About a Girl

I ignored phone calls, knocks at my door and even comforting arms that touched the comforter. I didn't want to get out of bed. I stayed there for three days only getting up to use the adjourning bathroom quickly and to eat the food that Adam had set on the dresser. I couldn't ask for a better brother than Adam, I swear I couldn't.

I climbed into bed and noticed a small note that hung on the edge of cereal bar. It read,

I've gone out be back soon - Adam

I crumbled it and threw it in the waste bin and decided that I needed to see something other than the likes of this room and make a decision on what I was going to do now.

I showered and scrubbed every inch of my body and when I reached my neck I realized that through the three days I had been crying, sleeping and trying to forget what I had seen, I still had Will's necklace on. The one accesory that would stay. As I exited the shower I took it off and threw it in my jewerly box.

Staring at the mirror through your hair,
you can't see everything that you did to me.
With your automatic eyes, five years disappeared.
Five years disappeared that night.

I dressed in a old pair of destroyed skinnys and a My Chemical Romance shirt and threw my wet hair up in a hair tie before racing out of the room and down to the kitchen. I saw Adam's laptop on the bar and turned it on and went to make something to eat while it started.

Do you want me to stay,
Do you want me to go?
Do you think I recognize
the look on your face when you think that I know?
Blinded as the shades draw closed

My mind was already processing the things that I was planning while I made myself a pb&j and plopped down in the bar stool. I quickly searched for flights.

time's up for us
Would you want me to go, if you knew
what I know?
If you knew what I know

[>>>]

I heard the door open and the shuffling of feet and then a gasp, bags dropping and then several hands pushing through to throw themselfs around me. It took me a second to see that Kate, Andy, Adam, Chizzy, and Mike were all standing in front of me. Through the crowd, or more like a barrier I spotted Bilvy standed behind them, still at the door holding a shopping bag.

"Move guys," I instructed and they gave me a look as to ask if I was sure. I nodded as they gave me room to get down and walk over to Will.

"Hi." He said quitely.

"Hello," It was a bit quiet before I took the bag and dropped it to the floor with the others and led him outside. "We need to talk:"

"Yes, Addie I'm sorry, so sorry-"

"Save it. I don't need to hear it," He looked at me, pleadingly so, hoping that he could continue. "I'm leaving."

"What?!" Bill asked outraged slightly.

"Yeah, I think it would be better. I... I can't stay here. Everything here reminds me of you and I can't have that right now, besides you're going on tour and...," He stopped me by pressing his lips against mine. I pressed back and the kissed deepened. Warning bells and sirens went off in my head.

Staring at the wall above the bed,
I can't sleep with all the secret that you keep.
With your automatic eyes,
five years disappeared.
Five years disappeared that night.

"No... no." I pushed against his chest, moving him back a few feet. "No," I shook my head and walked away from him and down the street.

Do you want me to stay,
do you want me to go?

If you knew what I know...