Hospital Beds and Memories

Everybody had collected in the dressing room in the pretty big venue before they had to go off to do soundcheck. Jack and I had just stayed on the bus and explored the venue, while the others went off to look at the city we were in. I was still under the weather, so Jack suggested we wouldn’t do too much. He didn’t want things to get worse and only wanted the best for me. But I, on the other hand, felt pretty guilty and ashamed. I came here to have fun with Jack, but all he was doing was taking care of me. And that was also the reason why I was once again sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

We were having a random conversation about food when the phone in my back pocket started ringing and buzzing. Without looking at the caller ID, I answered straight away. There was nobody who would call me, but Cam. Even my mom and dad texted me.

“What up, asshole?” I smirked and leaned back into Jack.

“No time for insults, I have exciting news,” Cam sounded like he was either freaking out or jumping around with happiness… it was probably both…

“Exciting news? I don’t think I want to know this. Last time you had exciting news, you told me you wrote a song about spaghetti,” I told him and heard Jack chuckle, his breath tickling my neck.

“No, really, it’s exciting,” he was running around somewhere and I heard him walk into something, “ouch! Fuck! Stubbed my toe on the table! It hurts so much! Agggghh.”

“Well don’t fucking stub your toe on a table then.”

“Ok, I’m fine. The news, you can’t tell anyone,” he spoke really fast, “so, so, so…. So, you know, we started the band again, right? Well, yes, so, so, Equal Vision Reached out to us, and then wanted to sign us, so, we said yes. And now we are going to LA for a while and live there to record an album.”

“Well, that’s great!” I felt genuinely happy for my brother, he had wanted this since he was a child.

“Yes, but,” he slowed down, “it does mean I will move out… and I don’t know what you want to do.”

“Well, when are you leaving?”

“In 2 months, we will turn our last EP into a full-length album.”

“Ok, then I have enough time. I’ll figure something out.” I already started thinking of possible options, but nothing much was coming to mind.

“Let me know if you find anything.” Cam sounded composed again. “I have to go now, though, we are playing a show here in a couple of weeks and we aren’t prepared yet.”

“Ooh, can I tell them about that?” I asked hopefully.

“Sure, but I’m stepping in the car now. Bye, Field.”

“Bye.”

We both hung up and I put my phone on the end table. Everybody in the room looked at me expectantly, like I was obliged to tell them. I looked around at them and chuckled nervously, “what?”

“What’s the exciting news?” Jack asked me and rested his chin on my shoulder, making sure he wasn’t pressing down too hard so it wouldn’t hurt.

“I can’t tell you, it’s confidential,” I giggled at his pout as soon as he heard that he wasn’t allowed to know, “But long story short, I have to find a new place to live in. Maybe I could move back in with my parents since I’m still broke as fuck.”

“Maybe...” Jack dragged out the word for a bit, “you could move in with me.”

Ok, so that caught me off guard for a bit. After finding out our relationship had been moving so fast, I had sworn to myself to slow down and take things easy for a bit. But now he suggested this; he actually wanted me to move in with him, and he said it so easily, he had probably already thought about it for a while. And strangely enough, I wasn’t against it at all. Maybe it would even be fun, but I’d first have to tell him about all the health problems…

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Why not?” Alex added, “you’d get to wake up to his beautiful face every day, and you’ll have time for a lot more sex.”

“But do I want that?” I winked.

“You basically already spend half of the time I’m home at my house, the other half we spend at yours. So why not?” Jack tried convincing me.

“Well, do you mind having a cat in your house?” I asked seriously.

He laughed sharply, “a cat?”

“Yes.”

“Why would there be a cat?”

I got my phone again and opened my photos. “Because I got a cat.”

He took hold of my phone and inspected the picture. “Why the fuck would you get a cat!?”

“Technically, I didn’t get it, but Cam got it for me."

“Well, why the fuck would he get you a cat?!”

I thought back to the mess I was after I thought Jack had lied to me. “That doesn’t matter…”

“Does it have anything to do with me almost messing up our relationship?” Jack gave me my phone back.

“No…” I said guiltily.

“Well, I guess it’s sort of my fault, then.”

