Breaking the Habit

-Chester-
I had a fractured neck, a broken arm, a broken leg, and lots of bruises and cuts.
Michelle was much worse off.
As predicted, the entire left side of her body was broken bones, her lung had collapsed, liver ruptured, and she had a bleed on her brain.
She was in surgery right now, while I was put in a room in ICU, staring out the window, begging God not to take her from me, through tears.
I couldn’t sleep or get comfortable, because I was in so much physical and emotional pain.
I wouldn’t know if she survived surgery until it was over.

The door opened to my room, and Mike came in, “Dude, oh my god, are you okay?” he asked.
“No. My arm and leg are broken, my neck is fractured, and Michelle is probably going to die.” I said flatly.
“You don’t know that. They’re going to do all they can to save her.” he said.
“Mike, she got hit broadside by a Mack truck. The fact that she’s even alive right now is a miracle. But I think that’s where the miracles stop. I don’t think they can save her, I’ve lost my baby.”
“Don’t you dare give up on her, now. She needs you now, more than she ever has before. Don’t give up on her. You said you’d never leave her, so don’t.” he said.
“What can I do from here? All I want is to hold her and tell her its’ all going to be okay, and I want her to wake up, so I can hear her voice and see her smile again, kiss her lips and remind her just how much I really do love her and need her.” I sobbed.
“You can pray for her. Michelle has been through way too damn much to go out like this. She’s a fighter.”
“Why her, Mike? She never hurt anyone. She’s an amazing person. Is this punishment for me being too happy? Why didn’t he take me instead? Why did he have to take her?” I cried.
“Bad things happen to good people. But Michelle isn’t going to die. She's going to fight for her life because she loves you, and she wants to get married as badly as you do.”
“We had gone to check out the beach, because she wanted to get married on the beach. She saw the storm gathering out over the horizon and said we needed to go, but I insisted that we stay a little longer. If I’d just left when she wanted to, we would’ve made it home.”
“You can’t blame yourself.” Mike said.
“We were gonna start a family after we got married, Mike. We were going to have a baby.” I whispered.
“You don’t know that it won’t still happen.” he replied, shrugging.

There came a knock on the door, “Come in.” I called.
The surgeon walked in, “Good to see you’re doing well. We’ve finally finished the surgery. We were able to save her liver, and install rods and screws in the broken bones to heal them, but without a neurosurgeon on call, we haven’t been able to tend to the bleeding on her brain, but we did send her for a CAT scan, to find where the bleed was, and we think that through a minimally invasive surgery, we can drain the fluid surrounding her brain, and stop the bleeding. She’s in a coma at the moment, but we hope that with the brain surgery, we can get her breathing on her own again, and eventually she’ll wake up on her own.” He explained.
“Can’t I see her?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, you’re in no condition to walk anywhere right now, as your condition is just as fragile.”
“Can I go sit with her for him?” Mike asked.
“Of course, but anyone who isn’t family, has to leave when visiting hours end.” He nods.
He left silently.
“I’m going to check on her for you, I’ll be right back.” Mike stood and left the room.

