Prescription for Miss Walker

I woke up the next day feeling like shit. I'd perhaps only slept for about three hours or so, which was usually enough to sustain me, but since I was dying, it had the same worth as half an hour.

I turned my head to the other side of the bed, reaching out and feeling the emptiness beside me. I hadn't woken up and spent a whole day with someone since Ben, almost two years ago now, and it was beginning to make me feel a little lonely.

Unloved, even.

But, remembering the vow Ash and I made to each other yesterday, a smile threatened to break my attitude.

He'd agreed to keep meeting up and having sex, which was far beyond fantastic for me. I liked not having to fight the urges anymore, and I bet he did too! It was going to be so much easier this way, giving into our primal instincts like we wanted.

Yet, there was a sinking feeling in my stomach, the same one that was messing with my head. Suddenly I was coming down from my brief high and instead began to drown in the depths of...
Despair?

No, guilt.

Was I really feeling guilty?

I had no reason to, all I'd done was show him what he was missing. He was the one who did all the work. He'd began this whole thing, it would be rude and disrespectful if I shot him down.

Of course, I wasn't completely innocent, I knew that. He'd had practically no interest in me until I drunkenly kissed him -- and he probably only put it off as intoxication then. So, it had to have been the constant flirting, the skimpy clothing I wore to turn him on, they must have triggered him somehow.

Because when we kissed, that was all him.

He was a married man, I knew that. The forbidden fruit in this whole garden of Eden, with an entire tree worth of pears and oranges I could choose from.

But I didn't want any of those. I wanted the apple.

Was it wrong to go after what I wanted? No. Was it wrong that he was a taken man and I didn't care?

Probably.

So, maybe that was the reason for my guilt. I was feeling bad not because he was married... but because I couldn't care less that he was.

I'd never met his wife, I didn't know what she was like. If she was pretty, smart or caring. Hell, she could be the next Mother Theresa for all I knew. She could be the love of his life and he was being unfaithful to her...

I just couldn't bring myself to care about it. It didn't matter how long I thought about him, or her, or their marriage. My mind never changed.

I got up out of bed, rolling my eyes at the upstairs neighbors who'd just begun their usual tirade of bickering and cursing each other. Eventually, one of them would leave the place and take a walk.
So I poured myself some cereal and let it soak for a while, as I dialled Madison's number.

She answered on the second ring.

"Hey babe, wassup?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today. Lunch can be on me." I chipped.

There was a lot of laughing in the background. It didn't take me long to realize she had company.

"Give me two moments." She held the phone away from her ear as she spoke to the girl. No doubt telling her it was an emergency and she had to go.

The noise died down and a door closed. I began eating my soggy cereal.

"I'm actually really busy right now, Shira. Danielle stayed over last night and--"

My eyes bulged as I felt the need to interrupt.

"Danielle? Who's that?"

Then, out came from Madison a sound I never thought I'd hear.

She giggled. Like, actually giggled. The way someone does when they're confronted by a person they like, or grilled about them.

"She's the girl I picked up last night. Her brother is friends with the bartender."

"And apparently you decided she's important enough to learn her name." I somehow couldn't keep the disdain out of my tone. I didn't know why I was angry she never told me she'd met someone special. Maybe it was because it had been just her and me for a while, and I didn't want anybody to barge their way in and ruin that.

It wasn't like when I was in a relationship with Ben, because when she and I met we'd already been together for a handful of years. It's not like any one of us could be pushed out, as Ben had been there first and I'd been deluded into thinking we were going to be together forever.

When he and I broke up, Madison stayed by my side even though the two of them were still close. She picked sides, I was just fortunate enough that it was mine she felt was worth it.

In all the time I'd known her, Madison had claimed relationships were just bombs waiting to explode. She saw no point in them, had seen what it could do first-hand... So I couldn't believe she liked someone enough to be nervous over them.

She sighed.

"Look, if it's such a big deal to you, we'll go out. I'll pay, even."

"No, never mind. You have to get back to Danielle. I'll call you later, I guess." Dismissing my cereal to the side, I was just about ready to hang up when Madison almost enough screamed at me.

I didn't like it when she shouted, she knew it meant she had my attention and I was likely to do whatever to please her. She was scary when she was mad.

"Shut the fuck up, Shira! We're going to have breakfast, I'm going to tell you about Danielle and you will listen. I'll hear out your woes and whatever else you called me to complain about." She breathed out, as I stood still.

"Now, where do you want to go?"

I shrugged but then remembered she wasn't in the room, so I said it didn't matter. She then suggested our usual cafe hangout, so I agreed.

I was soon dressed in a nice pink summer dress and wedges, ready to go out when my mobile vibrated.

It was Madison.

"I'm outside, got a surprise for you."

Closing the message and locking my door behind me, I'd only just stepped out of the complex when I caught onto Madison's yellow convertible.

She was looking lovely as usual, all dolled up and hair in a bun, but she wasn't what I focused on. I think she may have noticed though, as she gave me an apologetic smile.

Because, sitting in the seat next to her was a girl with black hair and tanned skin, giggling like no tomorrow.

Fuck right off, I mentally groaned.