You Leave Me With a Dangerous Taste
Eleven
Alex and I hadn’t made up the next day. I still came to work as promised, deciding not to avoid my problems this time. For the first time, I was actually glad that he left as soon as I entered the house and could take over the job of taking care of William. The same went for when he came home. I didn’t even ask if he wanted me to make dinner, I just gave him some time to change and said goodbye immediately after.
It wasn’t that I was really mad at him, I couldn’t be. As badly as I wanted to, seeing him still turned me on. I couldn’t just simply stay mad at him. However, I was set on showing that I was still not ok with what happened. I had to stand my ground. This thing we had going on wasn’t some deal that gave him what he wanted. I was the one who had full control of everything. Although he might have believed that he was the one who made the first move, I was the one who allowed it. I could have easily dismissed him like the first time if it weren’t for me wanting to attend to my sexual urges.
I considered the fact that the weekend came next a blessing. As much as I once hated them since it would mean going two days without Alex’s touch, I was more than happy to not be around him for two days. It would keep him on edge. I knew that I could get him back in a heartbeat. I just had to show that I wasn’t going to be there no matter what. He had to work for it.
So, instead of worrying about Alex, I decided to spend my days off with Jack. I had neglected him, and it was wrong. Despite it almost being a month later, I still hadn’t made up for the one time I had rain checked on our movie date. I never was the one to cancel plans and then not try to make up for it. Usually, I would make new plans in the next few days. But, I had been way too busy… too busy with Alex.
I couldn’t bring myself to go out with Jack in public on a date. As much as I wanted to, there was a fear brooding inside of me. Nobody knew about my affair with Alex. Nobody--unless he had told somebody. Although I knew there was no human soul who could possibly know, I was so afraid somebody would out me. I couldn’t risk losing Jack.
Instead, I decided to have a movie marathon in the safety of our own home was a better option. While we did live off a limited budget per month, we had a little left over for Netflix. And while Jack had more than enough time to catch up on episodes while he was waiting for me every evening, I hadn’t watched anything in ages. So what better way to spend our night than watching movies neither of us had seen yet? Or Home Alone… he loved Home Alone… sometimes I wondered if his love for that movie was greater than the love he had for me.
After we had given up on one of the movies we had chosen, it both having a terrible plot and terrible acting, we immediately put on the one thing that was Jack’s all-time favorite. Despite being able to recite the lines word by word, he still acted shocked whenever something happened. His expressions were the cutest thing ever. Sometimes, his lips would part in surprise, other times he’d frown when the villains came back into the scene, and occasionally he would giggle if something funny happened. And I was the one who got the honor to watch his range of emotions be outed.
We were both lying on the couch, his long legs intertwined with mine. Since our couch was just a little too small for us to fit behind each other, Jack was still sat up with his back against one of the armrests and I was practically on his lap. My head could perfectly fit under his and our bodies fit together with no fuss. We had grown into the couple that could effortlessly do anything together.
Jack started to push himself up a little, earning an annoyed whine out of me. I had been so comfortable, and now he was making my back bend at a weird angle. I was waiting for him to apologize and let me lie back down in an easy position. But he just shuffled up more like he was trying to get me to move away.
“I really need the bathroom,” he clarified as he bent over to grab the remote from the table and pause the movie he had seen hundreds of times before.
“No,” I groaned yet still let him slip away, “don’t leave me! I’ll be cold!”
“I’ll be quick,” he promised before rushing off into our bedroom.
I stared at the frozen screen waiting for him to return. What he said would only take little time, was starting to drag on. I started to wonder when the image of the paused movie would start to burn into the screen. It wouldn’t have been the first time it had happened. The one scene we had once paused on would continue to stare us down for another few hours while we tried our best to move on with the plot. I knew I should have turned the screen off, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it in case Jack would come back.
“You want anything to drink?” Jack asked when he entered the room again, going toward the kitchen area. He wiped his hands on his jeans one single time.
“Sure. I’ll just have what you’re having,” I muttered in response, still bewildered by the TV.
A few minutes later, he came back to join me with one opened bottle of red wine and two clear glasses. He carefully placed the delicate glasses on the white wooden coffee table, both clinking quietly at the contact. Quickly after, he held the bottle elegantly and poured both of us some in.
“What’s the special occasion?” I asked, my interest now shifted to what was happening in front of me. We couldn’t buy our own alcohol, this was something his sister had given us as a gift. More expensive stuff like this was never just drunk without a reason. “Watching a movie isn’t exactly something special, right? Or am I missing something?”