“She’s very cute, though.” I waved the phone in front of his face so he could see nothing but the fluffy animal on it. “Her name’s Taco, and she sleeps the entire day, except when she doesn’t.”

Rian burst out with laughter. “Who calls a cat Taco?”

I frowned. “My brother and I got a bit drunk and I thought it was funny because ‘Taco cat’ is a palindrome.”

“A what?” Jack looked like a confused kid.

“A palindrome, you know, like ‘Dammit, I’m mad’, or ‘Tod erases a red dot’.”

“A what?” He repeated.

“Boob spelled backward is boob, it’s the same with Taco cat.”

“Oooh.”

If you ever needed to explain something to Jack, explain it using the female anatomy, he will understand it in no time.

----

The guys had played another amazing show, but decided they actually wanted to celebrate it properly this time. Sure, they had a couple of drinks on the bus or at a bar after a show, but this time they actually wanted to go to a club and party; you know, the normal stuff. I was completely fine with the idea, but I wasn’t going to go along with them. Still feeling like complete and utter shit, I decided it was best not to go out partying and drinking. And yes, I trusted Jack enough to be there with his friends and tons of girls around him. If he managed to stay away from girls while he wasn’t even sure if we were actually still together, then he would also be able to do it now.

Jack took his phone off the charger and put it in the pocket before heading to the door with Rian and Alex. Just before he got off the bus, he pointed at me. “You trust me, right?”

“Yes, Jack.” I rolled my eyes, he had been talking about it for ages.

“Are you sure you trust me?” He squinted at me like he didn’t believe me.

Alex laughed his famous giggle, “I don’t think you should trust him if he asks you that often.”

“Jack,” I sighed, “I trust you. And I will know if you cheat on me, so don’t worry about having to lie to me.”

“Now I’m scared,” Jack contemplated whether or not to leave, but he eventually did after I went up to him and literally pushed him out of the bus. I was not going to be the one that stopped him from having any fun.

He turned around one last time and pointed at me. “Are you going to be ok?”

“I’m also staying here,” Zack popped up out of nowhere. “I want to wake up early so I still have some time to work out. If anything happens to her, she won’t be alone.”

Jack continued to just stand there and not leave. Of course he was concerned, but he also needed some time for himself. Not to say that I thought he was being clingy again, because I really did like him around me, but I just felt like I was ruining this all for him. Normally he would go out and party whenever he wanted, and now he just stayed with me; if I hadn’t been there for the award show, he would have totally gone to that after party and had fun. Sure, we had fun together as well, but it was different. I had already changed the whole man-whore thing about him, but I didn’t want to change the rest of him as well.

“Just leave already,” I told him, “I’ll be fine.”

Alex dragged him away and Rian soon followed. I watched Jack turn his head to look at me a couple more times, before I closed the bus door and turned to Zack. We just looked at each other without saying anything. It was so weird to think I had a past with this guy, but couldn’t remember most of it. Sure, I knew we both got ditched at prom and left, but I didn’t remember any details.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Zack suggested and pointed to the back lounge where we could more comfortably.

“Umm, yeah, sure…” I followed and let him choose whatever he wanted to watch.

Did Zack and I ever, you know, do anything together? Like, there was something off and I really wanted to know what it was, but my brain just wasn’t letting me access it! But then again, my mom did say she didn’t recognize him, so he couldn’t be a past boyfriend… unless I hid him… No. I wouldn’t do that, right?

“Hey, you ok?” Zack looked at me and was ready to help me if needed.

“Yes,” I put my feet on his lap and got more comfortable, “just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Nothing, really.”

Zack nodded and continued watching the movie again. But, once again, I couldn’t do the same. All these thoughts were swimming around in my head and I didn’t know if any of them could be right. So, what I did next might have been the wrong decision, but I did it nonetheless.

I looked at him. “You were my first kiss, weren’t you?”

His head snapped towards me and his eyes were wide. “What?”

“Well, I don’t really remember everything, but I remember telling you I never had my first kiss, and then later us leaning in.”

“Umm… uh… I-- I… Maybe.”

“You certainly were,” I nudged.

“Ok, yes, but you can’t tell Jack,” Zack made me promise.

“Oh come on, he can--”

“Not tell Jack what?” Jack stood in the doorway looking in between us.