You Leave Me With a Dangerous Taste

For the first time in my entire career, I came late without having a real reason. I couldn’t even say that I had overslept, as bad as an excuse that already was. The entire night, I was tossing and turning. Whenever I closed my eyes, I could only see Alex. I would see him leaning forward to kiss me, I would see him hovering over me, I could even still feel his fingers wrapped tightly around my wrists as he brushed his lips behind my ear. It was so wrong with Jack sleeping next to me.

I claimed that Alex had told me to come in later when Jack woke up and saw me nowhere close to being ready to leave. Despite having gotten up at six in the morning like usual, I was sat at the table in my pajamas, my bowl of off-brand cereal untouched. I thought that eating breakfast with Jack would have maybe helped me feel better about everything, but I had to force myself to look at him. He didn’t even notice that something was wrong.

I offered to drive him to work so that I could say goodbye to him. Obviously, he happily accepted it. Usually, I would do it because I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. This time, I only did it because I was procrastinating. I didn’t want to face Alex again. I was even praying that he wouldn’t be home despite the fact that he couldn’t leave until I was there.

When I finally did, it was almost midday. I entered using my key, hoping I could just sneak in without him realizing. But what was the point of doing my job if the person I worked for didn’t even know? I was useless if he didn’t have something for me to do. Yet, going around the house to find him also made me rethink how I was going about everything.

Just to my luck, Alex found me before I even noticed him. I had entered the house, softly closing the heavy wooden door behind me, and had hung up my light jacket on the coat rack. As I started into the entrance hall, he already saw me. His study was next to the entrance, giving him view of whoever walked through the foyer.

“I thought you weren’t going to show up anymore,” his voice came from behind me, causing me to turn around and see him sitting at his grand dark-wood desk. He had his laptop open and paper scattered around, a black pen in his right hand.

I just stared back at him, unsure about how my fear of his actions had done a full one-eighty just at the sight of him. All my doubts turned into a want, my shame turned into a desire, and my guilt turned into a need. Just seeing him in front of me made me crave him. All my overthinking from the night before was insignificant.

“I had to call work and tell them I couldn’t come in so I could take care of Will,” Alex continued, putting down his pen on the table and linking his fingers together.

I ambled toward him as some invisible force was dragging me. My delicate footsteps were the only noise in the room until I stopped just a foot away from his desk. I needed to end this once and for all. Even when Alex stood up and towered over me, I knew I couldn’t let him change my mind.

“What happened last night can’t happen again,” I stated, my feet sturdy on the floor and knees locked. “It was wrong and it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Agreed,” Alex nodded, looking down at me, his hands in the pockets of his black skinny jeans.

Still, I felt like I had the need to explain myself, even if it wasn’t for him but for me. “I had planned to wait until marriage despite the fact that I’ve been in a relationship for five years. I ruined that. If it stops now, I can still hope to forget.”

“Ok,” he kept his nod going that continued through my elaboration. “I understand.”

“Good.” I crossed my arms and looked straight ahead, meaning I was once again looking at his chest. It was like it was always there when I was having a change of heart. This time, it wasn’t making my urges worse. What did happen, however, was that the urges in the back of my mind weren’t getting any less loud.

“Yeah, we can move past this,” Alex replied, catching my attention and making me look up. I hadn’t expected him to say anything back anymore.

Looking at him was a horrible mistake. Not only was I now literally facing my problem, but I was able to remember exactly why the problem had started in the first place. I could only remember how his stubble scratched against my skin as he kept changing the position of his kisses and how his hair stuck to his forehead in strands as he was looking me in the eyes, his face full pleasure.

It made me want to take back everything I said. There was so much tension.

“Fuck it,” he was no longer nodding his head, replacing the gesture with a shake instead, “I can’t.”

I didn’t dare push him away as he came onto me. Our teeth clashed together in desperation. As much as I knew I had to stop, I physically couldn’t. Alex was the drug that needed to feed my addiction. I would do anything to get my fix, even if it meant cheating on the man I was supposed to marry.

My arms linked around his neck, pulling him down so I could kiss him more comfortably. He didn’t smell the same as the day before. There was no fresh cologne, only the smell of a dark shower gel he had probably used to wash off the sweat we had accumulated the day before. As sticky as I had felt the night before, I only wanted to experience it again. Everything about him made the tingling inside of me become unbearable.

Alex pushed his hand into the small of my back, causing me to step closer. The pressure continued to build until there was a connection between both our bodies. I gasped at the frictionless contact, creating an abrupt break in our kiss. I needed him to help me find a cure for the heat spreading throughout.

With the small break in place, Alex firmly gripped my hips and pushed me down until I was sat on his desk. He resumed the kiss and leaned over more than necessary to push away all the objects on the desk that were in the way, including his laptop. I pulled on his t-shirt, not satisfied with the lack of contact this position was giving us.

