Innocence

The next morning when Gloria comes to wake me, I’m already up. I was up half the night, trying to decide what I could possibly do to get out of it. Now, I’m sitting in the dining room, looking at my humungous muffin on my plate. By the looks of things at this moment, I’m not going to get out of it. I may make myself late on the first day, but that is about all I can do for myself right now.

Gloria ran my bath water and called me when it was ready. The cons to having a maid are that you don’t get to do anything for yourself. Yeah, that may be the point of having one, but it is just really irritating. Since you can’t do anything yourself, all you do is sit there and stare at the ceiling as everything is being done for you.

Just sitting there staring at the ceiling always gave me time to think about different things I usually don’t like to think about. Today as I wait for my bath, it’s Mike that pops into my head. Mike is always there with me when I drive to school. He’s there when I got to all of my classes, except for Chemistry. How could I do it without him now? I shook thoughts of Mike out of my head, and soaked in the steaming water.

It didn’t take long for the thoughts to reappear. I remember the first day of high school so clearly. Mike and I had no classes together and we were freaking out together. Well, I was freaking out, he was keeping it cool.

At lunch time we met up and I gladly gave him a hug. He played it cool again, just patting my back lightly. “I’m so glad to see you!” I squealed, not letting him go just yet.

“I’m glad to see you too.”

I let him go and took my place in the lunch line behind him. “So how were your first few classes?”

“Dull. My math teacher sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown.”

I smiled. “You mean Mrs. Durbar?”

He smiled too. “Yeah, you have her?”

“I just left her class.” We both laughed at the unsuspecting teacher. We were both so at ease when we were together. At least I knew that one period of the day was going to be a good one.

Now, going to a new school, there wasn’t going to be a period where Mike would be there by my side. He was almost my other half, the person that kept me together. Maybe my rebellious side had shown because Mike was the one that kept me sane.

That sounded silly though.

A knock on the door alerted me to the time. I only had a half hour before school started and I didn’t know how long it would take to get there. I rinsed the shampoo from my hair and blow-dried it. I grabbed a turquoise sweater from my closet and some straight leg jeans. Slipping into them, I looked at myself in the mirror.

This was the most flattering outfit I have worn in so long. The sweater clung to my stomach, my chest, and went down to the bottom of waist, just above my thighs. It showed every curve. My pants did the same, the dark wash looking nicely with the sweater. My hair was just the same, curly from the blow-drying. The only abnormality was that my arm looked bulking with the hard cast underneath the sleeve

I didn’t put on any makeup, sure it didn’t really matter, and slipped into some turquoise flats, running down the stairs.

No one was at the bottom, or in the living room where they usually are when I wake in the morning. I ran down the hallway where the dining room was and peaked into the dining room itself.

“Good Morning Candace!” said my mother, looking very pleased. She was sitting very close to my father, almost too close. The huge table was filled with fruit, bagels, toast, eggs and an assortment of juices.

Nathan turned to look in my direction. “Come eat before you go.”

I walked to the table and sat across from my mom.

“I didn’t get to say goodnight before you fell asleep last night. Are you excited for school today?” she asks, sipping her orange juice.

Truthfully, I had hidden from her. She had been in such a gloomy mood that it mad rubbed off on me. I had sat in the bath tub, having a pity party. I usually frowned upon them when my mom had them , but it almost felt nice to have one of my own.

“Yeah, I’m thrilled!” I said enthusiastically. That sounded so sincere…

“That’s great. I hear that the public school is a very great environment.” Nathan adds, not looking up from yesterday’s newspaper.

I scowl but he doesn’t see it. My mom does though.

“I’m sure you will make lots of friends, honey.” said my mom.

“I don’t care if I make friends or not!” I said to Nathan. I knew he didn’t say anything, but I wanted to show him how much I hated being here.

Nathan looked up from the paper then, startled by my sudden mood change.

“What?” he asks. He’s clearly confused about why I’m taking it out on him.

