Bleeding Heart

"She hasn't even been here for two 24 hours mother, and she's already crushing on a boy! And it's Dominic! He's so rude!" I was complaining to my mother about how Heather eagerly accepted his inventation. It's 6:00 and I'm in the kitchen trying to do my homework.

"We should call her to come home, dinners almost done. Dear, could you pick up your stuff?" I mumbled something incoherent as I picked my books up.

Am I jealous? Do you think I am? I'm not jealous, all we shared was a stupid kiss. A kiss that should have never been shared to begin with. This is not bothering me, I'm fine.

"Mariella! Oh my god! Dominic is great!" Heather said as she ran into the kitchen. I smiled, even though she likes Dominic, she a great person.

"Really?" I asked, helping my mom set up the table."Crap, I need another fork!"

"Got it!" Heather said, running to the drawer. "Yes! He so..charming!" You haven't met his bad side, Heather. "He asked me to the dance!" that's when my mothers head jerked up so fast, you would have thought she strained a muscle. Wow, that was low.

"Really?" I said once again. Something washed over me. I had no idea what it was.

"Yes, but I have a big problem. I need you to come dress shopping with me! You could get one too!" She said, all excited.

"Alright, calm down. Mari already has a dress." My mother said. "Dante! Come down!" She yelled at the bottom stairs. Dante came right down then and sat at the table.

~.~.~

I was cutting apples again for Heather, she helped pealing them."You're not upset, are you?" She asked as I put them in a plastic bag.

"Why would I?" I walked to my bag and put it in my front pocket.

"About Dominic." She said, "Which reminds me, he offered me a ride today. He got his car." I sighed. Am I mad? Of course I am. But I'm going to that dance, no matter what. I'm going to sing my heart out, because that's all I want to do right now. Singing helps me, you know. Like some medicine when your sick. Or when your extremely mad and decide to throw something at the person who made you mad. It helps me.

"No." I lied, "And go ahead, because he leaves before I do." She didn't move and I remembered when she said I was easy to read. She looked at me to make sure I wasn't lying and nodded.

"Are you sure?" She asked as she reached the door. I nodded my head.

"Positive. "I smiled and she smiled back, "See you at school." I said before she left. I sighed and packed everything up. When I was done with my lunch I walked to my truck, just when Dominic was leaving. He didn't look at me but Heather did. She looked happy, and suddenly. It hit me.

Maybe I was jealous because, he was actually getting something I wanted. Maybe they were made for each other, and I was meant to forever be alone. And I thought that I actually had a soul mate. Funny me.

I searched for a different CD, because I wasn't in the mood to listen to Tokio Hotel. I found my Rhianna CD and put 'Cry' on. I sang to myself, in my car. Alone, once again.

Today I was wearing something like yesterday, but with pants that felt comfortable and a shirt that was tighter than the one yesterday.

It was a plain shirt. A black plain shirt.

You know just sometimes how you just feel so..down? Like there will be those days where you're all happy? Nothing can stop you from being happy? Well, I was happy this morning. Happy that Heather was going to be in my school. And smart enough she skipped a grade and was in my grade. She is smart, really smart. But back to what I was rambling about. Well, this morning I was happy, and all of a sudden I remembered Dominic was taking her to the dance, and not I, and it hurt. I have no idea why, either. But I am going to go on like I'm fine. Just like nothings bothering me.

When I reached the school, Beth was sitting there waiting for me. When I got out she started talking about how she's going to do the entire singing thing. She wants to sing "Before he cheats" by Carrie Underwood. I laughed at it, but I think it was a brilliant idea.

Then she talked about how Dom and Heather both came to school together, and immediately Heather grabbed his hand. They barely knew each other, and they are already holding hands? She also said how he smiled when she did it.

Just like nothings bothering me. I kept reminding myself.

So I went with it, I was normal me. Smiled when I needed, never looked at the table Dominic was at, at lunch. Where Heather was with him. First day and she doesn't even spend time with me. Just perfect.

Even though I'm smiling, pretending. I'm hurting on the inside. No idea why, or how.

I just wanted to go up to him and ask him what the hell is wrong with him, because honestly, I'm so confused and he's the reason why I am.

But, It's just how it was before. He ignored me, looked at me when he needed someone to pick on. Like he never talked to me. And now, it was killing me.

All because of that one stupid kiss.

Wow, a kiss can change a whole lot.