-Mike-
I followed the surgeon, who directed me to Michelle’s room.
I took a deep breath before I opened the door.
The room was dimly lit.
She was so small in the large bed, her arm and leg in casts, head bandaged, leaving only her swollen, bruised face exposed.
I touched her hand, “Oh god why did this happen to you?” I whispered.
All of the exposed skin I could see was bruised, including her hands.
On her left hand, she still had her engagement ring.
The ventilator hissed, and hummed, pushing air into her lungs, the heart monitor beeping to alert me that she still had a heartbeat.
I felt tears on my cheeks, “You were so beautiful, and so sweet. Why did this have to happen?” I squeezed her hand.
I decided it was best if Chester didn’t see her like this, he was already a mess, and seeing her this way would only upset him more.
The door opened, and a tall dark headed man, followed by a short blonde woman came in.
“Who are you?” The man asked.
“I’m Chester’s best friend. He’s not able to come see her, so he asked me to check on her.” I stepped away from Michelle.
“I’m Chris, Michelle’s older brother, and this is Chauntelle, her sister.” He motioned to the short blonde who’d walked over to the bedside.
Looking at her now, I saw the resemblance between her and Michelle.
They had the same nose, eye shape and lips, but Chauntelle had blonde curls, whereas Michelle’s hair was dark brown, and was very relaxed waves.
Michelle’s eyes were brown, and Chauntelle’s were blue.
“How is Chester?” Chauntelle asked.
“Broken arm, broken leg, fractured neck, and a lot of bruises, but he’ll be okay. Right now, he’s more worried about her, than himself.”
“He loves her, that much is true. I just hope they’ll get to be together like they wanted to.” Chris sighed, looking on at his baby sister with sadness.
“I haven’t known her long, but I know she’s a tough girl, and I know she’s going to fight to survive, because they had plans, and she doesn’t seem like the one to divert from the plan.” I said.
“She’ll fight hard for him.” Chris agreed.
“But will it be enough, with everything that’s wrong with her.” I whispered.
“I’m afraid of the fact that I don’t know the answer to that.” Chris’s shoulders drooped.
“They has a disagreement earlier today, it got pretty ugly, but thirty minutes later they were apologizing and all over each other again. It was amazing.” I chuckled.
“Sounds like my sister. She’s feisty, and fearless, but loves hard and with her whole heart. She’s been that way since birth, I think. She was always the happy child out of all of us. Despite having it the worst.”
“It’s funny how life does that to you.” I looked at Michelle.
“Michelle was dealt a shitty hand, but she’s managed to do a lot with it.” Chris petted her hair.
“I don’t really even know her. But I know that she’s my best friends whole world.” I shrugged.
“He’s her world too. I don’t know if he realizes that, but she’d do anything for him.”
“I don’t really think he realizes that either, but I can tell that she would. And honestly, he’d do anything for her.” I sat down on the couch next to the bed.
“Michelle derailed her life pretty badly after her ex fucked her over, but what our dad doesn’t realize, is that this, your best friend, is her getting it back on track. This is her getting better. He’s afraid to let go, because he doesn’t want her to go off the track and ruin her life or worse. If he’d realize what they have is real, it would make her life so much easier.”
“This accident isn’t going to help him see that.” I sighed.
“He’s going to have to understand, that this accident wasn’t his fault, and that there was nothing he could’ve done to stop it.” Chris replied.
“Dad isn’t going to see reason, Chris, you already know this. All she has left is us and them.” Chauntelle said.
“Well, we’re not telling dad about this.” Chris rebuked.
“If he finds out this happened, and we didn’t tell him about it, he’s going to come after us.” Chauntelle argued.
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take, to protect Michelle. He’s not going to do anything but make this situation worse for her.” Chris said, sternly.
“I’d better get back to Chester.” I stood.
“Tell him we’re going to stop in and visit before we leave, and that we’re not angry, so he needn’t worry.” Chris said.
I nodded, and closed the door.

-Chester-
Mike came back.
“How bad is it?” I asked.
He sighs, and sits down, “It’s really bad. Not a sight you need to see right now. But, she’s not alone, her brother and sister are with her. I chatted with them for a little while.” He said.
“They probably blame me for this.” I sighed.
“Not at all, actually. Chris wanted me to tell you that in no way did they blame you for this happening to her. He knew that you’d think that.” I said.
“What about her dad?” I asked.
“From what I heard, he doesn’t know yet, and they don’t plan on telling him, because they think he would just make the situation worse.”
“Well, honestly they’re not wrong about that. No matter who Jack blames, he’s going to blow this whole thing up and make it worse.” I laid back against the pillow.
“If all goes right, he won’t know anything about this.” Mike said.
“I love her so much. If she never wakes up, I don’t know what I’ll do.” I felt tears on my cheeks.
“She’ll wake up, Chester. She’s strong.” He said.
“Strong or not, her body is fucked up, bad. She may not have a choice in the matter of whether she wakes up or not. Her body may give up on her.” I said.
“Have faith, Chester.”

Kayla walked in, “I just left her room. Hey Chester, I didn’t know you were awake.” She hugged me gently.
“Yeah, I was only out for about ten minutes after the crash. I was conscious when the ambulance arrived.” I said.
“I’m so sorry about Michelle. I hope she wakes up.”
“Thanks, Kay.” I replied flatly.

Days fell off the calendar, into weeks, and soon a month was gone.
They were able to stop the bleeding on Michelle’s brain, but the activity was the same.
She still wasn’t breathing on her own, and her liver function was still under fifty percent.
She was a mannequin, bruised, broken and frozen in time.
I laid in my bed all day, staring out the window or sleeping.
Mike and the guys would visit, as would Chris and Chauntelle, but for the most part, I was alone.

