And She Made the Shape of My Heart With Her Hands

“Garrett, where’s Cara?”

Garrett took a sip of his soda. “You mean my drugged up little sister? She’s being retarded and stupid on the kids’ play thing.”

I heard my brother answering Pat, so I slid down the bright yellow slide of the fast-food place. “Wee! Here I am,” I called out like a stupid little kid.

“Wow. Can you tell she’s on painkillers?”

John snorted. “Heck no,” he answered sarcastically.

For the past few days, I’ve been entertaining The Maine. Why was that? Because of the constant doses of painkillers I was prescribed, I was acting like something in between a stoner and a kid with extreme ADHD.

I sat down abruptly next to my brother at the table set up outside. “Don’t be sarcastic,” I said to John.

His mouth twitched up into a small and amused smile. “Why not?”

I rolled my eyes sloppily like a drunk. “Because it’s true, silly boy. You totally can’t tell that I’m on meds.”

Just about everyone that was listening to me, which was basically the whole band plus Trevor and Tim, let out a loud laugh.

I frowned. “Is it really that obvious?”

Everyone shook their heads vigorously. “Hell yeah,” my brother added.

I frowned even more. “Oh.” I paused, sitting up straight and looking up at the sky. “Hey,” I pointed out in an amazed whisper, “there aren’t any clouds in the sky.”

The guys all basically laughed at me. I looked at them strangely, cocking my head to the side and furrowing my brow. I quickly shook it off.

“Did you eat today?” My brother questioned me.

“Did you eat today?” I threw back at him stupidly.

“Yes.”

“Yes,” I repeated.

He shook his head back and forth a few times. “Whatever.”

I put my hand next to my mouth, like I was telling a secret. “Garrett will never admit this,” I whispered to Pat, John, Jared, and Kennedy, “but he really loves me to pieces.”

“I cannot wait till she’s finished this bottle of medicine,” Garrett muttered.

“You see? He’s showing his brotherly affection towards me.”

“What?” Garrett furrowed his brow and turned to me.

I shrugged. “I have absolutely no idea what I’m saying.”

“We can tell,” Pat and John said together.

“Awww,” I cooed as I looked at the colorful playground near us. Some of the guys turned towards the direction I was looking at. “That adorable little boy just fell.” I frowned, still looking in the toddler’s direction, studying his brown locks and bright eyes. “I want a baby.”

Everyone’s gaze darted up to me, their eyes in slight shock. “Not this second!”

“Uh, I’m going to have to cut the Cara Show off a little short,” Tim interrupted the awkward moment just in time. “We have to get going. We need to get there in about an hour.”

I saluted Tim with my hand. “Okie dokie, Captain.” With that, I skipped back to the van, the boys following me behind.

“Cara, you’re a nutcase.”

“I love you, too, Garrett!”

***

“Oh, crap.”

“What?”

“Camille just texted me,” I explained. “I know it’s going to be a pain trying to text with only my left hand.”

“Want me to do it?” Pat offered.

“Sure. Just don’t make fun of our stupid girl conversations,” I warned, handing him my phone.

“Alright. I’m ready.”

I nodded. “Tell Camille that I just broke my wrist a couple days ago by falling. Then say that I still miss her and love her, then bye,” I dictated. Pat’s tan fingers moved constantly, typing in my message.

“Aw. Two little lesbian friends. Cute,” Kennedy teased.

I snorted. “Yeah, you wish.” Kennedy smiled a little.

I suddenly got a disturbing image of Camille and I making out hard core. I quickly squirmed in my seat. “That’s disgusting.”

“Get a mental image?”

“Unfortunately,” I answered him, my face scrunched up in repulsion. He chuckled.

“We’re here,” Trevor announced.

“Yee haw!”

***

As soon as we got there, more people wanted to sign my cast, including some of the members of Good Charlotte. With only minutes till The Maine was to go on and a full house in stock, there was a lot of hustle and bustle back stage.

“Hey,” Trevor approached me. “They set off a special spot on the side of the audience just for some of us backstage. We can get the whole view of the stage!”

