was once again apologizing for the other night,

“Lilah,” I said causing her to finally look up at me, “You can break on me anytime that you want. You are so strong, but sometimes you need to just let yourself feel everything that you keep bottled up inside,” I said not knowing where the words were coming from seeing as how an hour earlier I had planned to distance myself from the small girl standing in front of me. I knew I was no good for her, but every time she talked to me she shattered any hint of reason and logic I had. She was stronger than the whole club put together, and the worst part was that she had no idea how strong she really was.

Her eyes seemed to change color as they became glossy with tears. She didn’t say anything as she took a step forward. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her frame and held her close to my chest. The feeling of warmth spread through my entire body, and again any logic that had started to creep its way into my brain vanished.

I pulled away and held her face in my hands, “Stay over tonight,” I asked her hoping that she would say yes. The party inside the club had started well over an hour ago, but I had no interest in joining. A month ago I would have probably already had a crow eater in my bed, but the only thing that I wanted to do was to spend the night with the woman in front of me.

She just nodded her head as I led her to my bike and helped her climb onto the back. We rode away in silence and I didn’t allow myself to think for the entire ride, knowing that if I did I would be second guessing every decision I was making.

I stopped in front of my house, letting Lilah off the bike at her own pace. I lead her into the dark house and down the dark hallway leading to my room. It had been a long time since I had actually stayed in the house, but sleeping at the club was becoming nearly impossible.

All I did was lie awake at night thinking about how everything was changing, and it was starting to scare the shit out of me.

Lilah reached out and touched my face interrupting my thoughts, “Hey where do you keep going in there,” she said being able to read how deep into my thoughts I was.

“A bad place darlin’,” I answered truthfully not wanting to really dive into it but also knowing that this woman had a way of making me feel things I had never felt.

“Well when you wanna talk about that bad place, I’m here,” she said casting a genuine smile up at me, biting her bottom lip in the process, something that I had noticed was a nervous tick of hers.

This threw me over the edge as I pulled her closer to me and crashed my lips onto hers. Each movement that had always felt so calculated and forced, felt so right and natural with Lilah and I knew that if I wasn’t who I was, it was a feeling that I would want to have every day of my life.

The logic that I had been able to keep at bay for the last hour came crawling its way back into my stomach, and I knew that as long as she was a part of my life she would always feel hurt- long after Luke healed, and long after half-sack became a part of her family again- there would always be me putting her in danger, and lying to her, and not allowing her to live her life the way she deserved to.
Her hands traveled up my chest and pulled at my hair, and I was gone.

Tonight, I would be hers but tomorrow I would do right by her, and keep my distance. It was the only way.

I moved my hands down her back and rested them on the top of her jeans shorts. The hunger within in me being lit by a fire the minute she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. I spun us around and with some force brought her down to the bed as her hands worked at undoing my belt. I took of my cut and discarded it onto the floor behind me, and then moved to remove her soft white t-shirt. Her eyes looked up at me filled with desire, and before either of us knew it the rest of our clothes were lying on the floor. I grabbed her once more and moved her to the center of my bed taking in her beauty in her exposed state. I leaned over her and began to trail kisses from her lips towards her belly button, each kiss releasing a moan from her pink lips. Not being able to take the noises that were filling the room I looked up at her and she just nodded. I reached over and grabbed the small aluminum package from my desk drawer, and slid the protection on before I moved my way back to Lilah. Before I could place myself in between her legs, she slowly sat up and placed her hands on my shoulders, pushing me back against the bed. Her legs now on either side of my hips her beautiful sapphire eyes found my own, as we moved in sync with each other never wanting this moment to end.