About a Girl

I was vaguely aware that my mouth had dropped open but that really didn’t matter because there was a traffic jam going on inside of my brain. Alex did not just say what I think he just said – did he? No, he did not. He couldn’t, I mean… He knows that I can’t feel that way, but I do, don’t I?

“Addie, I… I didn’t freak you out, did I?” Alex’s voice snapped me out of my daze and my gaze was ripped away from the stucco way and to his brown, sort of hazel eyes that sparkled under the fluorescent light. Fuck my life.

I ripped my hands out of his hold and backed slowly away from him and I could hear my heels clicking on the concrete floor, “I… Um, Alex I got to go…”

I could see that his face was full of hurt and rejection and that wasn’t what I wanted to see. I turned around quickly and ran out of the dressing room. When I finally stopped outside, against one of the buses; I felt a stitch in my chest.

“Why is this happening?” I gasped out and fell down on to my butt. I hugged my knees and let the tears fall. I knew that I was leading Alex on; especially yesterday with out two hour make out session but was I really wrong in doing so? Alex was so amazing and he was so kind and sweet and he just didn’t jump straight into things. He took things slowly and he knew that I had a broken heart, and he did the kindest simplest things like buying me ice cream and dollar store jewelry and he only wanted me to be happy – Whether it was with him or someone else, it didn’t matter as long as I was happy.

I sniffled as I thought about Alex and began comparing him against William and Brendon and vice versa. He was the better guy by far and in general. I sighed calmly thinking still, that is until I heard the sound of rubber against pavement.

I looked up seeing a tall, skinny boy with bed head walking towards me and simultaneously a smile was on my face.

“If you want – if it’ll make things better, easier; I’ll just go away. I’ll do that whole Edward Cullen bit where he just kisses that chick’s head and walks away and doesn’t come back until like fifteen minutes before the movies over.” Alex’s hands were stuck in his back pockets and he looked so defenseless. I looked up into his face and looked deep into his eyes and saw that he had been crying and a pain jolted through my chest.

I stood up and wrapped my arms around him and just rested my head on his chest. It felt so great to feel the weight of his chin on top of my head and his arms squeezing me against him.

“Alex,” I said, not moving myself once inch. “I don’t want you to go away; I don’t want you to do a single thing, like that anyways. I just want you to stay right here with me, because… I love you too.”