Frozen Hearts
Twenty Three - Lucas
No one ever told me the fear of losing Gabriel would encompass my entire being. When I saw the bruises on Gabriel’s body when he entered my hospital room, I knew something bad was going on in his head. Was I wrong to be stripping Gabriel of who he was? He wasn’t meant for a life in the gang world, he never adjusted quite like I did. He was always soft and cared about people more than he should. Now that his dad was in the hospital with me, I feared Gabriel would do something stupid.
Salvador walks in and locks the door behind him, “do you know when you’re due for discharge?” He asks softly.
I shake my head, “no, the gunshot grazed my ribs, but it also opened up some stitching on my wounds. They’re wanting to be sure that I don’t develop an infection before leaving,” I said.
Salvador nods his head and leans against the wall. He notices the wounds on Gabriel’s hands and looks between us, I shake my head no to his unasked question, and he frowns as he looks at him. I carefully stand from the bed and slowly walk over to Gabriel; I pull him against my chest and rub his head as I hold him. I didn’t expect the tears to start, but I knew he needed to release the emotions he had built up inside him. He wasn’t made for this. I couldn’t ask him to continue doing this for me and I contemplated ending our relationship because of it.
“Gabriel, I love you more than anything on this planet, but we’ve noticed a change in you. This life is causing you to lose the flame that made you who you are, and I don’t want to see this go out. I don’t want to lose my Gabriel because of this gang nonsense and finding out your family is full of traitors isn’t an easy way to live,” I say with a small pause as I hold him, “this life, it hurts, it’s not an easy thing to deal with every day. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been stabbed, shot, over little things and I don’t want to see this become you,” I say as I hold him.
Gabriel looks up at me with tears on his cheeks. I gently wipe them away before he begins to speak again, “what are you saying, Lucas?” He asks through shaky breaths.
I smile sadly, “I’m contemplating ending the relationship, forgetting this whole plan, I never should have drug you this far down. I should’ve had you kill me back at school then you never would’ve faced these things and you never would have had to deal with the wrath from your dad. I feel like I’m ruining your life and who you are,” I said sadly.
Gabriel doesn’t know what to say as he wraps his arms tighter around me. He holds me close to him as he buries his face in my chest. I run my hands through his hair and hold him as he is silent in thought. I hope he didn’t think I didn’t love him because of me loving him is why I’m doing this. He doesn’t need to sink any further than he already has.
Salvador walks in and locks the door behind him, “do you know when you’re due for discharge?” He asks softly.
I shake my head, “no, the gunshot grazed my ribs, but it also opened up some stitching on my wounds. They’re wanting to be sure that I don’t develop an infection before leaving,” I said.
Salvador nods his head and leans against the wall. He notices the wounds on Gabriel’s hands and looks between us, I shake my head no to his unasked question, and he frowns as he looks at him. I carefully stand from the bed and slowly walk over to Gabriel; I pull him against my chest and rub his head as I hold him. I didn’t expect the tears to start, but I knew he needed to release the emotions he had built up inside him. He wasn’t made for this. I couldn’t ask him to continue doing this for me and I contemplated ending our relationship because of it.
“Gabriel, I love you more than anything on this planet, but we’ve noticed a change in you. This life is causing you to lose the flame that made you who you are, and I don’t want to see this go out. I don’t want to lose my Gabriel because of this gang nonsense and finding out your family is full of traitors isn’t an easy way to live,” I say with a small pause as I hold him, “this life, it hurts, it’s not an easy thing to deal with every day. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been stabbed, shot, over little things and I don’t want to see this become you,” I say as I hold him.
Gabriel looks up at me with tears on his cheeks. I gently wipe them away before he begins to speak again, “what are you saying, Lucas?” He asks through shaky breaths.
I smile sadly, “I’m contemplating ending the relationship, forgetting this whole plan, I never should have drug you this far down. I should’ve had you kill me back at school then you never would’ve faced these things and you never would have had to deal with the wrath from your dad. I feel like I’m ruining your life and who you are,” I said sadly.
Gabriel doesn’t know what to say as he wraps his arms tighter around me. He holds me close to him as he buries his face in my chest. I run my hands through his hair and hold him as he is silent in thought. I hope he didn’t think I didn’t love him because of me loving him is why I’m doing this. He doesn’t need to sink any further than he already has.