I Thought the Jetset Life Was Gonna Kill Him
Show Them You Can Be Your On Man Again
I bolted out the door and started to knock furiously on Gerard’s, tears cascading down my pale cheeks. He couldn’t do this. I wouldn’t let him.
‘’Gerard!’’ I shrieked, ‘’Gerard, open up!’’
The door creaked open, and Gerard was standing there, skin paler than ever.
‘’What the…’’ He muttered, frowning.
‘’Please, let me in,’’ I whimpered. It wasn’t really a question – it was a demand. Probably because I grabbed his arm, shut the door and sat down on the couch with him.
He looked at me, puzzled. I wasn’t sure whether he was under the influence by alcohol or drugs at the moment, so I decided to talk slowly and simply.
‘’I just got off the phone with Brian. He… explained to me what you had in mind,’’ I explained, making an attempt to sound calm. But when I replayed the sound of my own voice in my head, I sounded more distressed than I’d ever been.
I waited for his reply patiently. He didn’t say anything for what seemed like years.
‘’That… bastard! Why did he tell you? This is my life, and if I want to end it, I fucking can!’’ He yelled, pulling his arm away from my grip and smashing it on the lounge. ‘’You don’t fucking understand! This really fucking hurts, Jenna! I can’t keep going on like this!’’
I listened to his words, and nodding.
‘’Exactly!’’ I shrieked. ‘’You can’t go on like this! With all these drugs, alcohol and partying, if suicide doesn’t kill you, the jet set life will!’’
He frowned. ‘’The drugs and alcohol make me feel like everything is better. The moment I’m clean, it hurts – a lot.’’
I didn’t know what to say. I was lost for words. Comforting him seemed impossible; you could tell by he was hurting just by listening to the strain in his voice. I’d felt pretty low in my life, but I doubted it could compare to this.
‘’It’ll be okay,’’ Was all I could manage to say as I hugged him.
He sat motionless in my comforting arms for at least ten minutes.
‘’Gerard?’’ I said softly.
‘’Mhm.’’ He grumbled in reply.
‘’Please don’t do it.’’
He didn’t reply.
‘’Please.’’ I repeated.
‘’Give me on good reason,’’ He replied.
I was shocked by his answer. Beginning to cry again, I thought of a reason.
‘’You are loved. Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray, Brian and I – we love you, Gerard. It’d kill us if you did this,’’ I whispered as tears soaked through his shirt.
‘’Gerard!’’ I shrieked, ‘’Gerard, open up!’’
The door creaked open, and Gerard was standing there, skin paler than ever.
‘’What the…’’ He muttered, frowning.
‘’Please, let me in,’’ I whimpered. It wasn’t really a question – it was a demand. Probably because I grabbed his arm, shut the door and sat down on the couch with him.
He looked at me, puzzled. I wasn’t sure whether he was under the influence by alcohol or drugs at the moment, so I decided to talk slowly and simply.
‘’I just got off the phone with Brian. He… explained to me what you had in mind,’’ I explained, making an attempt to sound calm. But when I replayed the sound of my own voice in my head, I sounded more distressed than I’d ever been.
I waited for his reply patiently. He didn’t say anything for what seemed like years.
‘’That… bastard! Why did he tell you? This is my life, and if I want to end it, I fucking can!’’ He yelled, pulling his arm away from my grip and smashing it on the lounge. ‘’You don’t fucking understand! This really fucking hurts, Jenna! I can’t keep going on like this!’’
I listened to his words, and nodding.
‘’Exactly!’’ I shrieked. ‘’You can’t go on like this! With all these drugs, alcohol and partying, if suicide doesn’t kill you, the jet set life will!’’
He frowned. ‘’The drugs and alcohol make me feel like everything is better. The moment I’m clean, it hurts – a lot.’’
I didn’t know what to say. I was lost for words. Comforting him seemed impossible; you could tell by he was hurting just by listening to the strain in his voice. I’d felt pretty low in my life, but I doubted it could compare to this.
‘’It’ll be okay,’’ Was all I could manage to say as I hugged him.
He sat motionless in my comforting arms for at least ten minutes.
‘’Gerard?’’ I said softly.
‘’Mhm.’’ He grumbled in reply.
‘’Please don’t do it.’’
He didn’t reply.
‘’Please.’’ I repeated.
‘’Give me on good reason,’’ He replied.
I was shocked by his answer. Beginning to cry again, I thought of a reason.
‘’You are loved. Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray, Brian and I – we love you, Gerard. It’d kill us if you did this,’’ I whispered as tears soaked through his shirt.
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