Elements of a Selfish Desire

What was supposed to be just a couple shots to ease his mind turned into quite a bit more than that by anyone's standard. The result was a spinning room, a splitting headache, not to mention a poorly timed appearance from his other side. Forgetting where he was, he ended up demanding for him to step back inside himself, which drew multiple stares and laughs from those around him. Thankfully he gathered his wits quickly enough to play it off that he was merely making a joke about how he needed to get a hold of himself and was able to talk Johnny and Brian into helping him upstairs to sober up.

With a promise they would be back to check on him, the two men left him alone with his other half, who they were none the wiser he had. In the silence of their departure, Zack took a moment to compose himself. He had learned the other night that trying to reprimand his dark side wouldn't have the outcome he desired, and that it would likely cause a lash out instead. Though he felt like he was either in parenting class with a child, or an obedience class with a dog, he knew he had to go about this the correct way. Unfortunately, the conversation wasn't going to go as he planned regardless of how he began.

"Zack." darkened green eyes stared at his projected self, who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest in protest from being taken away from the booze. "Zack."

A hiss cracked through the atmosphere like a shock wave and the guitarist sighed to himself.

"If I give you a drink, will you speak to me? Here," he offered with the flexing of his dominant hand, which now held a glass of whiskey. He had never attempted to hand anything to his other side, which as far as he could tell was some sort of spiritual manifestation, but he was willing to try to bridge the gap. He then remembered what his therapist had said about validating himself, and addressing someone properly was a good start. "Vengeance."

"Yes?" he answered audibly upon Zack's release for him to do so. It helped that he was acknowledged by name, which had come out during the go-round at therapy the previous week.

"I can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Unamused, his expression flattened. "I gave you your own Jack Daniels. The least you can do is talk to me for five minutes."

"I suppose that's fair."

"Do you know something I don't know?"

"I know a lot you don't."

"I'm serious."

"So am I. Some of it you used to, but have forgotten. Others I know are things that would would know, if you would let yourself." being one with the guitarist, he knew the next question before it could be asked. "I protect you from a lot of things. You see me as your dark side, the one that need never see the light of day. The truth of the matter is, without me, you would be in a world of hurt."

"Who are you, really?" not that he expected a truthful answer, but what would it hurt to ask?

"You know who I am."

"Amuse me."

"I am you. You are me. We are one and the same, yet we are not. We are separate, you and I. But together, we are our destiny."

Calloused fingers came to massage at his temples. He felt like he was in a twilight zone. He had so many questions he needed answers to. He did believe that if Vengeance would be straight with him, he could get to the bottom of a lot. Problem is, his split side was exactly like him when he was deeply hurt. Bitter, heinously sarcastic, rude, explosively angry......wait a minute. Was this side the result of all the hurt and pain he had endured over the last decade?

"People who have been hurt need to protect themselves, Zack." a dark smile graced his features now. "You fight against me to shove me back under the surface, but the truth of the matter is that you asked me to be here."

"I created you," he whispered breathlessly as it dawned on him.

"Ah, you remember."

"Why would I create something that I loathe?"

"You don't loathe me, Zack. Not really. You crafted me because you needed protection. You called, and I appeared. But the part you're conveniently overlooking is that I've always been here. See, you want to believe I am an evil version of you--"

"Not evil. Dark."

"Call me what you will, Zack. I am you. You are what I am. I am a collection of everything you said you didn't want to be. Cynical, bitter, angry, sex crazed, a drunk, selfish, hateful, loathsome, egotistical--"

"I am NOT those things. Maybe I fell into some of them a while back, but that's not who I am." his eyes darted back and forth as he tried to tell himself Vengeance was lying. He had to be, right? He, Zack, was a good guy. Or, he always tried to be.

"You're say that like it's a bad thing to have those attributes."

"When has any of those things been considered a desirable trait?"

"Desire, yes. Let's talk about that, shall we? What's the one thing you desire, hmm?"

"Don't go there, Vengeance," he warned.

"Why not? You've made me listen to your "head doctor" week in and week out for years, and now you've gone so far as to even make me come out in the open to talk to him! You know the answer to almost every question you ask him, you've just put up a wall to protect yourself. You're so desperate not to feel like that again, you have me and several walls to try to shield you. If you would stop trying to protect yourself from yourself, or me, better put, you would see that in this dimension all those things you think you hate are what is needed to survive."

"All I want is a balance between worlds!" he belted so loudly now, the walls rumbled.

"You'll never get it until you give into who you truly are! And your true desire, the one that keeps you up at night--"

"Shut up Vengeance!"

"The one we both know you've allowed to eat away at you for years--"

"Shut your mouth!"

"Maybe you'll finally grow a pair and--"

"Silence!" he roared so violently, the whole house shook with his rage, and he lunged at the projection with all his might.

Vengeance leapt in a way previously unseen by his main half, and was instantly behind him. Before he could turn around, his split side slammed through his back to reunite with such force it knocked the guitarist out. His limp body crashed to the ground just seconds before the door burst open.