Can’t Look Away

Tiptoeing into the bedroom, Lionel quietly nudged the door closed behind himself before he looked up, his slightly anxious expression smoothing out at the sight of Sasha sat up against the bed’s headboard, singing softly to Arlo who was laying in her lap, his tiny feet kicking happily. He felt unsettled. From the moment that he had opened the front door, and found Leila standing there, there’d been a knot in the pit of his stomach, and it hadn’t eased, even if Sasha did seem happy. He couldn’t quite shake the notion that Leila was only setting Sasha up to get hurt again. He didn’t want to doubt her motives. He wanted to put faith in the idea that her pregnancy had changed her perspective, and had made her want to make amends with her younger sister, but he couldn’t quite believe it. He couldn’t get past the fact that they had tried, and failed, to make things better before.

“Why is your papa frowning so much, Arlo?”

Lionel blinked a couple of times, breaking out of his thoughts, before he shook his head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I thought you’d both be asleep by now” he mused.

Sasha’s stare was fixed on Arlo as she shook her head. “I was about to drift off when he started to fuss” she said “He needed changing, and he’s been awake since. I don’t think he’s going back to sleep any time soon” she added, tickling the bottom of Arlo’s foot with the tip of her finger.

“Do you want me to take him downstairs?” Lionel prodded.

Sasha shook her head. “It’s alright” she replied.

Lionel offered her another questioning look, giving her a moment to change her mind, before he crossed the bedroom. Stepping into the bathroom, he tugged the door partially closed after himself before he progressed towards the sink, collecting his toothbrush from its holder.

“Leo?” Sasha’s voice was soft as it called out to him, soft enough that it caused him to frown slightly before he peeked his head back around the door.

“Is everything OK?” Lionel asked.

The smile that Sasha offered him was tentative, worried. “I was about to ask you the same thing” she replied “You’ve been quiet since Leila left. I wanted to make sure that you were alright” she added.

Lionel shrugged, resting his weight against the door frame. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked.

“Because I did what I always do?” Sasha replied, a soft, rueful laugh falling out of her mouth “I took her at her word. She didn’t give me any reason to believe her more than the fact that she’s pregnant, and I handed her an invitation to our wedding. I didn’t talk that through with you, I didn’t really even think it through, and I am kind of worried that I’ve inadvertently upset you. Have I?” she prodded.

Lionel’s eyes searched her expression for a moment before he shook his head, exhaling a soft sigh. “You want your sister at your wedding” he mused “I can’t be upset about that, but I just...I worry about you, Sasha. She’s tried to build bridges before, with both of us, and each and every time she’s tried, it’s ended with you getting hurt, and I don’t want to let that happen again” he added.

“You think it will?” Sasha asked.

“You think it won’t?” Lionel countered “Sasha, I love that you want to be optimistic, but I am going to be wary. I don’t trust her, and it’s going to take more than her showing up like she did tonight to convince me” he added.

Sasha nodded her head slowly.

Lionel shuffled towards the bed, sitting down on the edge of it before he gently took Sasha’s hand into his. “I want her to be telling the truth” he said softly “I really want her to have turned a corner, and I want her to want to fix things like you do. I just need to see more, Sasha. I worry that if we let our guard down again...”

“Then we’ll fall into the same trap” Sasha finished for him.

Lionel nodded once.

Sasha let out a soft sigh before she carefully leant over, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek.

Lionel let out a soft sigh at the contact. “What’s that for?” he murmured.

“I’m just glad you’re around” Sasha replied “I’m glad that I’ve got you looking out for me” she added.

Lionel smiled softly before he turned his head, his dark eyes searching hers. “You don’t think I am interfering?” he asked.

Sasha smiled back at him. “Your heart is in the right place” she replied “I mean, I would love to just believe that pregnancy has given my sister a reason for an epiphany, but you’re right. It’d be naive to just believe it” she added.

Lionel leant forwards, pressing a soft kiss against her forehead. “I just want you to be careful” he mused “I like where we are, Sasha” he added.

Sasha lifted a hand, her fingertips tenderly tracing the line of his jaw before she guided his head back, levelling her eyes with his. “I won’t let anything ruin this” she murmured “I know I’ve almost let Leila ruin it a few times, and I’ve almost stuck my foot in it myself a few times, too, but I want you to know that I am not willing to give this up for anything. This, right here, is what I love the most” she added, her stare flitting between Lionel and Arlo who was quietly snoozing in her lap.

Lionel followed her stare, marvelling at the softness in the expression she wore when she gazed down at their baby, before he leant towards her, pressing a doting kiss against her temple. “We love you, too” he said softly.

Sasha’s smile widened a little more before she snuggled into his side, the two of them content to just sit in silence and marvel at where they found themselves. They had come a long way from when they’d met at Leila’s wedding.