The neck fracture I suffered, resulted in me having to wear a back brace until the doctor thought it was healed.
So, I had a cast on my left arm, my right leg, and a brace that covered my stomach, chest, back and held my neck in a stiff unmoving position.
I would have to attend physical therapy after I got my casts off, rendering me unable to tour for at least eight months.

Right now, I was sitting up in bed, using the only hand I had to eat a piece of dry rubbery chicken, and failing miserably.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Come in.” I called, shoving the food away.
Dr. Sampson came in, smiling at me.
“Having a bit of trouble eating?” He asks, checking my heart monitor.
“Only a lot.” I joked dryly.
He chuckled, “Everything looks to be healing beautifully, and you should be out of these casts and into therapy in a couple of weeks.” He scribbled something on his clipboard.
“How’s Michelle?” I almost didn’t ask anymore, because I always knew the answer.
Same as she has been.
He smiled again, and set his clipboard on the table by the couch, crossing his arms.
“You and Michelle are engaged, correct?” He asked.
I nodded the best I could, “We were supposed to e getting married this month.” I replied sadly.
His smile faded slightly, “I do hate that for you. But, in regards to her health, I do have some news.” He said.
I looked up, “What is it?” I asked excitedly.
“Well, we’ve been routinely checking on her, and monitoring her blood work. This morning, one of my nurses noticed something odd while checking the wound dressings on her stomach.” He stopped and looked at me, my eyes silently begging him to go on.
“She noticed that despite living off of a feeding tube for the past month, Michelle is gaining weight, particularly in her stomach area. So she did a quick exam by slightly pushing on her stomach to feel for anything firm, as it could be a blood clot from the accident or surgery, or internal bleeding. She said she felt firmness in the lower abdominal area, which was a bit strange, as her liver is to the left, so she called me, and I too pressed on her stomach to feel the same thing, now, our thinking at first was of course a blood clot, so we immediately did a bedside ultrasound to find the clot so we could formulate a way to break it apart before it traveled to the heart or caused damage, and well,” He looks at me again, sitting down on the couch. “What we found was not a blood clot.” He hands me three pieces of paper which I figured out were pictures.
I looked at them, noticing that they were ultrasound photos.
“What is it?” I asked.
He stepped closer, “This gray area here, that’s called a placenta, and the little white speck in the middle is a fetus.”
I looked up at him, eyes wide and swallowed hard, “She’s pregnant?” I asked.
He nods, smiling, “Just over four weeks. We estimate that the date of conception is around two or three days before the accident. What amazed us was that the fetus survived the accident and the surgeries. We’re calling it the miracle baby.” He said.
“Oh my god, the night of the party. The night I met her.” I covered my face with my hands.
“As long as she’s on the support, the baby will grow and survive to birth. Hopefully she wakes up before then, because if not we’ll have to perform a cesarean, while she’s still in a coma.”
“Is there any possible way at all that I could see her? Please?” I begged.
“I thought you’d feel that way, so I took the liberty of bringing a wheelchair, so I can push you down to her room for visiting hours. You don’t need to be hooked to the heart monitor, but you will have to have your I.V with you.” He walked out to the hall and returned with a wheelchair.
He helped me into the chair, my hands shaking.
“You okay?” Dr. Sampson asked.
“I will be when I see her.” I whispered.

