Miserable at Best

I had been dozing in and out of sleep for the past hour, but hadn't fully opened my eyes. I didn't want Alex to think that it was okay for him to come and talk to me. Because it wasn't.

I could feel the cool air against my skin, and the smell..of barebeque. I hadn't eaten since the night before, and my body was in need of some nourishment. Against my better judgement, I opened my eyes to see that I was still on the van bench. I sat up, straightening out the clothes I was wearing, and wiping at my eyes. From the light coming from outside I could only guess that it was about two or three. It looked like we were in the back lot of a venue, as I could count three other vans. I slid my way on the bench to the door, grasping the handle and sliding the door open. The smell of barbeque and coal made my stomach growl. Jumping out of the van I bumped into a chair, crashing into the person sitting in it.

"Oh goodness. I am so sorry!" I apologized getting up from the ground.

The guy laughed, and replied, "Don't worry. It was my fault for sitting right in front of the van door."

I laughed, "Okay maybe it was kinda your fault. But still I feel bad." I wiped my dirty hands onto my black jeans, and finally looked up at the guy, "Let me make it up to you." And that's when I realized who the guy actually was. It was the singer of the band who had performed at Alex and my wedding. His eyes were just as mesmerizing then as they were now.

"I'll take you up on that." he told me as he took some steps closer to me to avoid a group of guys running in his direction with waterguns. It wasn't freezing cold out, but it wasn't summer weather either. I'm sure if you were to get hit with those water guns you'd be feeling cold within seconds.

I smiled, I could feel the awkwardness growing already. I didn't have anything to say to him, and it looked like he didn't have anything to say to me. I didn't mind though, he was a complete upgrade from dealing with Alex. For the love of all things that make life worthwhile, I couldn't remember his name. I know it started with a D, but I couldn't place it.

Daniel..No, he doesn't look like a Daniel..David..too original..Dane..no..

He laughed, breaking my train of concentration.

I tore my gaze away from the black top I had been obviously burning a hole into, and asked, "What?"

"Did that blacktop do something to you in the past? Or do you just like to glare at things like that?" he asked with a smile baring his teeth. I had to admitt, he had a cute smile, one of those smiles that make you want to smile yourself.

I laughed, he's been making me do that quite often, "Don't get mad at me. But I was trying to remember your name."

"Oh I see." he said laughing to himself, "Well what have you come up with so far?"

"I know it starts with a D, right?"

He nodded his head, with a smile.

"I ruled out David, Daniel and Dane."

"Why?" he questioned.

"David sounded too generic. You don't look like a Daniel, and Dane..was just weird." I explained.

He snickered.

"Don't laugh at my reasoning." I scolded him, "It sounded better in my head."

"I'm sure it did." he concurred.

"Anyways.." I started, "Dakota?"

"Sounds kinda.."

"Feminine?" I guessed.

"Yeah!"

"That's what I thought!" I exclaimed.

"So you thought I was feminine?!" he exclaimed in outrage.

"No no no! I just..Ahhh!"

He laughed his heart out, "I'm just kidding Brook."

"See, how is it that you can remember my name. But I can't remember yours. It's not fair." I complained.

"Life's not fair, sweetpea."

"You're telling me."

If only he knew what my life was really about.

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I had left Brook in the van to sleep while we loaded all the equiptment into the venue. She didn't need to be up until closer to show time anyways. And plus, I figured the longer she was asleep, the better of the chance that she would forget that she was upset with me. She's been upset with me a lot lately, but then again I had given her pretty legit reasons to be upset with me. Being nice just wasn't something I was used to, especially when it came to her, for some reason I felt like I needed to be rude and jerkish towards her.

After we had finished loading everything into the venue the other bands decided to pull out the barbeque and have a beginning of tour cook out. Which sounded good to me, I was starved. I mingled here and there, never staying in one place for too long. I guess you could say I got bored really easily. I found myself standing with Jack, Flyzik and the drummer of Just Surrender, Steven Miller. The conversation kept going the roudy route as it was before I joined in, when Jack opened his mouth, changing the subject, "Sleeping beauty's up, brah."

I turned to my left to see Brook with Derek, standing by the van, laughing and talking. She looked genuinely happy when she laughed at whatever Derek had said to her. She never looked like that when I would talk to her, never.

"I'll be right back," I told them as I left the group and headed over to Derek and Brook. For the first moment in my life, I think I felt jealousy boiling deep down in me. But over her, I wouldn't let myself admitt that I was jealous of the way Derek could get her to laugh, smile and act so happy. I wouldn't.