“Well, I was hoping to make it special…” he gulped and once again wiped his hands off. My heart skipped a beat as he got on one knee for the second time in our life together. “I know I’ve already done this and asked this, but I want to do it again… Danielle Paisley Jonas, will you marry me?”
“Jack,” I gasped as he pulled out a red velvet box this time, something that had been missing when he had given his full speech just under a year before.
I just stared at the small band that was nestled in the black cushioned interior of the box. It was more than I ever asked for, more than I had ever dreamed of. Although the band was already really thin, it still split into two, a few small diamonds nuzzled between the rose gold. My eyes were fixated on the reflected light.
“Although you’ve already answered before, you’re still making me nervous,” Jack interrupted my entrancement, biting the skin off his bottom lip.
“Jack…” I repeated, tears almost prickling my eyes. “Why? You shouldn’t have spent your money on this. You already have my word.”
“I know,” he nodded, still searching for a clear answer, as he got up from his knee and sat down beside me, “but I also know we’re not going to be able to get married for another while. I want to give you something for the meantime.”
“I’m just fine waiting.” I put my left hand on his right knee, giving it a small squeeze.
“Pays, please.” He closed the box, it clicking shut, and grabbed my hand with his empty one. “I know you don’t need it. But I want to give it to you. To make up for the fact that we can’t get married as quickly as we want, to make up for us drifting apart recently.”
“Drifting apart?” I questioned, panic overtaking my surprise. I had completely forgotten about Alex during our short moment, maybe Jack hadn’t… maybe he had known all along.
“Yes. I take full responsibility for it. I haven’t been treating you the way you deserve, I should have shown my love for you more often. This is me trying to make up for all those gestures I haven’t shown.”
I shook my head rapidly, not wanting to hear him take the blame. “No, Jack, none of it’s your fault.” Oh, how he didn’t know that it was all my fault. “I’m the one always off working and coming home late. You’ve done nothing but love me. I’m the one who’s always too busy. If anything, I should be the one here proposing to you again.”
“Well, either way, if you want to show me how much you still love me, you’d accept this and wear it even if it’s just for the symbolism.” He discreetly opened the box again and brought the ring back in view.
I was scared. All I could do was nod as my eyes were fixated on the beautifully crafted metal.
“Yeah?” Jack double checked and cautiously pulled the ring off its fixture.
“Yes.” I nodded and wiped away a tear as I held out my left hand for him to slip the ring on.
It wasn’t that I was really mad at him, I couldn’t be. As badly as I wanted to, seeing him still turned me on. I couldn’t just simply stay mad at him. However, I was set on showing that I was still not ok with what happened. I had to stand my ground. This thing we had going on wasn’t some deal that gave him what he wanted. I was the one who had full control of everything. Although he might have believed that he was the one who made the first move, I was the one who allowed it. I could have easily dismissed him like the first time if it weren’t for me wanting to attend to my sexual urges.
I considered the fact that the weekend came next a blessing. As much as I once hated them since it would mean going two days without Alex’s touch, I was more than happy to not be around him for two days. It would keep him on edge. I knew that I could get him back in a heartbeat. I just had to show that I wasn’t going to be there no matter what. He had to work for it.
So, instead of worrying about Alex, I decided to spend my days off with Jack. I had neglected him, and it was wrong. Despite it almost being a month later, I still hadn’t made up for the one time I had rain checked on our movie date. I never was the one to cancel plans and then not try to make up for it. Usually, I would make new plans in the next few days. But, I had been way too busy… too busy with Alex.
I couldn’t bring myself to go out with Jack in public on a date. As much as I wanted to, there was a fear brooding inside of me. Nobody knew about my affair with Alex. Nobody--unless he had told somebody. Although I knew there was no human soul who could possibly know, I was so afraid somebody would out me. I couldn’t risk losing Jack.
Instead, I decided to have a movie marathon in the safety of our own home was a better option. While we did live off a limited budget per month, we had a little left over for Netflix. And while Jack had more than enough time to catch up on episodes while he was waiting for me every evening, I hadn’t watched anything in ages. So what better way to spend our night than watching movies neither of us had seen yet? Or Home Alone… he loved Home Alone… sometimes I wondered if his love for that movie was greater than the love he had for me.
After we had given up on one of the movies we had chosen, it both having a terrible plot and terrible acting, we immediately put on the one thing that was Jack’s all-time favorite. Despite being able to recite the lines word by word, he still acted shocked whenever something happened. His expressions were the cutest thing ever. Sometimes, his lips would part in surprise, other times he’d frown when the villains came back into the scene, and occasionally he would giggle if something funny happened. And I was the one who got the honor to watch his range of emotions be outed.