Clutching the pictures in my hand, I relaxed a little.
Dr. Sampson pushed me down the hall, stopping in front of a door.
“I can promise you, she looks a lot better than she did the last time you saw her.” He opened the door, and pushed me in.
When I saw her, my breath caught in my throat, and I felt tears in my eyes.
She wasn’t bruised and swollen anymore, she was just pale and thin.
He pushed me up next to the bed, locking the wheels in place, “Visiting hours end at four, that’s three hours. Maybe you talking to her will help her brain activity spike, and get her to fight out of this.” He patted my shoulder reassuringly, and left the room.
I reached out and squeezed her hand, “Hey baby. It’s been too long since I’ve seen that beautiful face. They finally let me come see you.” I kissed her hand.
My eyes traveled to her stomach, my hand slowly reaching to pull back the blanket and lifting the gown
Her stomach was sunken in to the point where her ribs stuck out, except for a little bump right in the middle.
I touched the bump, and looked back at her face, “We’re going to have a baby, Michelle. You’re pregnant. I’m terrified, but excited. Me and our baby need you to wake up, because that little baby is going to need their mommy.”
I kissed her hand again, and then to the best of my ability, I leaned over and kissed her stomach, “I love you both, so much.”
“When you wake up, we’re going to get married like we planned, and we’re going to raise this baby together, as a family. It’s everything you wanted babe. We’re going to have it. You just gotta fight this and wake up.” I sighed.
The monitor beeping, and the hiss of the ventilator kept the room from being totally silent.
I watched her chest rise and fall while the ventilator pumped air into her lungs, and out again.
She had scars on her stomach from the accident, and the surgeries.
“All I’ve done is think about you, the whole time I’ve been here. Holding you, kissing you and seeing your beautiful smile again. I’m going crazy without you, baby.” I told her.
I touched her arm, and I felt the goosebumps run across her skin.
I smiled, “You did that the first time I touched you too. The night I met you at the party, when I took you home and undressed you. The first time my fingers touched your skin, you got goosebumps like crazy, and you smiled that beautiful smile at me, and giggled, and I was hooked. Ever since then, I can’t get enough of you. I would do anything to hear your voice again. Even if you tell me I’m the dumbest son of a bitch you’ve ever met, I’d still be happy to hear your voice. I miss you.” I told her.
The ventilator hissed again, and I sighed.
I stared at her stomach again, “I still can’t believe we made that little baby in there. Dr. Sampson said the date of conception was about two or three days before the accident, which would be the night of the party or the morning after. But what I can’t get my head around, is the fact that we made another life, it’s growing inside of you. I can’t believe I’m actually going to be someone’s dad. And they’re calling it the miracle baby, because after everything your body went through, it survived. I was thinking about names, and I like Bailee for a girl. Maybe Jonas for a boy. But we can bicker about names when you wake up.” I smiled.
“In a couple of weeks I’ll be getting these damn casts off, and I can walk down here and see you. I can sit with you and talk to the baby. I’ll have to go through physical therapy, but I’ll have my freedom back.”
The door opened, and Chauntelle walked in.
“Hey! Look at you! Does your doc know you’re out of bed?” She hugged me.
“Yes, he brought me down here so I could see her.” I said.
She sat on the bed, petting Michelle’s hair softly, “Any change?” She asked.
“Brainwaves are the same, unfortunately.” I said.
“I was afraid of that. Poor sweet girl.” She sighed.
“But I did get some unexpected news this morning.” I told her.
“What is it?” She asked, tucking Michelle’s hair behind her ear.
I smiled, and held out the pictures to her.
She took them and gasped, “Oh my god, she’s pregnant?!” She asked.
I nodded, “just a little over a month, nearly five weeks.” I told her.
She smiled, “Oh my god, congratulations!”
She hugged me.
“Thank you. Dr. Sampson said that we’re hoping she wakes up before the baby comes, or they’ll have to perform a c-section and I’ll have to take care of it by myself. Which is scary because I know nothing about infants.” I chuckled.
“You know that Chris and I would gladly help you.”
“I know you would. But I really want her to wake up before then, because I want her to meet our baby. I know she’ll be a great mother.” I said.
“Oh absolutely. She’s always wanted to be a mother.”
“She’s going to be, I just hope that she’s around to see it.” I whispered.
“Hey sir. Visiting hours aren’t over yet, but Dr. Sampson asked that you be taken back to your room so we can do checks.” The nurse said.
I nodded, “I can come back tomorrow right?” I asked.
“We’ll talk to Dr. Sampson about it.” She wheeled me back to my room and helped me get back in bed.
“He’ll be in in about twenty minutes.” She took my untouched plate of food and left.

I must’ve fallen asleep, because when the door opened. I jumped awake.
Dr. Sampson rushed in, “Well, I have good news.” He said.
“What’s that?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.
“There’s been a spike in brainwave activity. Michelle appears to be fighting. I’m assuming you told her about the miracle baby, and maybe it gave her what she needed to fight this.”
I brightened up, “Really?!”
He nodded, “If you go and talk to her every day, she might just come out of this. If this type of activity keeps up, in a couple of days, we’re going to try and wean her off the ventilator and see if she can breathe on her own.”
I felt tears on my face, “Thank you for letting me go and see her.”
“Of course Chester, it’s made all the difference.” He said.