“That’s awesome! Do we go now?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Trevor led me through till we got to a place that was blocked off with a short metal gate. It was in front of the side of the stage, still leading back to behind it. It was a pretty decent spot, and I was excited to see my brother’s band perform from a better angle.

Suddenly the crowd burst into a round of applause as The Maine entered the stage, everyone getting to their instruments before waving at everyone.

Soon enough, the loud music started, all the instruments playing amazingly, the beat pumping through everyone’s bodies.

That’s when John started, “You count ‘em one, two, three
You look so cute when you get that mad” Suddenly his light eyes flashed over to my face. “You drain the life from me and it feels oh so good,
The looks you give are so contagious,
The way we move is so outrageous,
Just let me in,
We're wasting time,
Just let me in,
Let's make it right.”

Within those few verses of the song, John looked nowhere but straight at me, staring right into my green eyes the entire time, barely blinking. It was like he was talking to me.

He kept singing the song, dancing around the stage and reaching out to the wild audience at times. That’s when he looked directly at me again, and sang, “You're moving close,
My pulse is racing,
We're getting close,
Yeah I can taste it,
I've never done it quite like this,
So slow it down now,
Just slow it down.”

He looked back at the crazy fans, moving continuously around the stage again. For the following few songs, John didn’t keep his gaze on me like he did those first couple times, but he did, however, take a few glances over at me. Each time sent another pair of butterflies flying through me.

When the band was done, I couldn’t help but wonder, was John really that good at connecting with people from the stage, or was there something more to it?

“Awesome show, guys!”

“Uh, yeah,” I agreed with Trevor and his enthusiasm. I smiled respectfully and then turned my gaze to the floor.

“What’s the matter?”

“Um, nothing,” I replied to Jared. “The painkillers must be wearing off.”

“Do you want me to get you more?”

“Oh, no thanks, Pat. It’s all right. I feel fine.”

“Well, okay then.” With that, he smiled and walked away with the rest of the band, excluding John.

He and I stood there awkwardly. He smirked. “You seem nervous or something, Cara.”

I looked up at him. “No, I’m fine.”

He smiled a little bit. “Okay.”

“Oh, yeah.” I paused and then continued, “You connect with the crowd well.”

“Thanks, but it wasn’t the whole crowd I was really trying to connect with,” John smirked a little at my slightly bewildered expression, and walked passed me.

I was in a slight state of shock as I remained frozen where I stood, my arms over my stomach, looking around at the floor, all noise blocked out from my ears.

What did he mean by that? Was it really not my drugged up imagination playing tricks on me?

“Hey, come on. We need to go sign stuff and meet our fans,” Garrett mentioned.

The band went towards an exit; I stayed where I was, thinking that I wouldn’t be needed there.

“Come with us, Cara,” Pat said.

“What? Why?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Just come with us.”

I walked along side of Pat as they went through an opening that suddenly viewed a shit load of ecstatic fans, most of them screaming girls. I blushed a little, feeling out of place.

It was almost an hour and fifteen minutes of signing and pictures and whatnot, when one girl approached me. She was blonde, lean, and had cute red sunglasses on the top of her head. I recognized them as the ones my brother threw out to the crowd.

“Hi, I’m Gina. Are you Garrett’s sister Cara?” She asked me, blinking her brown eyes a couple times.

I nodded and smiled a little. “That’d be me.”

“I thought so. I mean, I saw a video on Buzznet with you in it,” she explained.

I thought back. “The one in the hotel?”

She nodded, her hair falling over her shoulders. She looked about fourteen. “Yep. Anyway, during the show, I noticed John looking over at you at parts of the songs. Are you two like… dating?”

My eyes widened for a moment then resized to normal. “Oh… No, Gina. We’re not.” I halfheartedly smiled.

She returned the expression. “Sorry. I just saw him looking at you at times, and I just got the wrong idea, I guess.”

“It’s fine,” I assured her.

“Well, I should go. It was nice talking to you.” She started walking away when she turned around abruptly. “By the way, I think your brother’s hot.”

“Err… I’ll let him know that.” She laughed and kept walking.

“Come on, kid. We’re heading out,” Kennedy put his hand on my back and pushed me in the direction of the van.

That girl thought I was John’s girlfriend? Wow. That was…Whoa.