Status: Co-Write|Original Slash|Active|Regular Updates
Ticking Time Bomb
Raiden
I stare in shock at the door as Chris left me by myself within the clubhouse. I look down and realize that maybe Chris didn’t care about me as much as he said. I look away and walk over to my bag, I pick up a razor blade, and slip it into my pocket. I look around the room before quietly going to the window and opening it, I quickly slip out before any of the club members could see me. I look over my shoulder before heading towards Andy’s old apartment. Chris was supposed to be my escort, but he ever so easily abandoned me so I would just go on my own. I quietly slip into the apartment and look around for the location of the journal. I found the fake drywall façade and pulled the journal from within its hiding spot.
I look around the room and my eyes immediately land on the blood pool that was created when I was stabbed. I looked away quickly only to see the blood pool that had formed from the murder of Micah. I felt a familiar begin in my chest and dropped to my knees on the floor. I held my head as I sobbed through the PTSD episode, “please don’t hurt me anymore Andy, I’m so sorry, please…” I begged for nothing. Andy wasn’t here. My conscious mind knew that, but I was reliving my worst nightmare. I look up and see Andy standing there with a knife, I scream and back away quickly only to realize that it was just a hallucination. Andy was on the run, he wasn’t here, he wasn’t going to ever come back here. He couldn’t.
I stood up with shaky legs and walk to my old room, “I’m sorry Andy, I’ll go back to my room,” I whisper as I open the door to my room and curl up by the radiator he used to keep me chained to. I couldn’t stop myself, it was like I was on autopilot, I took the blade from my pocket and slowly but steadily I made several cuts in my arm. Some were deep and some barely damaged the top layer of skin, but I relished in the comfort of the family feeling. I curled into a ball and hid my head in my legs as I sob in fear. I feel a pair of hands touch my arms and I scream in fear that Andy had returned. I fought the hands off until I could hear the voice of Jonas reassuring me that it was just him.
I look up as tears ran down my face, “J-Jonas…” I whispered.
He nods, “it’s just me Raiden, I’d gotten word that Chris had left you alone and came to check on you. When we found you missing I assumed you would’ve come here for the journal. I didn’t want you going alone any more than you wanted to go alone because I knew you wouldn’t be strong enough to face the scene yet,” he said as he took my arms. He notices the cuts and finds a towel to wrap around my arm, “it’s time to get out of here, Chris hasn’t been notified yet,” he said.
I shake my head quickly, “n-no, if I leave Andy will be mad I’m not here,” I say stuck in my own nightmare.
Jonas picked me up, “no Raiden, Andy isn’t coming back here and never will be again. Remember? Andy tried to kill you, you fled, and now he’s on the run,” Jonas said trying to make me realize what my subconscious mind already knew.
I nod slowly, “yes, I-I remember, I’m so sorry Jonas,” I whisper as I snapped from it. I felt shameful that I’d created so many problems.
“Where is he?!” I heard Chris yelling as he was pushing his way through, “Oh god, Raiden! I’m so sorry,” he said running up to me. I turned away from him and held my arm close to my body.
Jonas escorted the both of us to the cars that were waiting outside, Jonas got in the car with Chris and I since I knew now I needed to tell Chris was I had told him. I look down at my lap as I think of how to start.
I take a deep breath, “In the room when I jumped you, I wasn’t myself. I was reliving the times that I was forced to sleep with Andy’s friends, accomplices, whatever they were. I was a prostitute for Andy, Chris. That’s what I told Jonas. I was forced to have sex with one, two, sometimes eight guys in a row and they never cared how I felt. I told him this because that’s one area Andy might go to. I hope you’re happy now…” I said quietly and turned away from him, “there’s a lot you don’t know, I lied about a lot during the times before moving in with Andy, don’t force me to tell you before I’m ready,” I said as I closed my eyes and held my arm close to my body. The cuts were beginning to clot and stop bleeding as I sat there. I dropped the journal in Jonas’s lap, “it’s in code, I’ll tell you the code later...” I added before going mute and refusing to talk for the rest of the ride.
I ignored the anger, disbelief, and guilt on Chris’s face. It happened, there was no taking it back now.
I look around the room and my eyes immediately land on the blood pool that was created when I was stabbed. I looked away quickly only to see the blood pool that had formed from the murder of Micah. I felt a familiar begin in my chest and dropped to my knees on the floor. I held my head as I sobbed through the PTSD episode, “please don’t hurt me anymore Andy, I’m so sorry, please…” I begged for nothing. Andy wasn’t here. My conscious mind knew that, but I was reliving my worst nightmare. I look up and see Andy standing there with a knife, I scream and back away quickly only to realize that it was just a hallucination. Andy was on the run, he wasn’t here, he wasn’t going to ever come back here. He couldn’t.
I stood up with shaky legs and walk to my old room, “I’m sorry Andy, I’ll go back to my room,” I whisper as I open the door to my room and curl up by the radiator he used to keep me chained to. I couldn’t stop myself, it was like I was on autopilot, I took the blade from my pocket and slowly but steadily I made several cuts in my arm. Some were deep and some barely damaged the top layer of skin, but I relished in the comfort of the family feeling. I curled into a ball and hid my head in my legs as I sob in fear. I feel a pair of hands touch my arms and I scream in fear that Andy had returned. I fought the hands off until I could hear the voice of Jonas reassuring me that it was just him.
I look up as tears ran down my face, “J-Jonas…” I whispered.
He nods, “it’s just me Raiden, I’d gotten word that Chris had left you alone and came to check on you. When we found you missing I assumed you would’ve come here for the journal. I didn’t want you going alone any more than you wanted to go alone because I knew you wouldn’t be strong enough to face the scene yet,” he said as he took my arms. He notices the cuts and finds a towel to wrap around my arm, “it’s time to get out of here, Chris hasn’t been notified yet,” he said.
I shake my head quickly, “n-no, if I leave Andy will be mad I’m not here,” I say stuck in my own nightmare.
Jonas picked me up, “no Raiden, Andy isn’t coming back here and never will be again. Remember? Andy tried to kill you, you fled, and now he’s on the run,” Jonas said trying to make me realize what my subconscious mind already knew.
I nod slowly, “yes, I-I remember, I’m so sorry Jonas,” I whisper as I snapped from it. I felt shameful that I’d created so many problems.
“Where is he?!” I heard Chris yelling as he was pushing his way through, “Oh god, Raiden! I’m so sorry,” he said running up to me. I turned away from him and held my arm close to my body.
Jonas escorted the both of us to the cars that were waiting outside, Jonas got in the car with Chris and I since I knew now I needed to tell Chris was I had told him. I look down at my lap as I think of how to start.
I take a deep breath, “In the room when I jumped you, I wasn’t myself. I was reliving the times that I was forced to sleep with Andy’s friends, accomplices, whatever they were. I was a prostitute for Andy, Chris. That’s what I told Jonas. I was forced to have sex with one, two, sometimes eight guys in a row and they never cared how I felt. I told him this because that’s one area Andy might go to. I hope you’re happy now…” I said quietly and turned away from him, “there’s a lot you don’t know, I lied about a lot during the times before moving in with Andy, don’t force me to tell you before I’m ready,” I said as I closed my eyes and held my arm close to my body. The cuts were beginning to clot and stop bleeding as I sat there. I dropped the journal in Jonas’s lap, “it’s in code, I’ll tell you the code later...” I added before going mute and refusing to talk for the rest of the ride.
I ignored the anger, disbelief, and guilt on Chris’s face. It happened, there was no taking it back now.