You know why. I say in my mind, shooting the words at him like knives. He doesn’t hear them , but he sure feels them.

“Candace, maybe you should settle down.” My mom cautions.

I stand. “Where’s my book bag?” I mumbled to myself leaving.

Nathan picks the paper back up from the table. “In the limo.”

When I was leaving I heard my mom say, “She is having a hard time with the move. Don’t take in personally.”

"You better take it personally" I said to myself as I stepped outside and closed the door a little harder than I intended. Okay, so that was really sudden. I take a deep breathe and try to control myself. Its just nerves, that’s all it is.

Charles was outside already, holding the door open for me to climb in. I thanked him politely and slide into the limo, always to the back where I sat in the corner, staring at my book bag on the other side of the small space. I felt childish acting this way, but I just couldn’t help getting angry with him. Who in their right mind would just forgive their father then and there?

No one would.

I scooted to the part of the seat where my book bag was, rummaging through it. There was a ten dollar bill in here for lunch money, attached to a note. I slipped the piece of paper out, and read the note.

Candace,
I sure hope that you have a wonderful first day of school today. I attached ten dollars because I know you wouldn’t forgive yourself if you didn’t get to eat lunch today. I’m sure you’ll make lots of friends. Have fun!

Love Mom

I grumbled at the note, throwing it back into my bag. What did my mom know anyway? It seemed like we were strangers now, so different from the way we were before that we could change our names and we would recognize each other.

The door flung open quicker than I thought, letting a burst of cold air rush through the vehicle.

“Have a good day.” Charles said, running to get back into the warmth of the limo. I turned to look forward at the school. Behind me, a parking lot was full of students parking their cars and running inside, ducking against he wind. Most of the people that were close stopped in their tracks and looked from the stretch limo to me, then back again.

One boy behind me screamed, “Wow, do we have a celebrity here?”

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, here I am. Hannah Montana. I rolled my eyes again, walking forward.

The school was amazing looking, giant in size compared to the one I went to in Atlanta. The walls above, and to the sides of the major doors were made of only glass, letting me see into the huge school. Kids ran around me, ignoring me completely.

I rushed with them into the warmth of the school where the hustle only got worse and more chaotic. To my left, a hallway with music notes all over the wall and lockers lining every available space was packed with students at their lockers. A couple right in my view doing a little more than kissing up against the wall.

I groaned, going through some more doors. This was where the main part of the building was. It was a wide space all the way to the other side of the school where lower classmen were coming from. The buses probably went there.

The colors, red and black matched the colors of my bedroom and house. It sort of creeped me out, but I walked with the rest of the students, going to the huge sign that said main office. I only got a couple stares, some already judging me and sticking their noses in the air to show I wasn’t welcome to them.

Lockers filled each end of the very large space, and two winding staircase next to the locker bays. In the middle of those stairs was the main office, and two hallways that went all the way to the end of the school.

I would get lost in minutes. I pulled open the main office door and let it slide shut behind me, the noise instantly cut off. The office was warmer than the rest of the school, cozy. The women behind the desk looked up, her long blond hair covering half of her face. She waited for me to speak.

“Um…I’m new.” I said, shuffling my feet to her desk.

She smiled at me and pulled out a small stack of papers. She shuffled through them. “Name?”

I sighed. “Candace Heart.” Could I change my name?

She fingers fumbled for a moment with the papers, and handed me one with school picture on it. “There you are.” She grabbed another piece of paper, and gave it to me. It was a map, a very large map.

She held up a finger for me to wait. She long fingers reached over and picked up the phone, pressing a large red button. I heard the echo of her words outside the room on the intercoms of the school.

“Will Maryana Ezra come to the office? Maryana Ezra to the office.” She said into the phone. She pressed the red button again and hung up. “Your escort will be here shortly to show you around a little bit. She will be there at the beginning and at the end of your classes to introduce you to your teachers and help you out with your first day.”

“Thank You.” I said, feeling like I was in the wrong place.

