I'm Not Your Protege, Just Your Kid

It’s been nearly two weeks since the party incident on Halloween and Devon and I haven’t really been talking still. Not only had the guys noticed this, but so did Noah and his gang. We’d say the occasional ‘good morning’ to each other when he ran into each other, but that wasn’t often. Both of us had good reasons as to why we weren’t talking to one another; I was too stubborn and had too much pride to apologize and Devon was beyond pissed and disappointed in me for doing drugs. It sucked to not talk to him for this long when we live within the same house. We’ve never gone this long without communicating and day by day it was hitting me harder than ever like a ton of bricks.

Today the guys wanted to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain in L.A. with just Devon and I so they could spend time with me before going on tour next month. I didn’t feel like going anywhere I would’ve rather stayed home and slept, but Zack wouldn’t shut the hell up until I agreed to go.

I walked out of my room dressed and ready to go. Devon’s door was still shut and locked and I sighed and continued down the stairs. When I got downstairs I saw that only Matt and Jimmy were here so far and were waiting for everyone on the couch.

“Hey Jayden,” Matt greeted.

“Eh,” I grunted and shuffled into the kitchen with a hunched back.

I walked in and saw Zack putting a bunch of frozen water bottles into his back pack. He heard me come in and momentarily looked up from what he was doing.

“Good morning Jayden,” he smiled.

I gave him the same greeting I gave to Matt and he chuckled in response.

“Come on Jayden, look happy,” he said.

“I’d rather be sleeping,” I mumbled and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter.

“Oh come on now, today’s gonna be fun,” he said and wrapped an arm around me.

“Ugh, get off, it’s too early for human contact,” I groaned and shoved his arm off and walked out of the kitchen, still eating my apple with Zack laughing behind me.

I saw Devon sitting on the couch next to Jimmy and I chose to sit in the recliner in the corner. I sighed in annoyance as the doorbell went off just as I decided to sit my happy ass down. I pulled myself back up and opened the door to see Johnny standing on the doorstep with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey Zack! We have a boy scout on our doorstep!” I hollered and walked away from the open door.

Zack came walking out and saw that it was just Johnny standing there. He started laughing and invited him in while Johnny shot glares at my back. I walked back in the family room and took back my seat, still trying to finish off my apple. I started watching whatever the guys were watching on T.V. until I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that I had received a text from Noah. I felt my stomach get light and I quickly hid my excitement before anyone could notice.

Hey, you wanna hang out today?

Once I read the text I immediately got pissed. I could’ve been spending the day with Noah instead of Zack and the gang. But no, I’m stuck going to some kiddy park with a bunch of grown men and my own brother who refused to speak or even look at me.

I can’t, I’m going to Six Flag’s today =[

Well that sucks. I really wanted to talk to you about something

Really? What about?

I’d rather we talk in person

Okay, I’ll see you Monday then

He didn’t answer back and I pocketed my phone. I racked my brain, thinking of reasons as to what Noah wanted to talk to me about.

“Where the fuck is Brian?” Jimmy whined, clearly anxious to go to the park.

Just then the doorbell rang and Jimmy sprinted to the door, not exactly sprinting seeing as how he could walk to the door within two steps because of his long legs.

“What took you so long?” Jimmy scolded Brian as they both entered the family room where we were all waiting.

“Perfection takes time,” he smirked.

“Please, you’re never going to be anywhere near perfect,” I scoffed.

“You’re right because I am perfect,” he said.

“Who lied to you? It must’ve been your parents because you have the face that only a mother could love, wait no scratch that. You have the face only a mother could look at for three minutes before puking out everything she’s eaten in a month,” I shot back and crossed my arms in triumph.

His mouth closed into a thin line but he smiled nonetheless. “You’re good kid, no wonder you have nobody to love you,” he shrugged.

I don’t even want to admit this in my head, but that actually struck a nerve deep down somewhere. Of course I didn’t have anyone to love me, I was fucking abandoned at the age of three and been skipping family to family for years now.

I clenched my jaw and I curled both of my fists until the point where my nails were digging into my palms. I gave Brian the harshest glare I could muster and everyone got quiet. From the corner of my eye I saw Devon looking at me, waiting for my reaction to Brian’s comment. He was the only person on Earth who knew what I felt like about this topic, it was very touchy and very rarely I would talk about it.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” Zack said trying to cut the tension that was stifling everyone.

Brian was the first one out the door and I silently congratulated him on making that decision because I would’ve killed him if we were within arm’s reach of each other. Devon was walking behind me when I felt his cold hand on my elbow.

“Don’t touch me,” I snapped and flung his hand off.

“Are you okay?” he asked me.

“Oh, now you want to talk to me? After you completely ignored me for the past two fucking weeks?” I harshly asked him once we got outside.

I walked off before he could answer and I climbed into Matt’s truck and took the corner seat all the way in the back so I could seclude myself from everyone. Devon climbed in next to me and I scooted even more into the corner so I couldn’t touch him. I know I was being childish, but Brian had really hurt my feelings and I wanted nothing more then to be upstairs in my bed wallowing in self-pity.

I knew that idea was impossible I was going to have to hide my emotions and toughen it up like I’ve been doing my whole life.

But quite frankly, I was sick of doing that. Just for once I wanted to let go and free fall until someone decided to catch me.