To compensate, his hands slipped up the bottom of my plain white shirt. His grip wasn’t gentle at all, probably leaving bruises nearly as big as his fingerprints. It didn’t hurt, it only made me crave him more. I lusted after his touch.

Just seconds after, he pulled off the shirt over my head, making me raise my arms up. As I was sat there in my bra that I once again hadn’t chosen carefully, he went down to work on my jeans. He popped the button and slowly started pulling the garment off my legs, leaving it inside out. For every few inches he uncovered, he placed a sensual kiss, sucking on my skin a little to notify me of his presence.

He worked his way back up my body, still fully clothed himself. I didn’t know better, so I let him do what he needed to. The only thing I was sure of was that I was having my desired effect on him. He could no longer hide in those black skinny jeans of his. It was obvious that he had either bought them a few sizes too small, or something was happening to make them look tighter.

After I was momentarily distracted by his lips finding their way on mine again, he let his rough hands slide to my back and unclasped my bra, gracefully moving the straps down my arms. He didn’t stop there. With the top half of my body fully exposed, he moved back to the lower region. However, instead of taking off my panties, he let his hand slip into them.

I moaned when his fingers moved gingerly. My head fell back in bliss, my lips breaking away from Alex’s. With my longing finally directly addressed, my toes curled as the enjoyment buzzed through me. I had to put my hands behind me on the desk so I could lean backward and stabilize the shaking.

Since my eyes were closed, I couldn’t see what Alex was doing. Imagine the annoyance I felt when Alex stopped what he was doing. His hand moved out of my panties, making me whine in desperation. I opened my eyes to beg him to return to see him standing two steps away, admiring me from afar.

“A-lex,” I groused and kicked my feet a little in frustration.

He put his finger to his lips and lightly shook his head at me. Before I could show another sign of irritation, he took his own shirt off. Once again, his chest was out on display to torture me. Something about that part of his body just got me going. But, just like when he was undressing me, he didn’t leave it there. My eyes went wide when he took off his own jeans and his boxers soon followed.

I could help but stare. Despite the fact that I had grown up with an older brother and had a long-term boyfriend, I had never seen a man like this. The last time I had seen something similar was back in health class. The night before, everything had been so dark that I couldn’t see what we were doing. Now, though, I could inspect everything. It was impressive.

He came back over to me and ran his fingers through my hair as if to comfort me before he removed my panties. I lied down on my back while he kept leaning closer and closer. His elbows were on either side of my face to steady himself.

He started kissing my neck to divert my attention from him slowly pushing into me. From last night, he had already figured out that touching my neck would turn me into a mess. Something about it made my senses go into overdrive. The graze of his slightly chapped lips made tingles shoot throughout me, the sensual contact would make my eyes slip closed, and the slightly alternating pattern would make my heart flutter.

It didn’t hurt much. Compared to the night before, there was barely any pain. However, the circumstances had been different. We weren’t as rushed despite the pace we were going at this time, I was no longer a virgin, and Alex knew my body better. I could only imagine the things he could do after we had been doing this for a while.

Alex was rocking back and forth above me, the table creaking along with my small quiet moans that kept escaping. With his face still buried in my neck and the heavy pressure on my lower abdomen increasing at a continuous rate, I dug my fingernails underneath his shoulder blades to hold on as everything inside me was released. I had to bite on the skin exposed where his neck connected to his shoulder to muffle the loud unreeling sound I let out.

I felt like I was floating. The wooden desk that was uncomfortably knocking on my back disappeared. All that was left was the temporary bliss Alex had caused. My limbs felt light, my mind felt clear. Everything was at it’s best.

But the feeling also had to end. When I came back down, Alex pulled out and spilled all over my stomach, his own face contorting as he reached his own high. While he was still enjoying the feeling as long as he could, I tried desperately to catch my breath.

I knew that my skin would stick to the varnish as soon as I tried to get up, so I lied as still as I could. A content smile crept up onto my lips. It was fate that brought me and Alex together. He was here to make me experience things I had never experienced before. There was no way I could have ever broken this off.

Eventually, Alex stood up again and looked at me with a smirk on his face. I was still trying to compose myself. I knew that if I tried to follow him, my knees would give out and I would go tumbling. Before I did that, I needed to regain my strength.

“Are we really going to do this?” he asked me, walking to the chest of drawers behind his desk and pulling out multiple tissues.

I nodded and tried to move a little to get my skin to stop sticking to the furniture. “I guess.”

His smirk increased in size, showing me he was more than happy with my answer. He used the tissues to clean up the mess on my stomach, simply throwing them into his trash can that was just a few feet away. It was so surreal to know I had actually just had sex in an office on a desk. I had never thought I would be doing it.

He held out a hand for me, which I took, and pulled me up. “Guess you might want to take a shower. You don’t want to smell like sex when you go home now, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” I answered with a smug look on my face.

We were actually doing this.