Runaway

Brian rolled over and threw and arm across my waist, snoring loudly as he did. I hadn't been able to fall back asleep after that dream, or nightmare. Whatever it was had ingrained itself into my very core, it wanted me to hurt. I was too afraid to tell Brian about the nightmare though, what if he began to think I'd fall back into my old habits? I couldn't leave again, I couldn't do that to them.

“I had a dream about Jimmy” I mumbled softly, I wasn't entirely sure if Brian had heard me or not, until I felt his body stiffen next to me.
“That's why you woke up panting so early this morning, I was hoping it was about Val” Brian's voice sounded torn, as if I wasn't the only one who dreamt about him.
“I wish I had too” I rubbed my face and groaned loudly, it hit me then. It was the third anniversary since his death, how could I forget something like that?

I sat up more, my body shaking as the realization hit me. I still hadn't truly mourned since I was now home, it felt wrong to me. How could I mourn someone I loved? Someone who meant the world to me at one point, and one of my best friends. I didn't want to mourn, I wanted to remember him being full of life and happy. See his bright smile early in the day when I'd rather be asleep in my bed than being awake. He always knew how to cheer everyone up that way. Things were different and I refused to believe everything had changed. I was still naive and young, I was supposed to live out my days with my best friends by my side, and my partner. We were supposed to all grow old together and make fun of each other. Except, Jimmy would be doing that from heaven, not while he was sitting with us.

“It felt wrong to Zack and I too, Johnny sort of shut himself out for a couple days on the first anniversary. He wouldn't want you to hold onto the pain” Brian propped himself up slightly and looked up at me with a soft smile, I knew where he was coming from.

Jimmy and him were closer than any of us. It didn't matter that I shared a bed with Jimmy at one point in my life. He was my first true love, the person I gave everything too and received everything back in return. I threw away two years because I was selfish, I wanted to pretend things were fine. My best friends mourned the loss and moved on, they accepted the fate and did what they could to be happy again. My friends deserved better than me, but I had to do better for them, for Jimmy. I wanted to be better for Brian.

~~~

Things definitely weren't going the way I expected, Brian handed me his cellphone with a phone number dialed, and he of course refused to tell me who it was until I pressed call. That turned into an extremely awkward and tear filled phone call with my mother, I truly was a horrible son. My dad gave me an earful of how I hurt her, and scared them all half to death. I then broke the news about Brian and I being together, which went better than I anticipated. They were probably just happy to hear I was alive and well.

I had to show everyone I was alive and well, I couldn't be afraid of anything anymore. And what better way to do that than to post a video on our youtube. It felt like I was giving everyone an excuse, 'oh I disappeared for two years because I'm a piece of shit'. Yeah that wouldn't work out really well.

“Hey everyone, M. Shadows here with a little video to explain our absence. As you know we lost our best friend and drummer The Rev, we were taking off this time to truly mourn the loss and come together stronger” I took a deep breath and wrung my hands together. My nerves were getting the best of me.
“We're hoping to be back on tour very soon, you guys deserve it and we all know Jimmy would want it, so be on the look out for that, bye” I smiled and waved to the camera as Brian hit the record button. I didn't even want to rewatch the footage, it needed to uploaded.

Brian sent the file to Larry who nervously approved the footage and uploaded the video. I felt tempted to look at the comments and see what nasty shit people had to say. We'd get through it, and go on a mind blowing tour, and meet more fans than we ever had before. I was determined to make it up to them, they were the ones supporting us even when we were unsure what was going to happen to us. While I paced in the kitchen nervously Brian decided the only thing that would help calm me down would be sex, which lead to him being pressed against the counter.

“You're mine, no one else's” I growled in his ear as I grinded my cock inside of his tight heat.
“Yes Matty” Brian panted as he struggled to grip the counter, his body tightening even more.
“Guys! Larry called about doing a tour next...Umm” Zack and Johnny stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, their jaws dropped to the floor.
“Seriously? He was just getting me off you guys!” Brian yelled as he pushed himself up more and glared at Zack.
“How can you even take him? He's huge!” Zack said bewildered, his eyes darting from one spot to the next.

Brian glared harder which caused Zack to grab Johnny's arm and run out to the den, at least we could get some privacy.

“You know I'm not going to let them ruin my mood right?” I pushed my hips closer to his and smirked at the whimper he let out.

The rough slap of hips, the desperate push and pull is what set Brian over the edge first, a high thin cry leaving his lips as he came in his hand. Less messy that way. I pushed deep and growled low as I came, panting heavily while Brian smiled, he was truly beautiful. I pulled out slowly and kissed slowly up his spine til I reached his cheek, he chuckled and kissed my chin.

“Now let's go see what those two assholes wanted” I said with a groan.

Helping Brian clean up was the easy part, the hard part was going to be seeing Zack and Johnny after that incident, I didn't need them talking about my dick.

“So what were you trying to talk to us about?” I plopped onto the couch and pulled Brian into my lap, he wrapped his arms around my neck quickly.
“Larry wants to schedule a tour for March, but we don't have a drummer” Zack was looking between Brian and I, as if we had all the answers he needed.
“We can't just hit someone up and ask them to drum for us dude” I shook my head, was he crazy?
“Why don't we have people audition? We can see if people have what it takes to keep up with us” Zack shrugged slightly, it wasn't that bad of an idea.
“Let's do it” We just needed to call Larry and have him set it up.

I just hoped we weren't making a bad decision.