He left the room, and I quickly called Chris.
“Hey Chester.” He chided happily.
“Chris, I’ve got a lot of news.” I said.
“Is she awake?” She asked.
“No, not yet. But let me start from the beginning. So, Michelle is almost five weeks pregnant, with what they call a miracle baby, and after I found out about it, they let me go sit with her, and I told her about the baby, and just now when they checked her brain activity, they noticed a spike, like me telling her about the baby inspired her to fight and try to come out of this coma.”
“Oh my god, congratulations!” He exclaimed.
“Thanks. I’m excited, and absolutely terrified.” I said.
“Don’t be. Having kids is an amazing feeling. I have two sons and I love them both more than anything in the world. I was scared too. I mean my wife wasn’t in a coma, that definitely changes things.”
“First thing we’re doing when she wakes up, we’re getting married. And I want you and Chaun there.” I said.
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The door opened, and Mike walked in, followed by Brad, Joe and Rob.
“Hey Chris, I gotta go, but I’ll call you if there’s anymore news.” I said.
“Okay, you take it easy now, don’t worry yourself too much. My sister knows what she’s doing.”
I put my phone on the table, and smiled.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Mike asked.
“Well, first things first, I’m going to be a daddy.” I grinned proudly.
They all looked surprised, “Are you serious? She’s pregnant? But how?” Mike asked.
“She’s almost five weeks along now, they said it happened two or three days before the accident, which would be the night I met her at the party, or the night after. And they’re calling the baby “Miracle baby” because it survived the accident. But there’s more. After the doctor told me that Michelle was pregnant, he let me go down and sit with her, and I talked her head off about the baby, and now she’s showing new brain activity. She’s trying to wake up.”
“Chester, that’s amazing!” He hugged me.
“I’m nervous, but I think it’ll be better when Michelle is back, because she always seems to have a way to make me feel better.”
“Should’ve known you’d get her, you sly dog. You were all over that girl from the first moment you saw her. It’s crazy to think that was only a month ago, and now she’s having your baby.” Brad smiled.
“Believe me, it’s not that hard to believe that she’s pregnant.” Mike laughed.
“How would you know?” Rob asked.
“I saw them together at the party that night. Ten minutes after they met, they were making out on the couch, and he had his hands down the back of her jeans.” He said.
“And we only had sex like twice every day after that.” I added with a shrug.
The door burst open and Dr. Sampson rushed in, “She’s breathing on her own! They decided to see how hard she was fighting, so they took her off the ventilator, she struggled for about two minutes, but then she started breathing on her own, and her brain waves are stronger. She’s fighting hard, we’re taking you back down there to talk to her, because we think there’s a chance she might come out of it tonight.” He said.

I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and Mike helped me the rest of the way into the wheelchair.
The doctor pushed me down the hall quickly.
Because it was outside of ICU visiting hours, Mike and the guys had to stay in the waiting room.

He pushed the door open, and parked me next to the bed.
The tube in her mouth was gone, and now she just looked like she was sleeping.
I grabbed her hand, “I’m here baby. I’m next to you, I need you to wake up. If you’re going to fight this and wake up, now is the time. I know you can do it, I believe in you.” I felt tears on my face.
The EEG machine was making noise when I got there, but then the sound changed, and soon it was going crazy.
Dr. Sampson bolted around the bed to check the machine, “She’s doing it. She’s fighting, it’s working!” he exclaimed.
“Michelle, when you wake up, you and I are going to get married, then we’re going to raise our baby together as a family.” I kissed her hand, “Come on baby girl, you can do it.”
The machine went haywire, as I stared at her expressionless face.
“She’s really trying, believe me.” The doctor said.
“That’s my girl.” I whispered, kissing the back of her hand.
“Keep talking to her.”
“Michelle, I already told you my baby name ideas, I need you to wake up and tell me yours. Or argue with me over mine, I’ll take either at this point. Just open those beautiful blue eyes so I can see them.” I squeezed her hand again.

Nothing happened, and I started to worry that she wasn’t going to come out of it after all.
Then, like miracle, her fingers curled around my hand, and she squeezed.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at me, “So, we’re having a baby, are we?”