The women ignored me then, going back to the paper work she was doing.

The sound from the outside rushed through the open door as someone walked through. A girl with dark straight hair and amazingly grey eyes smiled at me. Her low cut jeans fit tightly around her legs, and her t-shirt showed a little bit of her flat stomach. She reached her out to me, her smile widening. “You must be the new student.”

I smiled back, talking her hand in mine. I shook it twice, taking my hand back. “I’m Candace.”

The girl smiled again. “Maryana.” Her smile a faded a little, then perked back up. “One moment.”

She went over to the receptionist and interrupted her call that she was making. The women didn’t seem to mind, handing Maryana a slip of paper. Maryana wrote something on it, then came back to me. “Let’s go find your locker.” I followed the perky girl with ease. Even though she seemed like the kind of girl that was pretty, smart, and funny, she wasn’t intimidating at all. She was comforting.

“So where did you move from?” Maryana asked, moving swiftly through the crowd, waving and smiling to most of the people that acknowledged her.”

“Atlanta, Georgia.” I answer, trying to keep up.

She stops in the middle of the locker bay, pointing to one of the black lockers. “This one is yours. And it is right next to mine.” She hands me the slip of paper she wrote on before. “Here’s your combo and locker number so you don’t forget it.

I look down. 12-25-4.

Maryana does it for me, opening the locker. I shove my book bag inside, grabbing my binder and a pen. I shrug off my jacket and put it inside too, closing the locker.

Maryana I staring at me, her eyes blazing with excitement.

“What?” I ask, looking down at myself.

“Very cute.” She loops her arm in mine. “So where’s your first class. Oh, well I guess I’m suppose to tell you that.” She laughs, taking my schedule gingerly from my hand. She looks at it, then smiles. “Your first class is with me. Come on, Mr. Varner isn’t nice to you when you’re tardy.”

She turned me and starts up the large turning stairs, pulling me behind. I rush right along with her, trying not to slow her down. There are still more than a hundred students on the main floor, all talking and yelling to each other. Once we got to the top of the stairs, we turned right and headed down a very crowded hallway.

A group of three girls yelled and waved to Maryana , her responding the same way. “I’ll catch up with you guys in third period!” she yelled, turning right again. This area was carpeted with red and gold, big chair and computers in the small pod area. There were five classroom doors all surrounding this little area.

“This is one of the English pods.” She tells me. She brings me into the corner room where kids are sitting on desks and talking amongst themselves. Her arm releases me as she brings me to the teachers desk in the corner of the room. The teacher is short, but larger in the waste. His head is balding even though he tries to cover it up with a comb over. His eyes look tired, and his large white mustache distracts me for a fraction of a second.

“Mr. Varner. This Candace…” She looks at me, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Heart.” I tell him, smiling in spite of myself.

The room goes quiet as they all stare at me.

Mr. Varner stands, a large smile on his face. “A new student to make fun of!” he yells, his booming voice startling me. “Welcome to speech class.” He says, walking past me just as the bell rings.

Maryana turns me again, bring me to the only empty seat in the classroom right next to her. “He doesn’t mean that, not really anyway.” She explains. “He likes to make of students, but only the one he knows won’t take it personally.”

I nod, watching as Mr. Varner grabs a cart with a projector on it, and brings it to the front of the class.

Everyone groans.

I look around at everyone, and freeze when I meet someone’s gaze from across the room. Trevor’s light brown eyes were staring at me searching my face. His lips twitched like he wanted to smile, but fought it off. I stared at him, trying to figure him out. He was always smiling at me, so mysterious. I hadn’t even been told his name by himself. I had to hear it from another person.

Maryana beside me nudged me with her elbow. I broke the gaze from Trevor to look at her. “What happened to your arm?” she asked, glancing down at my arm. The black cast was showing.

I pulled the sleeve of my sweater over it. “Car accident.” I hissed quietly, Mr. Varner beginning his lecture.