We were both lying on the couch, his long legs intertwined with mine. Since our couch was just a little too small for us to fit behind each other, Jack was still sat up with his back against one of the armrests and I was practically on his lap. My head could perfectly fit under his and our bodies fit together with no fuss. We had grown into the couple that could effortlessly do anything together.
Jack started to push himself up a little, earning an annoyed whine out of me. I had been so comfortable, and now he was making my back bend at a weird angle. I was waiting for him to apologize and let me lie back down in an easy position. But he just shuffled up more like he was trying to get me to move away.
“I really need the bathroom,” he clarified as he bent over to grab the remote from the table and pause the movie he had seen hundreds of times before.
“No,” I groaned yet still let him slip away, “don’t leave me! I’ll be cold!”
“I’ll be quick,” he promised before rushing off into our bedroom.
I stared at the frozen screen waiting for him to return. What he said would only take little time, was starting to drag on. I started to wonder when the image of the paused movie would start to burn into the screen. It wouldn’t have been the first time it had happened. The one scene we had once paused on would continue to stare us down for another few hours while we tried our best to move on with the plot. I knew I should have turned the screen off, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it in case Jack would come back.
“You want anything to drink?” Jack asked when he entered the room again, going toward the kitchen area. He wiped his hands on his jeans one single time.
“Sure. I’ll just have what you’re having,” I muttered in response, still bewildered by the TV.
A few minutes later, he came back to join me with one opened bottle of red wine and two clear glasses. He carefully placed the delicate glasses on the white wooden coffee table, both clinking quietly at the contact. Quickly after, he held the bottle elegantly and poured both of us some in.
“What’s the special occasion?” I asked, my interest now shifted to what was happening in front of me. We couldn’t buy our own alcohol, this was something his sister had given us as a gift. More expensive stuff like this was never just drunk without a reason. “Watching a movie isn’t exactly something special, right? Or am I missing something?”
“Well, I was hoping to make it special…” he gulped and once again wiped his hands off. My heart skipped a beat as he got on one knee for the second time in our life together. “I know I’ve already done this and asked this, but I want to do it again… Danielle Paisley Jonas, will you marry me?”
“Jack,” I gasped as he pulled out a red velvet box this time, something that had been missing when he had given his full speech just under a year before.
I just stared at the small band that was nestled in the black cushioned interior of the box. It was more than I ever asked for, more than I had ever dreamed of. Although the band was already really thin, it still split into two, a few small diamonds nuzzled between the rose gold. My eyes were fixated on the reflected light.
“Although you’ve already answered before, you’re still making me nervous,” Jack interrupted my entrancement, biting the skin off his bottom lip.
“Jack…” I repeated, tears almost prickling my eyes. “Why? You shouldn’t have spent your money on this. You already have my word.”
“I know,” he nodded, still searching for a clear answer, as he got up from his knee and sat down beside me, “but I also know we’re not going to be able to get married for another while. I want to give you something for the meantime.”
“I’m just fine waiting.” I put my left hand on his right knee, giving it a small squeeze.
“Pays, please.” He closed the box, it clicking shut, and grabbed my hand with his empty one. “I know you don’t need it. But I want to give it to you. To make up for the fact that we can’t get married as quickly as we want, to make up for us drifting apart recently.”
“Drifting apart?” I questioned, panic overtaking my surprise. I had completely forgotten about Alex during our short moment, maybe Jack hadn’t… maybe he had known all along.
“Yes. I take full responsibility for it. I haven’t been treating you the way you deserve, I should have shown my love for you more often. This is me trying to make up for all those gestures I haven’t shown.”
I shook my head rapidly, not wanting to hear him take the blame. “No, Jack, none of it’s your fault.” Oh, how he didn’t know that it was all my fault. “I’m the one always off working and coming home late. You’ve done nothing but love me. I’m the one who’s always too busy. If anything, I should be the one here proposing to you again.”
“Well, either way, if you want to show me how much you still love me, you’d accept this and wear it even if it’s just for the symbolism.” He discreetly opened the box again and brought the ring back in view.
I was scared. All I could do was nod as my eyes were fixated on the beautifully crafted metal.
“Yeah?” Jack double checked and cautiously pulled the ring off its fixture.
“Yes.” I nodded and wiped away a tear as I held out my left hand for him to slip the ring on.